Airlifted St. Patty`s Day!

Today the world celebrates St. Patrick’s Day. I love the festivities, I love being in parades, I love Ireland having studied at Trinity College in Dublin, and I love that even though I’m not Irish, everyone can be Irish for the day. But there is a special reason for a few of us to celebrate: 7 years ago today our son helped save the life of his schoolmate. They were 14 years old.

It had snowed a few days earlier and a bunch of boys went sledding at school. But part of the steep hill had iced over during the night. His friend’s sled flew across the ice and he lost control slamming his head into a brick wall.

The boys didn’t want to get into trouble at school and panicked. They thought it best to get their buddy inside without telling anyone. Our son stood up and said no. He ordered one kid to run and get adult help. He told another to call 911. He ripped off his coat and wrapped it around his friend who was in shock. He told the rest of the boys to not move him at all. His friend received a plate & 37 metal staples in his head. The doctors at the hospital where he was airlifted said had he been moved, he would have died. The immediate actions to get help, warmth and stay calm saved his life.

Our son had learned emergency care in Scouts. He knew it was right to risk reprimand from the school administrators rather than risk someone’s life.

The Bright SpotTM – Both boys are 21 now. We are so proud of them ~ fine young boys grown into fine young men.

More about our son: http://www.theletstalkmom.com/tea-talk-momversations/the-making-of-a-superhero/
Credit: Associated Press

I Am Here For You

It’s no secret children need their parents’ attention. Unconditional love, devotion, affection, warmth, trust, mutual respect and communication. Put down your handheld and be present when you’re with your kids. Nothing makes me sadder than to see a child at a playground looking longingly at his parent texting hoping the adult will play with him soon. They know you’re really not present. Or when a child bounds out of school with a look of excitement bursting to tell his parent about his day and he’s greeted with an obligatory wave while still looking down texting. How long do you think that excitement is going to last? How long do you think the communication lines will stay open? It can be forever if you always give your child the message “I’m here for you, I’m present.”

 Our son so long ago & today,

nothing’s more comforting than just being there…  

           

Hanging out or hanging in…

     

             

        

     

And our little one…

        

  

     

   

     

Teens are notorious for keeping to themselves, mumbling when spoken to, hanging out in their room rather than the den, etc., you know the drill if you have a teen. But if they have that secure feeling that you will give them 100% of your attention when they do open up about their world, their happenings, their loves and their heartaches, what a lucky parent you are! Drop everything and lend your ear and your heart. I never felt my parents didn’t hear me. They not only heard, they listened.

There’s a large, soft, pale green armchair next to my desk. I love when our son slumps into the chair, tossing his legs over the armrest ready to confide in me. Of course, it’s usually when I’m working or on a deadline, but nothing swells my heart more than knowing I’m the one who he chose to speak to at that very moment. I’ll stop anything I’m doing, swivel my chair in his direction and look into his deep, thoughtful eyes.

The Bright SpotTM  – The great communicator in my life taught me this line of communication can stay open through all stages of my life and I can pass that gift on to my children. So can you. Click here http://theletstalkmom.com/tea-talk-momversations/daddy/ to read the special Bright SpotTM of that story to see what I mean - the message in that Bright SpotTM is important for ALL parents. So important it’s bold & underlined. It’s a lesson for us all in this modern world!

After you have taken a look at the link in the above paragraph, please read the quote below from the Dalai Lama about “being present:”

When asked, “What thing about Humanity surprises you the most?” the Dalai Lama answered: “Man…because he sacrifices health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future. He lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” – Dalai Lama XIV

Be in a “present” state of mind when you are with your children. They will grow and leave before you know it. And when you are old, what greater gift than for them to be in a “present” state of mind when spending time with you.

You will be leaning on them one day.   xo~b

Live & Let Love

I was finishing up a really great day trip with my daughter & one of her closest friends. The girls met more than 6 years ago in a baby lapsit music program. The little friend’s grandmother was with us on this particular day and my husband called to see when we would be home.              

“It shouldn’t be more than an hour now,” I said and we each finished with “I love you very much, too.”

The grandmother turned to me when I hung up. “I didn’t mean to listen in but it was really nice to hear you talk like that with your husband.”

To me, it’s just normal. My husband and I are tender & loving in our daily routine. It’s good for us & it’s good for the children. Affection is part of their daily life, and I hope that their partners one day in the far future are just as loving & warm.

I remember advice from some folks when I first married: “Don’t call your husband at work, just let him just do his job.” “Don’t tell your husband you love him all the time, he’ll bore of you.” “And don’t be overly mushy, guys don’t like it.”

But I grew up in a loving home with smoochy parents & grandparents and I went with my gut. To me, men are just as deep as women are and most people, I believe, desire attention, recognition & hugs.

And what I find is that many people wish they had a more loving relationship. Or that they connected more with their spouse.

It’s really not hard. It’s the little things that add up to the wonderful bond between you & your significant other.

A brush past your partner with a soft touch across the shoulders. A little kiss as you pass in the kitchen or while your husband is working late into the evening. I leave him notes in his briefcase, he’s left me notes in the pantry, across my computer screen, in my coat pocket or the bottom of a soup pot!

Arm in arm when you walk, hand holding when you talk, a little text here & a little Google Chat there. It all adds up.  Communication – touch, voice, writing – text or by hand. It all matters.
And nothing beats the kiss! 

 

Don’t think your kids don’t notice. They want that comfort of a loving environment.

Of course, when they’re preteens, a kiss might evoke a look of disgust or even a groan, but in reality, it gives your children quiet inner peace to know their parents are close & loving and, with a divorce rate of nearly half of all marriages nowadays, don’t underestimate the great security it gives them.

So reach out to your partner. Physically & emotionally. And have fun!   

It will not only be super for your relationship, but it will teach your children what a loving family is and what a great partnership looks like.

And the kindness your children experience they will share because they know it as their norm.

   

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – You already know your children model your behavior.

You have the power to mold their framework for a loving marriage and a connected family structure in their future.

 So go on now…smooch the daylights out of your kids and your spouse!  Happy Parenting!™

Which One Are You?

Janet Jackson’s catchy tune “What have you done for me lately?” and John F. Kennedy’s famous quote from his inaugural address, “…ask not what your country can do for you — ask what can you do for your country,” can symbolize your view of a relationship. Where do you fall in your marriage?

For us, we try to do whatever we can to please one another. If I grab a bottle of water for the car or our room for the night, I grab one for Phillip, too. It’s not even a thought, it’s just automatic. And it goes for anything. If he makes a cup of tea, he always makes two. If I can make my husband’s life more comfortable with simple, loving gestures, I do. And vice versa.

Sometimes I’ll warm a towel or his robe in the dryer for him shortly before he steps out of the shower, or I’ll chill a wine glass in the fridge before he comes home from work. These aren’t hard things to do, they don’t take effort, and are so appreciated. My husband sometimes leaves little notes in the big soup pot that say, “I love you,” and I leave naughty notes in his briefcase. 

I learned very early on in our marriage that Phillip was a giver and a pleaser, and it made me want to do things for him in return. And so it went back and forth, back and forth. Now that’s a relationship cycle one would want to keep going!

Years back when I was about 20, there was a significant holiday – I can’t remember which one at this point – but I bought two cards and gave one to my grandmother and one to my grandfather. My grandmother smiled at me tenderly as she gave her card back. She put her arm around me and said, “Your grandfather and I are one; we share everything. We love your thoughtfulness, but we only need one card.” Then she kissed me on the forehead and that was that.

Married 61 years, they were loving and kind to each other every day. They held hands when they walked, when they sat on the couch, whenever they could. The memories are beautifully indelible. Their diamond celebration story: http://theletstalkmom.com/romance-and-spice/the-diamond-celebration/

So as I went into my marriage, I thought to myself I could think, “What have you done for me lately?” …or I could be a thoughtful spouse and say to myself, “What can I do for my husband?”

I know there are some people that might think I’m a wimp. Oh, contraire! When you are great to your significant other and your significant other is great to you, you are united, you are strong, you feel loved, and you are on the 61-year path.

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – When parents are strong together, the whole family benefits and thrives.

 

The Dulcimer~Giving the Gift of Music

Our daughter just turned 7. For years, she’s always had an amazing ability to hear a tune on the stereo or radio & walk over to her keyboard, working out the song while she hums softly to herself.

The other day my dulcimer sprung to mind. Tucked away for years, I thought what better gift than to pass along this cherished and beautiful rosewood & mahogany instrument ~ custom made for me to every delicate specification. Sure enough, within 15 minutes she figured out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on her own.

Here is a quick 2-minute video of me playing the dulcimer years back…then the video transitions into just the other day when our daughter opened the case for the 1st time. We play Twinkle together that 1st hour with Dad proudly videotaping & at the end of this clip, she is playing the dulcimer for Grandma in England via Skype delighted with her special gift. Yes, very exciting for Mama, indeed. Thanks for sharing!  xo~b

  

Miles of Smiles

May I take this moment to thank all of you who made the Miles of Smiles campaign at Stamford Ford Lincoln a wonderful success.

Proud & dedicated dad, Dominic Franchella, owner of Stamford Ford Lincoln, reached out to the community to fill an F-150 Ford truck full of toys and coats for families in our area.

     

Phillip & I are grateful to all who participated in Miles of Smiles and we are thankful for Stamford Ford Lincoln’s Title Sponsorship of our radio show, “Let’s Talk!” a Life, Love and Parenting show on 1490am WGCH airing Live each week and later archived right here for your listening convenience (see nav bar above). The Bright Spot  – all of YOU who made this campaign a success to make little children happy in your own community. Thank you. ~b

Stamford Ford Lincoln 212 Magee Avenue in Stamford, Connecticut

Blind Kitty ~ Humanity at its Finest!

We have rescued many animals (you can see more on the Moussie Tales side bar on the left-hand column of this site) & our family was so touched by this video.

God bless the folks who adopted this blind little kitten. Watch this tender video as Oskar discovers his very 1st toy:

Hurricane Irene Pushes My Bright Spot!

Hurricane Irene ripped through metro New York and coastal towns in our area destroying homes and businesses. Our schools are closed for an extra week because of all the downed trees and power lines on the bus routes. Many people were left without power for a week; all I kept thinking about were the elderly, the disabled and all the Moms who have babies and toddlers to care for in the dark with no water. It also made me think very deeply of the 6-year-old little girl and her family we sponsor in Africa and how limited their resources are with power and water. It makes their plight and struggle for survival really hit home.

We were one of the families who were flooded; we had no power, no communication services, no running water. We’re on well water and when the power goes, so does the pump. Toilets don’t flush, oh, joy! Throw in a period the night of the hurricane and it can pretty much go downhill from there.

But Phillip was my hero, as usual, driving back & forth downtown filling gallon after gallon of water jugs. Sure, we prepared – we filled the tub – but at 2.5 gallons of water to flush, it doesn’t last that many days! He bought a load of Poland Spring and at first I felt so guilty flushing it down the toilet – literally! We used the “refilled” jugs for that and the remaining bottled spring water for drinking & brushing.

But before we could get downtown, we 1st we had to get out of our road – again Phillip & our son were my heros! A tree blocked our road. Neighbors were stuck. We’re far in the back country, near the horse farms and golf courses.

   

We are not a priority area, so I knew workers would not be clearing the end of our road for a while.

 

So in rain and heavy winds, my men cleared the way. I snapped pics, Little Petal supervised. A grand team effort in a time of family & neighborly need.

 

We had our battery-operated radio and listened to the radio station we air from weekly – WSTC & WNLK – it was the only outside communication we had. And we had dark chocolate-covered graham crackers – a must-have during this dodgy week!

With no electricity, time seems to pass more slowly. My stomach was still achy, brushing teeth was a misery trying to not waste the bottled water while cleaning the toothbrush, night came way too quickly and I just wanted to wash my hands!

My buttons were being pushed and I had to push back – I had to find my Bright SpotTM and make it a grand adventure! (See Mission: Bright Spot - 3rd flower tab in the nav bar above).

Finding your Bright SpotTM is not an easy task. The effort comes in times of adversity. But I decided to turn my situation into something great and memorable. We became pioneers and turned the hurricane recovery time into family fun time.

So what exactly was the Bright SpotTM in all this?? We all drove to my Mom’s house (my sister’s family had no power either) for hot showers, home-cooked dinner and good times all together. Then we bought dozens of battery-operated tea light candles and used them for the den, bedrooms, hallways, staircase, etc. It was very pretty. We had our 6-year-old pick out her favorite brand new flashlight and she played with the cats – chasing the little spot light here, there and everywhere. Our little one stayed in our room and we made shadow puppets on the ceiling with her new flashlight. We had friends over and in daylight hours played family games like Chutes & Ladders, Candy Land and I Spy.

We watched crazy men with bike helmets play golf on a flooded course – hello???

And because we had to eat out every day, I didn’t have to cook! And that means NO dishes…which in itself is its own Bright SpotTM!!

Daddy

My Daddy was my hero.

Kind and loving, generous and hardworking, he loved his family and we adored him.

Below is a photo tribute for my father. Happy Father’s Day, I miss you so.

 

The quote, “A Happy Childhood Lasts Forever,” sums up my father’s parenting style – an amazing storyteller, an excellent Santa, a funny Daddy who was bigger than a mountain and softer than a teddybear.

My father held us up and made us believe in ourselves. (Me in the 60s, my sister in the 70s):

 

One of 7 children,   (2nd in pic), he left his country and came to the USA in his early 20s, with no family, no friends, just a few dollars in his pocket, and worked tirelessly to put himself through college, met my mom, got his MBA,  

and they built & earned a life together living the American Dream.

 

                                                             (1st Christmas with mom)

He worked day & night to give my mom, sister & me an incredible life, for which we are forever grateful,  

 

but even with life’s ups & downs, there he was with a huge & brilliant smile – the most optimistic person I’ve     

ever known! My strength in “Mission: Bright Spot” (read above) comes directly from Daddy.

He founded 6 companies, and as busy as he was, he was never too busy for us. Daddy dropped everything if my sister or I phoned him or popped by the office. He would stop conferences mid-meeting and get up to kiss us & give us a great, big hug.

 

                                               

(Good eye if you recognized my favorite little blue daisy dress above in the picture from 23 years ago – it’s the same dress I wore last year for the photo in the above header of this website – I’ll never get rid of it! 🙂

 

Inventor of several patents, Daddy was a math genius and was there anytime we needed help with school work. Education was of the utmost importance to my father! Education and persistence.    

He always made it a point to pick us up at the airport. When we were little, he read to us at night, took us skiing, ice skating, sledding, horseback riding, boating, and every summer filled his car with neighborhood kids for a trip to Dairy Queen.

 

Daddy loved to dance…

 (gala in the 80s)

…but God needed him, so I never had the chance to dance with him at my wedding.

I met my incredible husband on FATHER’S DAY and Phillip & my Dad share the SAME BIRTHDAY! Signs everywhere!

At our wedding in England, Phillip’s wonderful father walked me down the aisle. Too weak to travel due to illness, my sweet father-in-law did not attend the wedding in the States.

God has called my dear father-in-law as well.  Now both Dads watch over us.

 

My father’s best friend, Ali, escorted me in the States.(Daddy and Ali goofing around in the 70s)

Many years have passed since my beloved father died suddenly and unexpectedly.

He was laid to rest on Valentine’s Day…appropriate for a man with such a big heart.

He was smart.

He was strong.

He was cool.

He was kind.

He was goofy.

And he was my hero.

My father loved children, it is clear.

   

He lives on in our family & our memories 

and I thank you for sharing this beautiful & poignant holiday with me.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Daddies in the world – no matter how busy you are, nothing can take the place of your quality time with your children. Nothing.

   

This note sits atop my computer screen. My father was an inspiration to me and to many whom he mentored. Charismatic, fearless, a visionary, entrepreneur, motivator, a true patriot, he was larger than life and is deeply missed by all who knew him.

The Bright SpotTM   –  

 

 

 

It is not about hamburgers!

The Bright Spot – that there are brave people willing to give up their lives to save ours and our freedoms. God Bless America!

My Mom-Shirt Says It All!

Awakened by the sounds of supressed giggles & loud shhhushhing, the aroma of 24 roses and strawberry-cream chocolates, the sizzle of bacon, scrambled eggs & smoked salmon, the juiciness of a delightfully sweet fruit bouquet, and the sparkle of a gorgeous diamond droplet necklace, it was actually my new Mother’s Day t-shirt that said it all:   

Thank you to my dear husband for noticing…you know…how exhausted active Moms are!! Hahahahahaha!!!

 

But really, above and beyond all else, the cuddles & snuggles of my wonderful children, the sumputous kiss from my incredible husband, the birthday hats, the Mother’s Day song, the handmade cards & gifts created with such care, 

& the pure joy of sharing breakfast in bed as a family was the best Mother’s Day gift of all!

A Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there – now go put your feet up!! 🙂

The Bright Spot  – remember as you plow through the fog on a particularly tiring day – exhausted because everything you do is for your family because you love them so much, go ahead and take a moment to grab your kids and snuggle the daylights out of them, because time is short and those are the moments you’ll remember…not the dishes, not the laundry, but the special cuddle, the eskimo kisses, the sweet memories. Then go take a little time for yourself…the laundry will still be there when you get back!

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