A Foundation for Happy Siblings
People often ask me how at 13 years apart our children are so close, so bonded, so happy as siblings, so thoughtful with one another.
From the moment we told our 8th grade son I was pregnant, we made his comfort level & happiness our #1 priority.
I told him he would be her Superhero Big Brother! I also pointed out that the 
benefit of the huge age gap was that there would be no sibling rivalry ever – she would never want his big teen guy stuff & he would never want her tea sets and Barbies. It was just easy from the very beginning.
I also put him in charge of the baby shower gift registry. Phillip showed him how to use the zapper in the baby section at Toys R Us. He took great pride in our confidence of his decision-making as he compared & contrasted each item. We also let him zap a few goodies for himself so he felt extra special, too!
The baby shower was a big party not just for ladies – we had family, friends…girls, guys, kids. We three opened the packages later that evening. Phillip read the cards, I wrote the list of names & we had our son open the packages. It was exciting because every present was so beautiful and HE chose each item himself. When he found a bonus package here and there for
himself, it was like a birthday or holiday. We made that shower so fun for him.
The following day, he & Dad built the crib, changing table, bassinet, play sets & anything else that needed assembling. Our son felt accomplished & connected!
On the day of her birth, he waited with my Doula, opening a surprise gift from his soon-arriving baby sister. He spent the time reading the instructions for his new IPod & testing all the cool features! What a sister!
When he first held the baby, he noted how tiny & delicate she was. He was in awe.
The Bright Spot – Our son has lived up to his incredibly important role as Superhero Big Brother! He was there for each milestone & helped teach her how to walk, go down a slide, tie her shoes & zip her coat. He saw her 1st missing tooth, took her on her 1st sleigh ride and taught her how to ride her bike. For every 1st, her Superhero Big Brother was there!
For a monumental event in our family’s life, click this link: BHUp
Click here for The Making of a Superhero: Superhero Big Brother
Hand me a Volleyball!
Well known for its particularly high satisfaction rating by patients, I am no exception with my bilateral reduction mammoplasty (photo taken next morning): 
With the initial look at my dressing upon waking in recovery, I was simply delighted with the white bralette, my first ever. I felt like someone should hand me a volleyball so I could head to a California beach straight away!
Over 3 hours & hundreds of internal stitches later, Dr. Chang Soo Kim (GCsurgeryandlasers.com) & his amazing team removed nearly 1,500 grams! Find a 3.3 pound weight and put it on a chain & wear it around your neck over your lungs and tell me if you don’t want to rip it off by the end of the week! Not only did Dr. Kim give me the breasts of a 20-year-old, but I could suddenly breathe effortlessly again!!
I don’t blame breastfeeding, I don’t blame aging & I certainly don’t blame weight loss. 
Life started out normal…
And then, what on Earth happened?? I mean, seriously, look at my little neck…
No matter how little I weighed, I was
still a DDD+. Not pleasant when the rest of my body was wearing a size 4.
It translates into neck & back pain, underwires digging into soft skin, and bursting
buttons.
I had never experienced a surgery that would alter my appearance. Between fun, function & fashion, the twins had served their time well.
But enough was enough. Deemed a medical necessity, I was grateful it was fully covered by our insurance. So grateful!! All $91,234.43!
Unless you’ve not been able to bounce on a trampoline with your kids or run through Costcos without getting black eyes or lay on your stomach at the Chiropractor’s or zip up your coat without pushing past the bust roadblock or comfortably enjoy a massage or if you’ve rested your twins on your wrists climbing the stairs or slung your mammaries into the massive nylon cups of a minimizer or released them at the end of the night only to swing like tube socks with golf balls or if you sleep on your side with a pillow just for your top boob or find it difficult to buy a pretty little outfit with straps or take a deep breath without holding up your center bra wire or accidentally hit the delete button with your breast when you’re reaching over your keyboard, then you may understand. Millions of women do. This surgery is life-changing!
And those shocked by my decision only proves I was a master of camouflaging my DDD+ girls with the perfected fashionable slouch, wearing baggy blouses, and, as countless women know, subjecting ourselves to breath-defying minimizer bras.
Dr. Kim & his team were incredibly kind. I even asked to pray before surgery, something I’ve never done before and really didn’t even know what to say, but Dr. Kim held my hand and his team gathered around and I felt safe and cared for and the next thing I knew, after “Amen,†I was waking up in recovery feeling lighter & breathing easily.
The only unusual part of the day was standing with Phillip shortly before surgery in the pre-op room and the doctor used a special surgical Sharpie pen to mark my skin for the incisions. Ewww. I tried not to picture what those lines really meant.
When it was time to go home late that night around 10pm, Phillip helped me change. Gown off, we both looked down for the first time and were excited and pleased. No drains. No ugly bandage wraps. Just a little white satin bralette. I felt so adorable. I felt 20 again. “You look awesome,†Phillip exclaimed. Cool!
I dreamed of finally buying a pretty bra with a lovely pattern or wearing something strapless for the first time. When I got home, I wore a cozy PJ top I have never been able to button before. It was exciting!
Interestingly, if anything could go wrong the weeks leading up to surgery, it did. But it wasn’t going to deter me.
I had partially torn my meniscus 
and was in physical therapy 3 times a week in February. Phillip just recovered from another intensive cancer treatment surgery (The Journey) through February & I was drained. My Mom 
tripped 10 days earlier and I was making the 60-mile roundtrip to her house daily to care for her. Then Mom (Tribute to Mom) fell the day of my surgery and injured herself even more. My sister & niece both have bronchitis and my daughter broke her foot in gym this week prompting us to immediately cancel the friends’ homes where she was to stay during my initial recovery. As if that weren’t enough, I haven’t had my period for a year & the night before surgery it came on with full force & was relentless all week. Then a fluke March blizzard delayed my follow-up visit to the surgeon. One thing after another, but you know me. Nothing would stop me & so it is done.
I came home that night, got in bed, put my feet up, snuggled our 3 kitty cats & haven’t moved much since. We inflated a triple-decker queen air mattress in our room with pretty aqua sheets & a pastel butterfly comforter for my little Darling, 
and we’ve been cozying up watching The Flash, enjoying tea & scones, and letting our Boys deal with the chaos in the real world while she & I focus on our *Healing Party.*
(And Mom has Visiting
Angels now).
The reduction was a huge decision, no pun intended. No woman goes into such a major surgery without having given it a great deal of thought. 4 girlfriends went through it and offered words of wisdom. Recovery was quick and, thanks to strong meds, relatively 
comfortable. (Phillip’s med chart > for me.) No stretching, no pushing, no pulling, no lifting, no standing upright for a long time. No driving 
for 2 weeks.
For a busy Mom, it’s actually quite nice to stay in bed for a while.
My gals still “under wraps” as I enjoy a lovely salmon dinner in bed. Phillip has brought me every culinary delight this week & is keeping me on track with infection & pain meds around the clock.
My husband & I met with Dr. Kim a week later for the unveiling. Phillip says the Redesigned Twins are “spellbinding!” Ooh! (blushing). We’re happy, I can breathe & long necklace ornaments will never be bobbling off the center wire of my big brassieres again because those parachutes are all in File 13!
UPDATE: DAY 9
(Warning: Graphic photos ahead intended for mature audiences only)
We visited Dr. Kim yesterday, the one-week checkup since surgery. To be honest, I was afraid to look down & see stitches when the doctor took my bandages off. That’s when Phillip gave me that beautiful compliment above. But today was Day 9 and I seriously needed to shower so this would be my first meeting with my girls.
stared at myself in the mirror for the longest time. I mean, just really stood there and stared. What looked back at me was the most beautiful set of healthy, perky twins with an upturned point you would only see on a mannequin and think, “Yeah, that’s not for real.”
– Thank you, Dr. Kim, for your wisdom & your artistry. Your work is outstanding and you and your
team are the very best and have made me feel light & amazing. 2 things that make Dr. Kim stand out from the rest – he doesn’t like to use drains which I’ve heard are painful to remove a week or more later. And he uses a special technique to help save sensation after healing. Dr. Chang Soo Kim ~ Click: GCSurgeryandLaser 203-920-1444
UPDATE: DAY 18
As one friend who has been through this aptly put it, “Your lady bits are tender now. Drink tea, binge watch & recover.” Good advice & someday soon I’ll be able to lay on my stomach! Photos below of my loving Support Team!! Daily our furbabies skillfully demonstrate how to just lay around & chill.
I would like to thank everyone who is been so encouraging & wonderful especially in helping to pick up our Darling from school, or bring her home after track, or to and from dances, sleepovers & movies, or brought me to the doctor for stitches cleaning/dressing changes or sent goodies or brought dinner, you know who you are & I’m grateful.
Thank you, in particular, to Nayer, Samara, Maria, Anitta, Emily, Melissa, Aimee, Cheryl, Chloe, Mighty Medina’s, Jane, Stephen B., Rose, Ann, Cathy, Sue, Lorine, Julie, Hannah F., John Z., Billy & Shannon, Luz & Lisa, Suzanne, Barry & Sara, thank you all!! Your actions meant a lot!
UPDATE: 1st Summer!
I find it funny that when I’ve run into friends these past two months, the 1st thing they say is, “Hey, how are your boobs!?” So here’s an update: It’s been 4 months since undergoing this major surgery & this major change in my life. It took weeks to drive or even lift my arms above my shoulders. But with each passing month, I’m just happier and so thankful to feel light and look like a normal person in clothes. And it’s not just my new clothes…I’ve been able to “closet shop!” So yes, everything feels different and new because fabrics hang properly now.
The surgeon explained the outside stitches would heal at their own pace and then I could use scar tape across, down & under (left photo) to lighten the marks once the wounds closed. It works very well. He explained, however, that the hundreds of internal stitches are different – they are made of a slow-dissolving material that takes months to dissolve while the soft breast tissue heals. I accidentally pulled out 2 of them when I peeled off the scar tape to shower. Owww! Those stitches were tough & thick like a clear nylon fishing line. Believe me, I peel much slower now!!
In the end, all is wonderful and summer in spaghetti straps is a dream realized. (You can still see the dents in my shoulders above from all those burdensome years…well-endowed ladies, you know what I’m talking about!)
Who knew 32 years ago when I asked my parents if I could paint my walls – I think 
they thought ivory or yellow or something! – that I would paint this picture…check it out – my gals look like that painting!
The Bright Spot– As I mentioned above, it’s 100% all-natural me, just less of me!!!
Superhero & Baby Sister ~ Turning 10
How time has flown!!
 Little One turns 10, what a wonderful decade it’s been!
…………………
…………………………
Video: Here is a look at the early years with her very own Superhero Big Brother:
VIDEO:Â Here is a look at the early years with her very own Superhero Big Brother:
The Bright SpotTMÂ Â – Having an incredible Big Brother to look up to & count on forever!
  
    
The Making of a Superhero
Is he a kite-flyer? Is he a trampoline-flipper? Is he a bike-fixer? Yes, he’s Superhero Big Brother!!
 
A hurricane protector, a shoe-tier, a cookie dough-maker, a tree climber, a boo-boo fixer, an Easter egg opener, a stuck zipper fixer, a skating racer, a perfect-pumpkin-picker, a snuggly dude, a super swing-pusher, the best storyteller, the technology teacher, the family-endorsed official opener of all packaged holiday toys, and, of course, an honorary member of the stroller posse! But most importantly, the kindest big brother who nurtures and protects his baby sister.
  
  
People often ask how we got such phenomenally-bonded children. As parents, when you show love, tenderness and respect to each other and to your children, it filters through the family, growing and bonding it together with immeasurable strength.
  
  
   
  
  
 
   
And from that strength, the freedom to love and express kindness and thoughtfulness is just natural.
    
Our son was 13 when our daughter was born. He was a part of the whole pregnancy journey, from building the crib and changing table with Dad, to using the zapper at Babies-R-Us to register for the baby. The baby shower was a huge party, not just for ladies, but for all friends, young and old, male and female, and our son was center stage as the new Superhero-in-the-making!
  
  
We put him in charge of opening the gifts which he unwrapped with great zeal seeing all the items he had zapped weeks earlier. He was an integral part of every step. And the day his baby sister was born, she gave him an I-pod, so, of course, she was just the coolest!
  
  
When he held her that 1st day, he marveled, “She can’t even lift her own head.†I looked at him wearily and smiled, “No, she depends on us for everything, and she will look to you to teach her the most amazing things.
   
 
 
  
 
 
She will always look at you as her Superhero for the rest of her life. We are very proud of you.â€
 
 
The Bright SpotTM 
 – Our daughter just turned 9 last week. Our son turned 22. He is a Superhero in our daughter’s eyes…and ours.
It Would Be Our Honor
I answered my cell on a sunny Friday while I was upstate with the kids. “I’m going to marry my sweetheart on Tuesday,” said the voice. “I was wondering if you & your family would come and represent my family since I’m alone here.”
Incredibly touched, I said it would be our honor! And with that, we attended a beautiful wedding     4 days later. Our friend was from Haiti and his family could not fly in for the ceremony.
My husband was father-brother-friend all wrapped into one, our daughter was a flower girl & I took delight in capturing memories on film.
Our friend was marrying into a loving, close-knit family.
 
  
  
His bride was stunning.
 
His in-laws were welcoming & kind. And we were moved by the warmth & joy that surrounded all of us this beautiful August afternoon. May we all be so blessed to have such an affectionate family.
 
  
 
  
 
   
Â
The Bright SpotTM  - Blessings to you, our friend, and your radiant wife. Peace on your journey of life together. See update 2015 below 🙂 b~xoxo
It’s been a few years & look who’s arrived! The sweetest, darling little baby boy for this wonderful couple. Love those eyes, love those cheeks!
 
