A Foundation for Happy Siblings

People often ask me how at 13 years apart our children are so close, so bonded, so happy as siblings, so thoughtful with one another.

From the moment we told our 8^th grade son I was pregnant, we made his comfort level & happiness our #1 priority.

I told him he would be her Superhero Big Brother! I also pointed out that the 

benefit of the huge age gap was that there would be no sibling rivalry ever – she would never want his big teen guy stuff & he would never want her tea sets and Barbies. It was just easy from the very beginning.

I also put him in charge of the baby shower gift registry. Phillip showed him how to use the zapper in the baby section at Toys R Us. He took great pride in our confidence of his decision-making as he compared & contrasted each item. We also let him zap a few goodies for himself so he felt extra special, too!

The baby shower was a big party not just for ladies – we had family, friends…girls, guys, kids. We three opened the packages later that evening. Phillip read the cards, I wrote the list of names & we had our son open the packages. It was exciting because every present was so beautiful and HE chose each item himself. When he found a bonus package here and there for 

himself, it was like a birthday or holiday. We made that shower so fun for him.

The following day, he & Dad built the crib, changing table, bassinet, play sets & anything else that needed assembling. Our son felt accomplished & connected!

On the day of her birth, he waited with my Doula, opening a surprise gift from his soon-arriving baby sister. He spent the time reading the instructions for his new IPod & testing all the cool features! What a sister!

When he first held the baby, he noted how tiny & delicate she was. He was in awe.

The Bright Spot – Our son has lived up to his incredibly important role as Superhero Big Brother! He was there for each milestone & helped teach her how to walk, go down a slide, tie her shoes & zip her coat. He saw her 1^st missing tooth, took her on her 1^st sleigh ride and taught her how to ride her bike. For every 1^st, her Superhero Big Brother was there!

For a monumental event in our family’s life, click this link: BHUp   

Click here for The Making of a Superhero: Superhero Big Brother

Ziplining at Niagara!

Ready for some excitement, I got up one morning & proclaimed, “Pack some clothes, we’re driving to Canada!”

Truly, one of the most marvelous spur-of-the-moment trips ever ~ complete with sunny skies & 80 degrees!! We spent a supremely-packed 46 hours at Niagara Falls!

Night arrival in Ontario, Canada to the powerful glacial phenomena at Horseshoe Falls & the American Falls in all their glory in ever-changing brilliant colors!

 

 

We grabbed ponchos and headed to the water’s edge straightaway!

 

 

We enjoyed a gorgeous suite with center views of Horseshoe Falls at the Embassy Suites – pure magnificence outside our 10^th floor window!!

And look at the morning mist below & the stunningly beautiful vista at breakfast!

  

That’s our hotel & the incline trolley to the Falls! And can you see the small red boat on the left-hand side?? That’s the Hornblower with a passenger capacity of 700! Yeah, that’s how huge these Falls are – hard to capture in a pic! The Hornblower has been in operation for 170 years and, in 2016, carried 2.2 Million people that year!!

We spent the day at Marineland where our daughter enjoyed the 450’ tower drop – height of a 45-story skyscraper – and rode it 3 times with great joy. Then she went on Dragon Mountain, the world’s largest steel roller coaster covering more than 30 acres. Plenty more rides followed by a visit to the beluga aquariums – one for the males, one with 34 young belugas and one maternity pool for pregnant belugas! Our marine-loving 14-year-old fed and caressed a beautiful female whale with continued appreciation for these amazing animals (click: Sea Trek or Dolphin Trainer or Harmony & Magic)

This was followed by a most striking sight – the rainbow over Horseshoe Falls!! A rainbow appears every day as the sun sets and hits the mist. We then watched the Niagara Fury movie protected by ponchos in this full-immersion film – covering us with snow, water, wind and a moving floor! We topped off that first day with an unnerving walk through the deep tunnels of Niagara, actually journeying BEHIND the thundering falls!!!!

 

 

Tunnels built in the 1800s, the massive force of the clear waters roaring overhead and all around made me glad when I was back above ground! 

 The following day, we traversed the Maze of Mirrors & then enjoyed lunch at the famed Rainforest Café where our daughter said she enjoyed the world’s largest steel roller coaster & mega tower drop but she needed something “more thrilling.”  We asked her what she had in mind. Ziplining at the Falls! Oh, of course. So after lunch, our daughter found herself 220 feet above the Niagara River Gorge alongside her father because I sure as heck wasn’t doing it!!

They traveled 2,200 feet at speeds of 70+kph along the breathtaking vista of the American Falls to the outer rim of Horseshoe Falls!! An experience of a lifetime was how they both described it!             A bucket-list moment – volume up! to enjoy this quick video:

I loved the beauty, visitors, rainbows, wineries ~ Niagara Falls, Ontario is a must-see!

    

Love locks on Lock Bridge, Canada – photo taken by my love, Phillip.

We topped off the late afternoon with Dairy Queen and said goodbye to Ontario, Canada as we headed 3 hours south to the Benn Conger Inn, a gorgeous Colonial built in 1921 for State Senator Conger in Tompkins County, New York & the Skaneateles Lake region.

Click here now for those beautiful photos & experience: Skaneateles 

The Bright Spot – Bucket list moments. Enough said.

Skaneateles

After ziplining at Niagara Falls (click here for video: Niagara), we said goodbye to Ontario, Canada & headed 3 hours south to the Benn Conger Inn, a gorgeous Colonial built in 1921 for State Senator Conger in Tompkins County, New York, winery country.

Owners Peter Zon & Douglas Yurubi greeted us warmly upon our arrival after 9:30pm with local wine for Phillip and a cozy place for us to eat a late dinner. The stories we shared, the majesty of the house & their divine breakfast made for a memorable stay & wishes for an expeditious return! 

 

Peter & Doug organized a lovely boat trip on the Skaneateles River in Onondaga County, a rural community in the Finger Lakes Region. Skaneateles is an Iroquois term meaning “long lake,” 16 miles long, 315’ deep!

The captain’s tour of spectacular mansions and their prestigious owners captivated us all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Afterwards, we toured the historic Sherwood Inn, circa 1800, followed by a hearty dinner at a pub before our daughter purchased exquisite handcrafted art pieces from the enchanting Skaneateles Artisan’s Gallery Under the Old Stone Mill. .

         

(Credits: Skaneateles Artisans Under the Old Stone Mill & Benn Conger Inn)

 

The Bright Spot – The tranquility was revitalizing and seeing the famous portrait of Madame X, Virginie Amélie Avegno Gautreau, in person was delightful!!

Oil on canvas, 1884

 

Below is my brochure & the painting can be see above over the main staircase.

(Credit: The Metropolitan Museum of Art)

Boots in the House!!

Like Boots on the Ground, Boots in the House is what it’s called when your soldier is home!!! Songs like “I’ll be Home for Christmas” were so much more than a pretty tune. After our son’s decision to leave the comforts of home, great job and lovely girlfriend to defend our nation and commit to 6 years active duty (click: BHUp), we were so happy to hear the only time in the year recruits come home during their 10 weeks of basic combat training is for the December holiday season. We were so thankful especially since there was no communication aside from two 27-second calls saying he was there and fine.

Friends & strangers writing to me as a new Army Mom offering support often said he’ll leave a boy & return a man. It’s only been 4 of the 10 weeks and they were right. His stance, carriage, conversation, so confident, so strong. Army Strong! Mind-bogglingly, the Army has already spent $77,000 per recruit the 1^st 4 weeks on weapons, 80 pounds of equipment, supplies, etc.

The 52,000-acre Army Basic Combat Training hub at Fort Jackson, South Carolina with over 100 ranges & 1,160 buildings produces over 60,000 trained, disciplined & physically fit warriors per year!  

Our son left Fort Jackson with 6,824 other soldiers snapping this photo before heading out. He said it was like a sea of green flooding the hallways of the airport.

All the soldiers were given a message in a Coca Cola bottle & a young boy ran into the airport store and bought our son an ornament to thank him for his service. He said the public outpouring of American support was overwhelming and heartwarming. 

He surprised his little sister (click: Superhero) by walking into a coffee shop while she waited for me. I wanted so much to catch the moment but I stayed away or his wish could have been ruined. A neighbor’s grandfather saw it all for us. As this granddad, our son & daughter describe, he walked in the bustling shop and she looked at him for a long moment trying to comprehend what was happening. He looked like her brother, but he was not due. It took a few seconds to realize this buff, clean-shaven fellow with dark-rimmed glasses (Army-issued ballistic lenses!), standing tall before her was her Superhero Big Brother. She burst upright shrieking with delight as she leapt into his arms & they hugged for ages.

He arrived on my husband’s birthday, what a celebration! In a nutshell, here are some things we learned about. He didn’t sleep the 1^st 50 hours & didn’t have time to think of the sleep deprivation as they had the recruits moving constantly through the initiation phase including a 2-sided line of every vaccine imaginable for soldier warfare
warfare readiness including anthrax, typhoid, yellow fever, small pox, etc. 

The soldiers are up every day at 4am for 17 hour days except Sundays. The have 5 minutes to be ready. They have 5 minutes for meals. They learn to shovel down food no matter how hot & run back to training immediately.

Disciplinary Action – if one person does something wrong, that person does not get punished. Everyone else is punished and the person has to stand and watch. Yup, that’s one quick way to get everyone on the same page!! And yes, drill sergeants do yell at the top of their lungs as the rim of their hat hits your forehead.

2 challenging tasks included rappelling down the 50-foot wall & taking off their masks in a gas chamber.

Everyone has been so supportive of our son’s decision. There’s only been one person who balked when she found out. The problem is that he was standing right next to me and was going to leave shortly. He had no idea what he was in store for and she’d known him 10 years. Her reaction gutted me. If she were that anti, she could have told me privately. It was so sad because he was right there. I asked him how he felt when we were in the car. “Don’t worry, Mom. I stand by my commitment to defend this country and its freedoms, and I’d die for her, too. That’s what freedom means.”

Interestingly, visiting a friend’s home with him during this holiday break who is so anti-gun she helps run the campaign on a local level, she greeted him with a hug saying she understands the great sacrifice he’s making for our nation’s defense and introduced him to her grandson saying, “This is a real soldier.” She melted my heart.  

The Army has felt the latest generation of new recruits has often been undisciplined, disrespectful and overweight. A tougher regime of physical training beyond human limits meant to prepare for any combat situation has been implemented to ensure our American soldiers remain the strongest in the world.

• By Joseph Cranney jcranney@postandcourier.com April 8, 2018
• To cap the 10 weeks of basic training… Army trainees must pass …a final test â€” a simulation of a nighttime invasions staged in the woods of the 52,000-acre base.
• Over 4 days, the course tests recruits on virtually every aspect of their training — including patrols, obstacle courses, hand-to-hand combat and more than 45 miles of marching.
• The course is part of the Army’s response to a call from leadership for tougher, more physically fit soldiers …
• It’s also intended to address the Army’s concern that an emerging generation of trainees grew up with less exercise and are less attuned to discipline.
• The Army calls its new training course The Forge, akin to the final stage of hardening a metal. Like the similarly challenging Crucible for Marines, completing The Forge is now a prerequisite to becoming a soldier.
• Trainees leave their barracks at midnight and return after 96 hours of missions with light rest. They sleep on the ground in the woods…
• Army leaders said it stands to become one of the military’s most grueling tests.

Our son heads back for the final 6 weeks of combat training & The Forge before graduating & taking the walk above as graduate, team member, soldier. Then he’ll head to Virginia for training as a specialized Black Hawk Engineer.

The Bright Spot – He loves his decision & has no regrets.

I miss our son so much! It’s hard for a parent. Even the tree at our CVS looked camouflaged!

God bless you, dear son, as you head into your new future.

And God bless our troops here & abroad.

 

 

 

F-35 Lightning, Blue Angels, Red Arrows!!!!

Turn your volume to 10 & enjoy the supersonic sounds of jet engines roaring to this super-amazing song, LEGEND by THE SCORE!!!! (Copyright Owners: UMG on behalf of Universal Records, Album: Atlas by The Score). Video from our cell phones, one of my all-time videos to edit especially to this fabulous song!! Enlarge & turn it up!!!

We joined 50,000 people over the weekend at the New York International Air Show 2019, Stewart Int’l Airport, New Windsor near West Point for the debut of the $100 Million Mighty F-35 Lightning II Supersonic Fighter Jet, helmet $400,000, 3-mile vertical climb in 3 seconds – YES, A MILE A SECOND!!!!  So heart-poundingly loud – can break the sound barrier!!! The rumble in our bodies as the Lightning II thundered by is indescribable!!!!

Plus, the US Navy’s phenomenal BLUE ANGELS & the Royal Air Force’s RED ARROWS precision aerobatics!!! Red Arrows touring the US after 11 years. And when our new mighty F-35 Lightning II flew with the World War II P-51 Fighter Bomber plane (see end of video above), it was such an unforgettable moment of new technology & old faithfuls, wow!!!!

Royal Air Force Red Arrows ~ 11 pilots, 100+ crew, 5,000 aerobatic performances in 57 countries since launching 1965! Our daughter received all the aviators’ autographs here:

(Credit: Royal Air Force Red Arrows & The Blues)

The entire show was breathtaking!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yes, this pic from our cell phone!) 

 (Credit: US Navy’s Blue Angels logo)(Credit: Royal Air Force Red Arrows banner)

The Bright Spot – A bucket list moment for my dear husband! (Click: Phillip) After 12 hours, we came home & watched TOP GUN ON FULL VOLUME – OF COURSE!!!! Dad’s favorite movie!!!

Our Soldier: 82nd Airborne

20th Anniversary

Happy 20th Anniversary!
These photos are of our weddings in England & America.

They were 4 weeks apart both under a full moon.

In the last group of photos, there’s a picture of us today. 

For more on the English wedding, click here: Castles & Vows

Since my beloved father had passed away suddenly the previous year, my husband’s wonderful father walked me down the aisle in England and my father’s best friend, Prince Abdul Ali Seraj, walked me down the aisle in America. My sweet dog, Moussie, with his huge white bow led the way down the aisle!! And I love how Moussie’s standing next to me in the above picture!

For the story on this amazing dog, click here: Moussie

I had wonderful bridesmaids at the English wedding & the American wedding and, of course, the best maid-of-honor, my sister! Most bridesmaids flew back and forth. Look closely and you’ll see my sweet furbaby, Moussie, sitting on the grass with his big white bow in front of the blue dress!!! 

Then & now….photo from today. *Poof* ~ 20 years flew by!

I had my bouquet designed after my mother’s bouquet. I’ve gazed upon my mother’s wedding portrait since I was a baby. It was something to love and cherish and admire. She had natural stems and a huge red bow, biggest I’d ever seen. She cradled the bouquet in one arm. I brought a copy of her portrait to the florists in England & the States for both weddings.

                  

The Bright Spot – Love. I love how my mother looks at my father devotedly. She adored him. He was her one and only and she’s lived these 21 years alone since he died but she keeps his memory alive always talking about him when we’re together. It’s sad and beautiful at the same time.

My husband and I have been through a lot these 20 years. Of course, I appreciate all the blessings of our wonderful family, especially my children, and the life Phillip and I have created together. 

But there have been many tragedies – 5 miscarriages, Phillip’s aggressive Stage 4 cancer (click: The Good, The Bad & The Spicy), loss of our company in the deep recession, other complete miseries throughout the years, and now the weird lightning bolt that took out our well pump the day before our 20th Anniversary costing us $3,700 wiping out our summer vacation fund for the vital rest Phillip needed since he missed vacation last year because of more cancer treatments.

So you can imagine how thoroughly touched I was when a friend through Facebook whom I’ve never met but mutually feel kinship toward for an assortment of reasons including the fact that she loves animals and is just simply amazingly kind, wrote this: 

Wow! Truly, Liz captured the essence of these two decades. Thank you, Liz, for your kindness toward us, animals and all whom you serve.

Oxford

During our 2-week stay in Europe, we visited the medieval city of Oxford, coined the “City of Dreaming Spires” by poet Matthew Arnold.

Our 11-year-old daughter & I just finished the 7 books by C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia, & the epic trilogy, His Dark Materials, by Philip Pullman, both alumni of Oxford University, the oldest university in the English-speaking world, established 1096.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What was completely remarkable was that there was only 1 parking spot available in this bustling college town when we arrived and it just so happened to be in front of the Eagle & Child pub – we were hungry, but we didn’t know how significant the place was until we walked in!!

Built in 1650, this favorite watering hole was frequented by Lewis, Pullman, J.R.R. Tolkien and other members of “The Inklings,” the famous literary group!

So, of course, that’s where we had lunch!

Seriously, out of the whole city, what’s the chance of finding that one parking spot!

 

 

Our daughter, a published author & speaker by age 8 and now a prolific writer working on her 1st novel, felt the wall behind where we sat and breathed, “I’m touching history.”

Couldn’t be more perfect!

 

 

 

She ogled the Harry Potter Golden Egg in one of the store windows but opted for the snitch.

 

 

 

Before leaving historic Oxford, we stopped for tea & scones and some lovely smoked salmon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Bright Spot – Being surrounded by spirituality, architectural magnificence & educational brilliance, it was nourishing for our well-being at this most challenging time: Kicking Cancer

My Caped Crusader

Whether my dear husband is busy

at Gotham City’s Sherry-Netherland’s Doubles on 5th Ave sweeping ladies off their feet…

                                              

or me off mine…   

… giving speeches 

or playing Cricket…

 chillin’ or racing 

giving sweet baby kisses

             

and super Daddy hugs…

 

   

  

 

 …corporate by weekday and

Hearth Warrior by weekend

  

(God, I love those legs!)

…and whether he’s playing peacefully or keeping the peace,

 

up in the sky or under water,

   

dressed up…

         

dressed down, OR…

     

barely dressed…

  

Phillip is funny and

 

  

great fun to be around.

    

A wonderful father,

  

an animal lover and protector,

  

a loving husband and great friend to all who know him, I am proud to be his wife, his lifelong partner, his other half.

   

I’m also proud to work together as co-hosts on our Live radio show, “Let’s Talk!” about Life, Love and Parenting archived on this site after each show for your listening convenience.

 

The Bright Spot  – I could not think of a better person to take this life journey with! Take a moment to think of all the reasons you love your special someone and go give that person a big kiss! I’ve just finished this story and am looking for my Batman, my Caped Crusader, my darling to give him a big smooch!  😉 b

The 1-Eyed Teddy Bear

The point of this story need not identify of the owner of the 1-eyed teddy bear, but rather WHO this fellow is made all the difference in saving our son’s cuddly animals.

The man actually cannot be identified because he is a secret agent on a very significant level. He is close to our family and we all adore him but we keep conversation limited to family stuff, old friends, or school happenings. He signs his holiday envelopes as James Bond. It’s all very cool in a surreptitious kind of way, the “secret” in secret agent makes it sound so hush-hush, and the undercover missions we are never allowed to know about are wrapped in clandestine mystery. All very exciting, so what does this have to do with stuffed animals? 

Our eldest is a strapping 24-year-old dude with beer posters in his room and a steady girlfriend at the helm.

Rewind about 14 years and here was a kid with a ton of stuffed animals, some from babyhood, others won at the amusement park, many from the big glass box with the grabber handle thingie at the diner. An admirer of big cats, one of his favorite was a huge white tiger with sharp blue eyes.

For a long time, my husband felt our son needed to unload his cuddly animals. I’d protest seeing the quiet sadness in our child’s eyes. The subject came up at significant milestones, like award ceremonies, moving from elementary to middle school, etc. I understood my husband’s point of view: he wanted to make our son grow up, be a man, get tough. I understood my son’s point of view: at that time he was still an only child and he wasn’t ready.

Then one year we visited Washington, D.C. and James Bond invited us to stay in his home. He was away, as usual, and he couldn’t say where he was, except that he would leave the key for us under the mat. Under the mat?!? He lives with all this enigmatic secrecy but leaves the house key under the mat!

It was very exciting to walk around his home. Medals, awards, Christmas cards from the presidents over the last 20 years, and as we walked upstairs to pick out our rooms for the night, there, in the middle of the master bedroom, sitting proudly atop the big bed, was a 1-eyed Steiff teddy bear with a worn nose, an untied yellow bow & fur so loved-off and cuddled, it was a treasure to behold.

It was also ammunition to ward off any more attempts to clear out stuffed animals from our son’s room. “If James Bond can keep his teddy bear, so can I!” 

So that was that. More than a decade’s passed and on his own, our son has donated his stuffed animals along the way – but that’s the important part of this story – it was on his terms, his timing and his choice of where they went. The huge white tiger is now the centerpiece & reading buddy in a fantastic enrichment school.
I never take anything from my children without asking them. Together we donate what they choose to give up when they choose to. It teaches them to let go, to give to others and to stay organized. (Little One sorting>>)

There is a marvelous organization called YoungLives which helps teenage mothers. Every 3rd Wednesday, the young mothers meet at a church in Norwalk, CT to learn about God and their children, plus, they can choose items they need that people have donated.

When our daughter was ready to donate her toys or princess dresses, etc., we would bring them to the church and she would see firsthand the children light up with joy as they picked out what they would like. She saw a little     2-year-old boy dive into her Elmo chair exclaiming, “That’s mine, I love this chair!” And little girls picking out sparkly dresses. Or Barbies. Or unicorns.

The children were happy and it made our child well up with joy to see the kids’ faces light up while new life was instantly breathed into her cherished pieces. It deeply linked giving to pleasure. You can check out organizations in your area like YoungLives, Birthright, Hopeline or any organization that benefits a cause you believe in. We’ve also donated her crib, baby furniture and Pack-n-Plays.

Our daughter has given up lots of her cuddly animals, even packing & sending many huge boxes to Africa.

The Bright SpotTM  – The exciting thing about the missionary we shipped her stuffed animals to is that they sent back photos of orphan children cuddling her animals! A fine day, indeed. Again, on our children’s terms while reinforcing a life skill of giving as a pleasure.

 

Whimsy & Reverie ~ Fairies Delight

 

 

Our darling last year at the renowned     New York Renaissance Faire (left).

 

 

 

 

 

 

For this year’s faire, she knew exactly what she was looking for in a gown…

 

For over 38 years, fairies & fellows, princesses & knights alike have gathered throughout 65 acres of Sterling Forest, Tuxedo, NY to celebrate the Elizabethan era at the Renaissance Faire!

 

 

 

We

 

 

 

 

 

We went again this year with family & friends. Our 10-year-old told us this is her favorite summer tradition, now several years running.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From dragon rides…

…to cuddling baby dragons, there’s an adventure around every corner.

 

If you love acrobats & magic, sword fights & jousting, this is definitely the place for you.

With 20 stages and over 100 shops, there is something for everyone, young or seasoned.

 

 

Our Darling played the flute for the Woodland Fairy, the Acorn Fairy, the harpist and the Queen.

 

 

Armor and headdress for every age…

   
  

…thundering horses and overflowing … overflowing…well, simply overflowing…!!!…

 …overflowing attractions from wenches serving mead!

    

 

   

The Bright Spot – For swashbuckling pirates, jousting, boating on the lake or dancing around the Maypole, be sure to visit a Renaissance Faire near you, so magical, indeed!

I’m looking forward to seeing what our Darling picks out for her dress next year.

 

 

 

 

Sweet Acorn Fairy kisses farewell till then…

An Excellent Santa

This is part of the memorial engraved at my beloved Father’s resting site.

We miss you, Daddy!

You will best be remembered as a family man, kind-hearted, determined, giving, vibrant, proud, fearless, dynamic, a visionary, and entrepreneur. A loving husband, a true patriot, a mentor & motivator.

An amazing storyteller, an excellent Santa, a funny Daddy & math genius. 

You were charismatic, creative, incredible and tough but fair.

 But most of all you were larger than life! 

God needed you and we thank Him for making you our Daddy!

To read all about my father’s story & see one of my *favorite pictorials*, click here:http://theletstalkmom.com/tea-talk-momversations/daddy/

The Bright SpotTM  - Thanks for being such an excellent Santa, a man with great imagination, showing us fun sledding, skiing, boating, horseback riding, skating, bike riding, showing us how to work hard & spending time just chilling out with us, reading to us all the time, and most of all for just being such an amazing Daddy. My heart misses you so so much!! Love, me

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