Busy Moms, Fluff Your Super Capes!

Many of our parenting shows leave me feeling profoundly grateful – visits by WishKids from the Make-a-Wish Foundation or interviews with the volunteers of orphaned children in hosting programs. Some shows make me feel enlightened by our expert guests on the subjects of hypnobirthing, equine-assisted therapy for children, boomerang kids, and conscious parenting.

After more than 400 interviews during our 15 seasons on-air, I can honestly say I get in the car on the way home from the radio station with a mix of emotions and I hope that our program affects our listeners the same way (after airing, the “Let’s Talk!” shows are archived on this site).

One guest, in particular, struck a chord with me. Busy working mom of three, Julie Zeff, MSW, CPCC, author of Vivid Living for Busy Moms: Coach Yourself to an Extraordinary Life, uses yoga and sensations in the body in her work as a life coach for the past 14 years. According to Julie, “she teaches her clients to access the wisdom of their body and mind to help them transform their lives.” She teaches about heart truths and ogres. Heart truths – what you truly desire; ogres – negativity replaying in your mind/burdens/negative patterns or should have’s/would have’s/must do’s!

Everyone knows what it’s like to feel the burden of the should have’s and must do’s, but Julie says everything is a choice. We either deal with those things with positive energy or a burden of responsibility. What you truly and absolutely love or wish to do is your heart truth. Your body knows it, your gut feels it, and yet so many of us, particularly the busy moms I know, stuff away what we really wish we could do in lieu of everything else we think we have to do.

So when I left the show the day of Julie’s interview, I listened to my body and felt the regular sensations of the day-to-day responsibilities I needed to get done: household tasks, family & school obligations, you know the drill.

But Julie suggested our listeners think about what they really love to do and then feel the difference in the body. I love to write. And when I thought about it, it made my heart beat a little faster and swell with joy. And yet it’s usually the first thing that I put on the back burner as I greet each day and my tidy list of things to do. I wanted my “Mom Super Cape” to soar ever higher; it was starting to feel dampened by mortgages & meetings, lighting bills & laundry. It needed airing & fluffing!

So I decided for my own personal growth it would be wise to spend time with Julie off air and see how her guidance and expertise would lead me to a continued vivid and extraordinary life – just on a higher level.

From Julie’s website: “Live a balanced, present, and passionate life on your terms at work, with your family and with friends. 

• Know who you are at your core 
• Uncover your life purpose
• Leap over self-sabotaging tangles
• Trust the unique wisdom of your body 
• See clearly where your life is in or out of balance
• Bring on the “me time”
• Know what to do to transform your life into one you love

The Bright SpotTM  – Julie spent an hour and a half with me and can with you, too, her details are below. When I hung up the phone with her, I felt such a renewed sense of excitement that I started working on a chapter of a manuscript I shelved a while back. Because there lies my heart truth for work & having spent time this morning with Julie, I know it is time for that book to come to fruition.

Julie Zeff, MSW, CPCC, www.vividliving.net, julie@vividliving.net
Helping stressed/tired moms live vivid lives they love!
FREE Report Top 10 Tips to Vivid Living at: http://www.vividliving.net
Vivid Living for Busy Moms: Coach Yourself to an Extraordinary Life – https://www.createspace.com/3581207

Wet Pay

Soaked, but not forgotten, each foot was paid “Wet Pay” for standing in snow for hours.

The thought fondly came to me as I looked out the window now and saw snow on our roof, flurries blowing in the wind. I remembered the April Fool’s Blizzard of ’97 when a Nor’easter blasted through New England dumping nearly 3 feet of heavy snow.   Not many took it seriously because of the April 1st date, but if you lived through it, that storm became definitely one to remember!

Especially for me. I had been cast as an extra in Steven Spielberg’s upcoming film Amistad (DreamWorks SKG), a true story of mutiny and justice in 1839. Filming had just moved from nearby New Haven, Connecticut to Newport, Rhode Island and I was excited to be a part of an epic film starring Djimon Hounsou, Anthony Hopkins, Morgan Freeman & Matthew McConaughey. 

As I packed my car to leave, the snow just started to move in. My Dad said, “What on Earth would make you drive in this blizzard? I cannot understand this entertainment industry pull.” In the words of Ethel Merman, “There’s no people like show people,” honestly, there’s just no explaining us. My father knew I was a determined free spirit, just like him, and when I had a desire, nothing was going to stop me from doing it.

My parents never stopped us from pursuing anything. My travels around the globe on a ship, climbing the Great Wall of China or the pyramids of Egypt, soaking in the romantic history of the Taj Mahal, flying off to Europe a week after graduation for my 1st job, or saying “yes” to my beloved after 4 days in his presence. So really, how’s a blizzard going to stop me??

It didn’t. I hopped in my car and set off for Rhode Island. The 2.5 hour trip took nearly 7 hours.

  

A little slide off the interstate didn’t deter me; 3 cute officers pushed me back on the highway, later requesting an autographed Miss Connecticut photo each (it was on my licence plate).

    

I had 5 hours sleep and reported for wardrobe at 4:30am. Excited and ready to go, after hair & makeup, I found myself standing in snow for hours…with joy! Even the newspaper photo caption under my picture says, “Undaunted.” Yup.

 

  Changing the face of Newport (above)                    (above right)  The photo from the Miss America parade that got me the job with Amistad

Interestingly, the entire earlier part of the movie’s outdoor scenes that had been filmed in previous weeks did so with NO snow. So the outdoor snowy scene that took days to film had to be edited out. But the memories are incredible as are the people I met throughout the experience.

The Bright SpotTM  – Remember, if there’s something you really want to do, nothing can stop you. And just imagine the amazing people you’ll meet!

Reunited After 23 Years

Long before Facebook, Twitter, email, Smartphones & Androids, there was the regular land line.

I made a phone call to my Uncle in London that I was in Lancashire for the summer. “You must come and visit, we’ll pick you up.” He and my Auntie drove 4 hours north to get me. They had 5 girls and the summer was one I’ll never forget!

 

But, eventually, Autumn came and I headed back to the States and into my routine. Days turned into months and months into years. Before I knew it, 23 years had flown by.

In that time, my 5 cousins had married and everyone had moved, even their parents; some to other parts of London, others to California & Florida. 

I was reminiscing one evening about that summer and my son asked why I didn’t get in touch with them.

“How? We lost touch more than 20 years ago.” He asked me their names and worked his Facebook magic. I didn’t use Facebook at the time and was skeptical.

Within 24 hours, one of my cousins who had moved out West responded and we were on the phone for ages!

 

A short while later, our family was reunited in London with 2 of the sisters who had stayed in England. I was just bursting with joy! An event to remember forever!

The Bright SpotTM   –   I am so thankful to my Uncle & Auntie for making that visit one of the most treasured summers of my life. Interestingly, that summer would cause a chain of events that would lead me to my husband more than a decade later. Amazing how our lives are so intertwined then, now and always.

The girls now with their parents & one of my favorites of them when they were little. I love you all, my dear family!! xoxo

(Below) With my Uncle 23 years ago and Uncle’s portrait over my Cousin’s & my shoulder

Undressing for a Cause

Our son came home & announced he’s taking off his clothes and jumping in frigid waters.

What?!?

Freezin’ for a Reason’s Penguin Plunge challenge supports Special Olympics Connecticut.

Participants will strip down to their swim trunks or bathing suits and run into the icy waters of The Sound on March 8th.

This year’s goal is $90,000.

As of this post, $21,000 has been raised.

Every dollar counts and your donation is tax deductible.

If you would like to contribute, please send me a message at Bianca@BiancaTyler.com and I will forward you the direct link to this Special Olympics project.

     
We are very proud of our son. At 19 years old, he was the Captain of his team in the Relay for Life American Cancer Society fundraiser. He and his team walked the full 24-hours through day and night and day again raising thousands.

 

The Bright SpotTM  – Not quite sure how our little boy grew up so fast, time surely flies, but one thing is for sure, we are proud of his dedication to great causes and hope you decide to help as he prepares to take the bitterly cold Penguin Plunge for Special Olympics Connecticut!

Positively Me!

The Positively Me program offered to 3rd grade girls to boost confidence, teach assertiveness & expression, and offer strategies to prevent bullying was positively fantastic!

Offered free by the Junior League of Greenwich, this intensive 2-day event encourages new friendships while the girls develop strength and resilience through skits & role playing, dance, journaling & thoughtful conversations about the painful consequences of bullying.

Why 3rd grade?

Unfortunately, bullying is starting earlier & earlier; it’s a topic Phillip & I have covered often over the past 15 Seasons on our parenting radio show “Let’s Talk!” currently on WGCH, formerly on WSTC & WNLK. (All shows are                           (All shows are archived on this site.)

One of our popular recurrent guests and parenting experts, Dr. Michelle Anthony, experienced something similar with her little 2nd grade daughter. That painful situation prompted her to co-author Little Girls Can Be Mean – 4 Steps to Bully-Proof Girls in the Early Grades.

Positively Me: only 4 sessions per year, 36 girls per session. The program has run for 5 years and waiting lists get longer year after year. It was marvelous to see the girls beaming each evening at pick-up, full of laughter and stories and joy.

They brought home beautiful button bracelets that matched button cards where each color represented something special, drawings/writings/self-portraits in their special journals, t-shirts with signatures of each participant, water bottles, sparkly feather pens, tote bags with the adorable Positively Me logo and mountains of coping skills to nip future snafus in the bud! 

The program taught them to take pride in themselves and their accomplishments; achieve great things; stand up for what they believe in and to be Positively Me!

The girls had a special visit from a martial arts Sensei (master) who had them write their greatest fear on a wooden board and then he taught each girl how to smash through that wood with their bare hands…breaking through their fear. That was a popular activity! Other events included a yoga class, pajama party and crafting dog toys to donate to Adopt-A-Dog.

It is no wonder this program continues to grow and expand.

The Bright SpotTM  – A poem – with permission from our 8-year-old - to share with you written in her Positively Me journal:

STAND STRONG:

LOVE is my Guardian

When Days like Today Get in my Way,

I’ll STAND STRONG!

Journaling during this 2-day event:
Positively Me Snippet 

Reverent & Peaceful

Our 8-year-old was asked to be Mary at Christmas Eve candle light services.

It was such an honor.

An orchestra played and a harpist filled the air with melodic sounds of yesteryear.

   

    
……………. She was so reverent and checked on her baby often during the hour.

   

The children sang like angels and the bell ringers sounded heavenly.

The Bright SpotTM – Everything. Our daughter made us proud. Our family felt blessed. And the Sanctuary was filled with love, light & joy. Merry Christmas!

And to all who celebrate different creeds, let’s enjoy one another’s traditions and learn about the beauty of each other’s beliefs.

28 Christmas Eves Ago

Celebrating Christmas Eve 28 years ago (above) & Christmas Eve 2013 (below) with Elise, one of my very best friends in the world.

Charming, beautiful, smart, a powerhouse in the world of finance, an amazing dressage horsewoman, polo player, horse ranch owner, an entrepreneur, world traveler and devoted friend now and always.

Whether hanging out in California in the 80s or hanging out now on the couch in New England…

Elise is just a wonderful friend to be with.

  Always fun, always creative, always goes the extra mile.

 

     

The Bright SpotTM   -  The Girlfriend Network ~ when you find a friend who is dear and true, honest and there for you, never let him or her go. Love you, my friend! b

Granddad with his Beloved Once More

It was a long 2 years without Grandma but she came calling for Granddad in his dreams this week.

 

 

 

 

 

He      He became deaf, and she turned blind just a few years ago, but they always sat beside one another for 60 years, and when she was gone, he lived in silence beside an empty chair in the den. Click here: Is This The End?

Granddad fell in love with Grandma instantly. She was engaged, but that didn’t deter him. He knew she was his only one and promised to love her till the end of her life. They married and he fulfilled that promise day after day.

He was determined like that. He fibbed about his age to defend his country in World War II saying he was 18 when he was really 16.

He was stationed in France, and worked as a specialist sending morse code messages when his communication’s truck was hit by a mortar and his arm was blown off.

                      A female physician – rare to have a female doctor in the war zone in France at that time – sewed it back on…it functioned perfectly!

     

   

  

Granddad was sharp as a tack with very dry humor. Once, he was in the hospital for a respiratory illness that required a chest x-ray. The doctor came into his room looking shocked. “I don’t know how to tell you this,” he said, “but you only have 1 lung and it appears where your other lung should be is a black mark that could be a tumor.” “Oh, that other lung shriveled up years ago,” Granddad answered matter-of-factly, “forgot to tell you.”

Grandma & Granddad gave our little one Tidmouth Sheds for her train table. I put a photograph of them next to it so she could link that the gift was from them. I do that with many special presents so the kids know from whom it came.

Our daughter said she will never give up her piano from Granddad even if she plans for a grand piano in her future. “It will go somewhere special in my house and I will keep it forever!”

Just as Granddads do, he was the explainer of all things.

 

 

No place was better than on Granddad’s knee…

 

 

                                      …& on his back!

Or hanging out grabbing a drink at the pub.

 

Granddad slowly went deaf in his late years. Soon he could only hear female voices. Later, on the phone, he could only hear mine – high-pitched & loud, I’m told. But then came the day when even my voice was inaudible.

 

 

It was crushing for me because I like family to stay connected especially because we are so far away.

Granddad was 88 years old. He wasn’t on a computer. I immediately printed out this website and Phillip had it bound and we sent these 300 pages of family stories and photos to Granddad in book form so he could read them over time at his leisure and keep up with family news he could no longer hear. 

He was kind and sweet and dear and loving. He will be deeply missed by the family. But he’s in his beloved’s arms once again and that gives us great solace. 

The Bright Spot TM –  We did not lose Granddad, for someone is only lost if their memories aren’t kept alive. We’re a picture-snapping, video-taking, storytelling family, so Granddad lives on. Thank you for sharing his story.

It Would Be Our Honor

I answered my cell on a sunny Friday while I was upstate with the kids. “I’m going to marry my sweetheart on Tuesday,” said the voice. “I was wondering if you & your family would come and represent my family since I’m alone here.”

Incredibly touched, I said it would be our honor! And with that, we attended a beautiful wedding         4 days later. Our friend was from Haiti and his family could not fly in for the ceremony.

My husband was father-brother-friend all wrapped into one, our daughter was a flower girl & I took delight in capturing memories on film.

Our friend was marrying into a loving, close-knit family.

      

His bride was stunning.

 

His in-laws were welcoming & kind. And we were moved by the warmth & joy that surrounded all of us this beautiful August afternoon. May we all be so blessed to have such an affectionate family.

       

    

The Bright SpotTM  - Blessings to you, our friend, and your radiant wife. Peace on your journey of life together. See update 2015 below 🙂 b~xoxo

It’s been a few years & look who’s arrived! The sweetest, darling little baby boy for this wonderful couple. Love those eyes, love those cheeks!

 

My Mom

Thrown off a Connecticut beach for wearing a bikini, my Mom still rolls her eyes at that story & declares the beach keeper a crazy man.

Coming from a country where they play volleyball topless on the beach, they were lucky she even wore the bikini!

My parents met one evening at a beach club & married 2 1/2 months later. So it was no shock when I announced I was getting married after 4 days. “You know when you know,” she said. Phillip & I married after only spending 46 days in each other’s company and she was right.

Mom loves to garden, paint, decorate & read, read, read! She’s like a walking encyclopedia.

She’s an incredible photographer, interior designer, writer & artist. I love her drawings, portrait paintings, and my favorite, this ceramic chess set she painted nearly 40 years ago.

Mom’s a fantastic cook and prepared wonderful, healthy meals for me the entire 9 months I was pregnant!! She made sure I had the best foods when I was a baby and did the same for my kids.

            

Mom & me 1960s                         Little Petal & me 40 years later
                         and, of course, she gave me my 1st chocolates & Easter goodies…yum!

**********************************************************************************************************************

Folks who’ve met my Mom totally love her. She’s funny, talks straight and is the life of the party. She smokes, drinks, swears and gambles. She doesn’t apologize for any of it. She lives life to the fullest beating to her own drum.

   
           

 

 

When she lost my father 15 years ago, it devastated her. Their love and building a life together for their children was unsurpassed. They were a team in everything they did.

                       

    

    

   

My Mom’s parents absolutely adored her.

 

 

Those were some smoochable cheeks!!

      

                                                             

                    My mother grew up on the water (the Baltic Sea and with Aunties & her Mom above at their beach guest house in Pommern) and could out row anyone. When she was young, she liked to ice skate, bike, dance and travel.

                    And she always loved animals!

Mom was always very close with her parents, as were we all.

 

My mother & father taught me I could be anything I wanted to be. They supported my achievements in school, my activities,      my music, my whims & fancies, my travels, my moves around the country for my career, and my exciting year as Miss Connecticut & all the wonderful memories of representing my native state at the Miss America…
    
…including helping me pack trunks & boxes & shoes and shoes and shoes for the 2 weeks in Atlantic City for Miss America.

My Mom traveled with me to Vancouver to put me on a ship that circumnavigated the globe for 4 months. 

Mom – who saves everything – threw away my clothes after a week’s caving trip…they were really dirty for her to have thrown them out!

We traveled around Spain, Gibraltar, Barbados & Germany together & tons of other places.                   (left with my sister)

Years later, Mom drove with my dog & me across the country & decorated a house I found for cheap…really cheap…only to find out it was a former drug depot…so I left the house a short while later along with all the painting, bordering, curtain-hanging and decorating she had done day & night the week she dropped me off for my new job.

           
Mom sewed countless costumes (above) for me and for my sister & my sister’s students.

       
Mom (her passport pic)                            me (headshot taken by Mom)

She took photographs of my wedding in England when the photographer there slacked off and almost ruined the day. Phillip gave him an earful and my mother took the photographs and she and my sister created a surprise wedding album for me when I returned from England.

My mother also saved hundreds of newspaper clippings, magazine articles and memorabilia from my Miss Connecticut year and painstakingly glued them into several beautiful scrapbooks to cherish always. She did it for a year and I never even knew it. Another wonderful surprise. You can view some of the clippings here: Miss CT in the News.

She’s always there to goof around  and she’s there for all the tears like when we just lost my Uncle recently. He is with Daddy now.  🙁  🙁

                                                                                                     (pregnant with my sister)

Mom has always been great at photography and even gave me her precious long-lens Canon in the 80s on the ship trip. A treasured item, so I was, indeed, very grateful.

She’s developed her own photography and taken headshots for actors & personalities over the years. Definitely helped save a bundle on my own headshots for TV over the years! Here are some snaps from Mom:

                        

Thanks, Mom, for making my life great growing up. Thanks for all you have done for me. I love you!

In tribute to her, I hope I captured my mother’s life in this pictorial. Please say a prayer for her. She had heart fibrillations recently and was rushed to the hospital. It’s been constant testing every day.

Seeing her weak & tired is unnerving. Fragile is not a word I would ever use to describe my mother. Sweet but tough, robust & resilient, soft-hearted but strong-willed.

My mother prides herself on honesty and has never lied a day in her life. She is someone you can trust. She loves her daughters, grandchildren and animals. And we all love her.

The Bright SpotTM  – I believe in the power of prayer. Please pray.

 

Little Notes~~~Lasting Memories

                                                    Daddy left me this note decades ago.

  Phillip left this surprise note for our little one yesterday before he headed away for a business trip.

Small gestures, time well spent together, little notes…they all go a long way.

   

                                      These notes mean something when we find them.                                               They mean a whole lot more when we lose those we love so dearly.

 Daddy, I miss you!!!!   

                                  I see so much of my father’s tenderness & care in my husband.                            I don’t take any of these moments for granted.

                    

The Bright SpotTM  – Write your kids a little note today. It may be something they cherish for the next 40 years.

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