A Foundation for Happy Siblings

People often ask me how at 13 years apart our children are so close, so bonded, so happy as siblings, so thoughtful with one another.

From the moment we told our 8^th grade son I was pregnant, we made his comfort level & happiness our #1 priority.

I told him he would be her Superhero Big Brother! I also pointed out that the 

benefit of the huge age gap was that there would be no sibling rivalry ever – she would never want his big teen guy stuff & he would never want her tea sets and Barbies. It was just easy from the very beginning.

I also put him in charge of the baby shower gift registry. Phillip showed him how to use the zapper in the baby section at Toys R Us. He took great pride in our confidence of his decision-making as he compared & contrasted each item. We also let him zap a few goodies for himself so he felt extra special, too!

The baby shower was a big party not just for ladies – we had family, friends…girls, guys, kids. We three opened the packages later that evening. Phillip read the cards, I wrote the list of names & we had our son open the packages. It was exciting because every present was so beautiful and HE chose each item himself. When he found a bonus package here and there for 

himself, it was like a birthday or holiday. We made that shower so fun for him.

The following day, he & Dad built the crib, changing table, bassinet, play sets & anything else that needed assembling. Our son felt accomplished & connected!

On the day of her birth, he waited with my Doula, opening a surprise gift from his soon-arriving baby sister. He spent the time reading the instructions for his new IPod & testing all the cool features! What a sister!

When he first held the baby, he noted how tiny & delicate she was. He was in awe.

The Bright Spot – Our son has lived up to his incredibly important role as Superhero Big Brother! He was there for each milestone & helped teach her how to walk, go down a slide, tie her shoes & zip her coat. He saw her 1^st missing tooth, took her on her 1^st sleigh ride and taught her how to ride her bike. For every 1^st, her Superhero Big Brother was there!

For a monumental event in our family’s life, click this link: BHUp   

Click here for The Making of a Superhero: Superhero Big Brother

The Easter Tree

I had a dilemma and this is how I resolved it.

It came time to put away the Christmas trees. We have 3 between 6 & 8 feet. One is new. By the time I packed away all of the decorations including new boxes for the new ornaments, I was exhausted. Christmastime is a big deal in our home & I love to decorate, click: Joy!

The new tree came pre-lit with white lights & the boughs glistened with soft snow and sparkling branches.

It was so beautiful that Phillip said, “Why not keep it up all year.” He says that every year; I dismiss it & eventually put everything away but this year, I just kept delaying. I thought of the tree in Senator Conger’s home, click here to see it: Skaneateles  It’s in the grand foyer decorated for each season. And that was it! I’m decorating our new around-the-year tree for each season!

 

    

         

The Bright Spot – This lovely tree, topped with 7 climbing claret orchids, is bright & cheerful by day & sparkly at night. Thanks for enjoying this pictorial with us.

Our Soldier Surprises His Sister at School!

Our son is a Soldier in the Elite 82nd Airborne Combat Aviation Brigade.

Our B-e-s-t CHRISTMAS ever as he comes home unexpectedly & surprises his sister at school after being away for a year!

Starts off with a few kids, then hundreds gather to form a huge semicircle to witness the surprise! The Principal says he saw a horseshoe form with nearly 600 kids!

Thank you to all of the students who came up afterwards & thanked our son for his service! 

Credit: Buddy Brown, Lyrics: Daniel Brown, Album: Deep South ~ Stop When You See a Uniform

Click this video below:

So proud our son has earned the Meritorious Unit Citation, the Presidential Unit Citation, National Defense Service Ribbon, Joint Meritorious Unit Award, his Aviation Wings, the Marksman Sharpshooter Award & he proudly wears the French Fourragere of the Ordre de la Libation awarded to the 82nd Airborne during the Historic Battle of Normandy. Then our Soldier surprised his Grandma ~ we love those outstretched arms!!A woman sitting at the next table cried during this reunion. It was overwhelming & beautiful for all.The Bright Spot – Celebrating the holidays together!!

Skaneateles

After ziplining at Niagara Falls (click here for video: Niagara), we said goodbye to Ontario, Canada & headed 3 hours south to the Benn Conger Inn, a gorgeous Colonial built in 1921 for State Senator Conger in Tompkins County, New York, winery country.

Owners Peter Zon & Douglas Yurubi greeted us warmly upon our arrival after 9:30pm with local wine for Phillip and a cozy place for us to eat a late dinner. The stories we shared, the majesty of the house & their divine breakfast made for a memorable stay & wishes for an expeditious return! 

 

Peter & Doug organized a lovely boat trip on the Skaneateles River in Onondaga County, a rural community in the Finger Lakes Region. Skaneateles is an Iroquois term meaning “long lake,” 16 miles long, 315’ deep!

The captain’s tour of spectacular mansions and their prestigious owners captivated us all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Afterwards, we toured the historic Sherwood Inn, circa 1800, followed by a hearty dinner at a pub before our daughter purchased exquisite handcrafted art pieces from the enchanting Skaneateles Artisan’s Gallery Under the Old Stone Mill. .

         

(Credits: Skaneateles Artisans Under the Old Stone Mill & Benn Conger Inn)

 

The Bright Spot – The tranquility was revitalizing and seeing the famous portrait of Madame X, Virginie Amélie Avegno Gautreau, in person was delightful!!

Oil on canvas, 1884

 

Below is my brochure & the painting can be see above over the main staircase.

(Credit: The Metropolitan Museum of Art)

Black Hawk Up!

Today marks a monumental change for our family that affects all of us especially our daughter.

 

Her Superhero left home today.   

For a long time.

Click this link for: Superhero 

We are a particularly close family. This is big for us.

 

(Our son telling his sister the news)    
(Looking over the enlistment papers & his future career path)

An officer picked him up from the house; he will fly to South Carolina for the U.S. Army Aviation division.

He made the decision 3 weeks ago to defend & protect our nation & honor all those who have gone before him. 

 

 

 

 

It all happened quite quickly. He will become a Black Hawk engineer. The UH-60L Black Hawk starts at $5.9 million.

 

We thought it would just be for 2 or 3 years. He has been commissioned for 6 years!!!                                       

(Credit/3 photos: AlphaCoders.com  Lockheed Martin/Sikorsky Military UH-60 Black Hawk)

We celebrated Thanksgiving with him last Wednesday; he will be home for a few days for Christmas. We will have no contact with him except for 2-3 minute phone calls on a Sunday, only if earned.

On our last full day yesterday, 9 of us including his girlfriend and some friends enjoyed a memorable lunch & show at Medieval Times.    

Our family had breakfast this morning together and our children hugged their good byes. Our little one left for school with a brave face although her heart was breaking.

I’m glad for the hustle & bustle of the holidays so we can’t focus on the emptiness in our hearts during the coming weeks.

We thank everyone for the countless emails, texts, etc., pouring in. Here are a few:

From our daughter’s principal: “How proud of your son you all must be and I must say that I am too! I am sure this is difficult on all of you, in spite of the pride, but clearly your daughter will miss him tremendously. We will be sure to be of any support we can. Next time you speak with him please send him my best.”

Jane Fendelman, author, therapist & recurrent guest on “Let’s Talk!” wrote, “It takes a very generous heart for a mom to be happy for her son stepping out in a whole new way. His life is going to expand times 100.”

One of our daughter’s 6^th grade teachers wrote, “Tell your son thank you for his service – it takes a strong person to join the army. What an amazing role model he must be for his little sister.”

One of her 8^th grade teachers wrote, “My family is a big fan of Black Hawks! I have the utmost respect for her brother. What a selfless and generous decision.”

Our daughter’s 2^nd grade teacher wrote, “WOW! Proud mama moment! I’m sure you have a range of emotions with this one. Hang in there and know that his service is much appreciated.”

Oh, yes, the emotional pendulum is swinging, that’s for sure. Proud, happy, sad, nervous, excited, thrilled. He just left a few hours ago and we miss him so much already!

I suppose a uniform was always in our son’s future. From the time he wore the cap of one of New York City’s Finest to the moment the Associated Press captured this photo at the 9-1-1 Memorial at Yankee Stadium, he proudly wore his uniforms as a Cub Scout, Boy Scout, Volunteer Firefighter & Cadet at Valley Forge Military Academy & College. 

The Academy was founded in 1928 by Lieutenant General Milton G. Baker. The 1st cadet to enroll was Guy Wheeler, Jr., who graduated in 1934. He was awarded the Outstanding Alumnus Award given for outstanding service to the school.                          (Fellow cadet & our son long ago)

 

 

 

General Baker awarded this flag to Cadet Wheeler, Jr., for his services to the school. The flag hung in his office until his retirement. Following his death, he was buried next to the chapel at Valley Forge and the flag was given to his son, Guy Wheeler, III, an alumnus of Valley Forge, Class of 1968.

 

Mr. Wheeler presented this flag to our son on July 15, 2008 for his inspiring passion and love of VFMA&C.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’d like to say I’m prepared for what lies ahead, but, in truth, I am not.

It’s all happening so fast. I received an informational email with the Subject line: “Welcome to the Army Family – Pre-Ship Parent Information” followed

 by “I welcome you because as the parent of a soldier, you, too, are serving in the United States Army.”

Daunting. But the email is full of links, videos, seminars (one is tomorrow night – my husband & I will log into it to learn about the 1-2-3’s of the Reception Battalion and Basic Training before our son’s specialized training begins in his chosen field. 

The Bright Spot – Proud of our son. Proud of our country. Proud of all who serve. God bless America!

Well, here we go! Maybe you’ll leap right into something you’ve always wanted to do & see what new adventures lie ahead. Until we leap into his arms again, we will miss him with all our hearts. We love you, dear son!

See how our Darling’s brother became a Superhero, click here: Big Brother 

F-35 Lightning, Blue Angels, Red Arrows!!!!

Turn your volume to 10 & enjoy the supersonic sounds of jet engines roaring to this super-amazing song, LEGEND by THE SCORE!!!! (Copyright Owners: UMG on behalf of Universal Records, Album: Atlas by The Score). Video from our cell phones, one of my all-time videos to edit especially to this fabulous song!! Enlarge & turn it up!!!

We joined 50,000 people over the weekend at the New York International Air Show 2019, Stewart Int’l Airport, New Windsor near West Point for the debut of the $100 Million Mighty F-35 Lightning II Supersonic Fighter Jet, helmet $400,000, 3-mile vertical climb in 3 seconds – YES, A MILE A SECOND!!!!  So heart-poundingly loud – can break the sound barrier!!! The rumble in our bodies as the Lightning II thundered by is indescribable!!!!

Plus, the US Navy’s phenomenal BLUE ANGELS & the Royal Air Force’s RED ARROWS precision aerobatics!!! Red Arrows touring the US after 11 years. And when our new mighty F-35 Lightning II flew with the World War II P-51 Fighter Bomber plane (see end of video above), it was such an unforgettable moment of new technology & old faithfuls, wow!!!!

Royal Air Force Red Arrows ~ 11 pilots, 100+ crew, 5,000 aerobatic performances in 57 countries since launching 1965! Our daughter received all the aviators’ autographs here:

(Credit: Royal Air Force Red Arrows & The Blues)

The entire show was breathtaking!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yes, this pic from our cell phone!) 

 (Credit: US Navy’s Blue Angels logo)(Credit: Royal Air Force Red Arrows banner)

The Bright Spot – A bucket list moment for my dear husband! (Click: Phillip) After 12 hours, we came home & watched TOP GUN ON FULL VOLUME – OF COURSE!!!! Dad’s favorite movie!!!

Our Soldier: 82nd Airborne

20th Anniversary

Happy 20th Anniversary!
These photos are of our weddings in England & America.

They were 4 weeks apart both under a full moon.

In the last group of photos, there’s a picture of us today. 

For more on the English wedding, click here: Castles & Vows

Since my beloved father had passed away suddenly the previous year, my husband’s wonderful father walked me down the aisle in England and my father’s best friend, Prince Abdul Ali Seraj, walked me down the aisle in America. My sweet dog, Moussie, with his huge white bow led the way down the aisle!! And I love how Moussie’s standing next to me in the above picture!

For the story on this amazing dog, click here: Moussie

I had wonderful bridesmaids at the English wedding & the American wedding and, of course, the best maid-of-honor, my sister! Most bridesmaids flew back and forth. Look closely and you’ll see my sweet furbaby, Moussie, sitting on the grass with his big white bow in front of the blue dress!!! 

Then & now….photo from today. *Poof* ~ 20 years flew by!

I had my bouquet designed after my mother’s bouquet. I’ve gazed upon my mother’s wedding portrait since I was a baby. It was something to love and cherish and admire. She had natural stems and a huge red bow, biggest I’d ever seen. She cradled the bouquet in one arm. I brought a copy of her portrait to the florists in England & the States for both weddings.

                  

The Bright Spot – Love. I love how my mother looks at my father devotedly. She adored him. He was her one and only and she’s lived these 21 years alone since he died but she keeps his memory alive always talking about him when we’re together. It’s sad and beautiful at the same time.

My husband and I have been through a lot these 20 years. Of course, I appreciate all the blessings of our wonderful family, especially my children, and the life Phillip and I have created together. 

But there have been many tragedies – 5 miscarriages, Phillip’s aggressive Stage 4 cancer (click: The Good, The Bad & The Spicy), loss of our company in the deep recession, other complete miseries throughout the years, and now the weird lightning bolt that took out our well pump the day before our 20th Anniversary costing us $3,700 wiping out our summer vacation fund for the vital rest Phillip needed since he missed vacation last year because of more cancer treatments.

So you can imagine how thoroughly touched I was when a friend through Facebook whom I’ve never met but mutually feel kinship toward for an assortment of reasons including the fact that she loves animals and is just simply amazingly kind, wrote this: 

Wow! Truly, Liz captured the essence of these two decades. Thank you, Liz, for your kindness toward us, animals and all whom you serve.

1st Literary Award

Our 11-year-old earned her 1st Literary Award in a competition she entered months ago. She submitted a mini version of her 1st novella. It’s the 38th year of this competition & is open worldwide.

When Phillip read us the letter aloud, she jumped with pure delight feeling the fruits of her accomplishment after having spent months writing. We are so happy for her and very proud of her!

Castles & Angels

This gorgeous English countryside was captured on my cell phone! Breathtaking. Lush. So British.

During our 2-week trip to Europe to visit family, we went with some good friends to Northumberland. The girls loved that parts of Downton Abbey and Harry Potter were filmed here at Alnwick Castle.

 Lots to do here including bamboo mazes, ventures through the magic fairy gardens, the famous Poison Garden and, of course, flying broomstick classes!!

  

  

 

On our way back to Grandma’s, we pulled off the highway to see the Angel of the North, a massive copper & steel statue in Newcastle Gateshead, believed to be the largest angel sculpture on the planet. The wingspan reaches wider than a jumbo jet and the angel stands 65 feet high, more than 4 double-decker buses! We’ve seen her on the hillside from the highway for over 15 years. This ride home, we actually pulled off the exit and made time to visit. Those are the life-changing things we have found we do facing this awful journey of cancer, click: Kicking Cancer!

Yes, actually seizing the day and doing what we wish at a moment’s notice because no one knows how many moments we all have.  More than 150,000 people visit each year. This year, we’re one of those people.

 The Bright Spot – Visiting family & friends…and pulling off the highway to really seize the day!!

Everyone Needs Their Mum!!

We had a 2-week window between Phillip’s last chemical injection and the start of his radiation. It will be 40 rounds of daily radiation from June through August. He wanted to see his Mum. Click: Amazing Grace. Everyone needs their Mum at a time like this!

So we took our little one out of school late May/early June for this family emergency and visited relatives in Europe. Aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, Godchildren, close friends, everyone we could see within 2 weeks.

Phillip’s mother was overjoyed! Her 89th birthday was in June and she said seeing her son was the best gift ever!

Naturally, everyone we saw wanted to know how treatments were going. We could not rehash the details over and over. Not only is it draining for us but we didn’t want these conversations to overwhelm or frighten our youngest. Most of the time, we can shield her from it but when you’re traveling from home to home – or pub to pub, as is the case in England – folks want to catch up and we’re very sensitive to little ears in range.

Plus, we have striven to reclaim normalcy in the household & beyond for our family. Playing with friends & doing cool things was a mainstay.

      And Legoland was awesome but laying on the grass topped all!! Why? Because there are no ticks or pesticides for ticks at all where Grandma lives and Darling was so happy!! It’s the little things, isn’t it?

 While staying for an overnight with dear friends about a hundred miles south of Scotland, we ventured with the girls to a nearby castle where parts of Harry Potter & Downton Abbey were filmed, click: Castles & Angels

Later, we drove nearly 300 miles south to Oxford to visit the university and delve into the history of this beautiful medieval city, click: Oxford 

And because our budding marine biologist, during these 2 weeks, would unfortunately be missing a highly-anticipated field trip to the beach to explore the biodiversity of the water’s ecosystem, we wanted to do something special for her and booked her for Seatrek at what’s known as Europe’s 1st Seabed Walk: SeaTrek

Her 5th grade teacher kindly allowed our daughter to give a full presentation to her class on the 3 adventures above & what made each so special.

And speaking of 5th grade, the Friday we left for the airport was the same day her class was split into just girls/just boys earlier that morning for “The Talk.” You know the one. Menstruation, growing bodies…

But unlike the lecture we had in school when I was that age – along with a cartoon movie with dancing flowers depicting our blossoming into young ladies – this talk was not only about girl stuff…but boy stuff, too! Would be shocking, but the school explained that with the advent of the Internet, kids see much more than we did at this age and need to know more material to educate and protect themselves.

Humm… Still found it shocking. But it certainly made for fits of laughter – of which we need much of these days – and especially with a silly 5th grader! as we passed by unassuming pubs like the Dandy Cock, or were served Nobby Nuts (salted peanuts) or when we read Spotted Dick on the menu – a British sponge pudding made with raisins & served with custard – but I mean, seriously, come on!

 

When we all revived in the car from laughing so hard, we arrived at one of Phillip’s oldest friend’s for a lovely meal. No, not at the Dandy Cock. We walked over buttercup-covered hills and along lakes & clifftops.

 

 

The Bright Spot – finding the hilarious things in life out of the simplest moments! And appreciating the glorious countryside with our loved ones.

 

 

 

 

Questy

Following the market crash & recession, we lost everything. Our cars, jewelry, livelihoods, even a 4^th miscarriage. It was a time of great loss. 

To say it was a bleak period is an understatement.

Even our award-winning vintage Adenauer, in the family for over 30 years, was shipped back to Europe as our hearts sunk.

 

We ended up with real clunkers & a car with water damage just to get around. THE very 1^st step to rebuilding our lives was the arrival of this magnificent surprise – rolling in sleek & gleaming…and best of all – smelling clean!! She wasn’t new but she was mine – shiny & safe for the kids!  See 1-minute video below:

A polished Nissan Quest that could hold 6 kids on trips to the beach, playground, anywhere. I was in Heaven! And how perfect – Quest – by definition, a journey, trip or expedition.

Very soon after her arrival, she earned her name Questy from the kids and referral by the feminine pronoun “she” like a ship. After all, she is like a rocket ship, spaceship, voyager. Even her navigation symbol looks like the red Rocket from Little Einsteins, a big hit when the kids were pintsized. A gliding tinted mini spaceship on wheels.

I was super thrilled & still am these 200,000 miles. From toddlers to teens, we’ve had the best of times cruising around to wonderful places. A memory-making kid mobile filled with music, movies, laughter, kittens, puppies & dollies. Perfect for luxurious travel with adults or sparkling with the happy vivacity of kids. 

     

   

  

   

  

                   And on occasion, Batman ditches the Batmobile to cruise in Questy who comfortably accommodates his signature cowl with the pointy ears!

Questy came with 5 sunroofs, 2 TVs, an awesome sound & DVD entertainment system, drilled performance rotors, run-flat tires, Bluetooth, comfy 2^nd row leather captain’s chairs and 65 other amazing features that would bore you if I listed them. You can look them up online.  

Oh, seriously, how could anyone be this excited about a minivan? Well, I was because there’s so much more to the back story but that’s for another time.

Ultimately, she’s trustworthy, reliable, great in the snow, with a super-sized, mega-view windshield, just an amazing vehicle all around with her airy cabin, polka dot rear cameras & rounded design, nothing boxy like a regular van. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And believe me, I know what I love in a vehicle! I’ve enjoyed wonderful cars throughout the years ~ my 1^st car at 16, a new Camaro Z-28 in sparkly midnight blue with a t-top & the coolest silver seats. Then my 1^st stick-shift 2-seater, a zippy MR2, followed by Mercedes’ in white, slate grey, black, ivory, green, maroon, champagne and even matching silver, BMW & Bentley Mulsanne. Questy floats like the Mulsanne.

      

 

And the lovely painted license plate, a gift from the Mayor of Wolcott, during my year: http://www.theletstalkmom.com/missconnecticut/ 

 

  People often ask how do I keep her so clean? It’s pretty easy really; I just ask the kids any time they leave the car to grab an item on the way out. And for wet skiis, sandy beach suits, muddy gear, I line the back with a large thin plastic party table cloth from the dollar store. A $1 covering in a pretty color, perfect. I keep a supply in the trunk.

And for Mother’s Day, I know a lot of women who might prefer Springtime flowers or a lovely luncheon. But my husband had something custom made for Questy – these gorgeous honeycomb mats ~ and I love them!!

 

The mats cover every part of the vehicle wall to wall, back to front. Love!! Perfect for this floating Goddess of the Road! Every inch of comfort is a necessity when you sit in the car as much as I do…nearly 200,000 miles…most of it waiting for kids to finish up school or heading to piano, track, ballet, summer camps, tennis, swimming, beaches & playdates and, with our youngest, countless hours back & forth to NYC for her career.

Questy is a rolling office, a spacious mobile command center loaded with every convenience from hot spots & Netflix to laptops, Smartphones, chromebooks, backrest Ipad holders, charging stations, you name it, she’s got it. The kids have been enjoying the space & amenities for years. Here are some pics of our daughter from 1st Grade, 4th Grade, and 6th – 8th Grades using these long commutes to complete homework & even write an award-winning novella. And, of course, Skyping with friends. I love the photo with the Intrepid in the window. In the night photo, she’s taking a class with a teacher via Facetime!!!

     

  

         

Um, yeah, that’s a ship surrounded by wild kraken in her hair ~ a cool October photoshoot with the amazing creative team of The New York Times.

With her many skylights, Questy is always bright & cheery even on rainy days.

I snapped these beautiful raindrops recently. They don’t even look real!!

If I won the lottery, I would have the entire engine & undercarriage made brand new so her odometer read “1.” I would also buy a new driver’s seat because 6 years ago I watched a <<mechanic swing out of the front seat breaking the frame but he wouldn’t fix it. I’ve been sitting on an uneven cushion & backrest for years. It makes my back ache and my hips & spine feel crooked now but apparently a motorized seat for that car with installation is about $3,000 give or take and when you’re coming out of a recession, you just tuck a big, thick piece of fabric under your backside & keep rolling.

There’s always a Bright Spot – the silver lining – I left that guy that day and that’s when I found the Service Department at Nissan City of Port Chester, New York and am so very happy!!

Don, John & Thalita take very good care of Questy and me. Vasco and Brian make sure every detail is covered so she’s running smoothly.

Ozzie, the owner of Nissan City of Port Chester, is simply marvelous and helpful and we are so fortunate to have found this golden dealership & service department!

And that keeps this Nissan-driving Mama happy!

Next Page »