Which One Are You?

Janet Jackson’s catchy tune “What have you done for me lately?” and John F. Kennedy’s famous quote from his inaugural address, “…ask not what your country can do for you — ask what can you do for your country,” can symbolize your view of a relationship. Where do you fall in your marriage?

For us, we try to do whatever we can to please one another. If I grab a bottle of water for the car or our room for the night, I grab one for Phillip, too. It’s not even a thought, it’s just automatic. And it goes for anything. If he makes a cup of tea, he always makes two. If I can make my husband’s life more comfortable with simple, loving gestures, I do. And vice versa.

Sometimes I’ll warm a towel or his robe in the dryer for him shortly before he steps out of the shower, or I’ll chill a wine glass in the fridge before he comes home from work. These aren’t hard things to do, they don’t take effort, and are so appreciated. My husband sometimes leaves little notes in the big soup pot that say, “I love you,” and I leave naughty notes in his briefcase. 

I learned very early on in our marriage that Phillip was a giver and a pleaser, and it made me want to do things for him in return. And so it went back and forth, back and forth. Now that’s a relationship cycle one would want to keep going!

Years back when I was about 20, there was a significant holiday – I can’t remember which one at this point – but I bought two cards and gave one to my grandmother and one to my grandfather. My grandmother smiled at me tenderly as she gave her card back. She put her arm around me and said, “Your grandfather and I are one; we share everything. We love your thoughtfulness, but we only need one card.” Then she kissed me on the forehead and that was that.

Married 61 years, they were loving and kind to each other every day. They held hands when they walked, when they sat on the couch, whenever they could. The memories are beautifully indelible. Their diamond celebration story: http://theletstalkmom.com/romance-and-spice/the-diamond-celebration/

So as I went into my marriage, I thought to myself I could think, “What have you done for me lately?” …or I could be a thoughtful spouse and say to myself, “What can I do for my husband?”

I know there are some people that might think I’m a wimp. Oh, contraire! When you are great to your significant other and your significant other is great to you, you are united, you are strong, you feel loved, and you are on the 61-year path.

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – When parents are strong together, the whole family benefits and thrives.

 

The Dulcimer~Giving the Gift of Music

Our daughter just turned 7. For years, she’s always had an amazing ability to hear a tune on the stereo or radio & walk over to her keyboard, working out the song while she hums softly to herself.

The other day my dulcimer sprung to mind. Tucked away for years, I thought what better gift than to pass along this cherished and beautiful rosewood & mahogany instrument ~ custom made for me to every delicate specification. Sure enough, within 15 minutes she figured out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on her own.

Here is a quick 2-minute video of me playing the dulcimer years back…then the video transitions into just the other day when our daughter opened the case for the 1st time. We play Twinkle together that 1st hour with Dad proudly videotaping & at the end of this clip, she is playing the dulcimer for Grandma in England via Skype delighted with her special gift. Yes, very exciting for Mama, indeed. Thanks for sharing!  xo~b

  

Zumba Kicks It!

My sister loves Mexico. She lived in Puerto Vallarta for years while dating a Grammy award-winning rock star; she learned the language, loves the music & culture, learned to cook traditional cuisine and can tear up the dance floor.

She’s always been daring & adventuresome whether hopping in her open-topped Jeep Wrangler driving thousands of miles from New York > Puerto Vallarta, or hopping out of airplanes.

I visited her many times in Mexico, especially the years I lived in Texas, and we spent many a night shakin’ our thang to the beat of night music at the clubs along the famous malecon – the seaside promenade.

My sister’s always been more athletic than me. So it is no wonder that when Zumba came on the scene, there she was rippin it up every day, begging me to join her.

It’s taken months but I finally joined her today. I learned I’m not as young as I used to be (yes, to the right is the “then” in Mexico, the couch pic below is the “now” LOL!)

We have a tendency in our family to jump headfirst into everything with zeal and passion and exhuberance.

But somehow my freespirited soul didn’t tell my back that. Or my knee or my butt.

That’s right – Zumba kicked my butt!!

I came home aching & aaahhing and did what I love to do nowadays more than ever – hang out with my kids and put my feet UP!

The Bright SpotTM – I love my couch!

Imagine

Imagine not knowing where or WHEN you were born. Imagine being left in a shoe box as a baby. Imagine being crippled and abandoned. This is a must-see, heart-wrenching, totally inspiring video that will put your life in perspective.

My husband sent it to me and told me to get the tissues ready. I sat in my studio and watched in awe. Before the end of the video I was on my feet clapping, crying, clapping some more – full of joy, delight, hope.

Give yourself a moment in your day & truly brighten it with this video. Bravo, Emmanuel!!!! Bravo to the mother who saved him and his brother!!!! Click here to enjoy:

Blind Kitty ~ Humanity at its Finest!

We have rescued many animals (you can see more on the Moussie Tales side bar on the left-hand column of this site) & our family was so touched by this video.

God bless the folks who adopted this blind little kitten. Watch this tender video as Oskar discovers his very 1st toy:

Flippin’ Freezing!

Okay, what’s up with that surprise Autumn Nor’easter that pelted New England this weekend! Heavy wet snow, no power, no water, no heat, I could go on but really just click here & read http://theletstalkmom.com/tea-talk-momversations/hurricane-irene-pushes-my-bright-spot/ – then insert FLIPPIN’ FREEZING at the end of that story!!

I was at a bridal shower when the lights went out. It was pretty watching the snow flutter past the picture windows as we toasted the bride-to-be by candlelight.

But the ride home wasn’t pretty at all.

Trees still full with colorful Autumn leaves were heavy with snow and easily snapped over power lines and across roadways.

Yes, crazy me snapped photos so I could blog it for you.

It was daunting and awesome at the same time.

I was thankful when I finally got home. Our road looked very beautiful.

A Winter Wonderland in October…that doesn’t even sound right. Didn’t look right either with pumpkins under snow, it wasn’t even Halloween yet. Bright red Autumn leaves dripping in glistening ice, flowers covered in a blanket of snow.

 

 

 

 

 

The Bright SpotTM  – The power is now back on, thank God. Since I enjoy the snow (not the power cuts!), sledding is always fun with the kids. My window where I write is pretty to look out of, we had friends over during the outage who brought wine & cheese, apples and dips, we ate dinner out each night and we did a lot of extra snuggling to stay warm. 😉 b

Soft Hands, Warm Heart, Now that is Strength!

Teach your children to be kind to animals, to use gentle hands and soft voices. A respect of nature and the world we live in will always serve them well. 

Meet our newest furry baby from the shelter. Her name is Purr.

The examples we set as adults have profound effects on our children. The way they treat each other and other living beings they learn from you.

It’s easy to be tough, cool and sometimes even mean, but to be big & strong and still kind and loving, now that’s a real gift! A treasure for a lifetime for all who receive that love.

The Bright Spot – I am proud of my children, my husband and my parents. Thank you, Mom & Dad, for giving me the gift of Soft Hands, Warm Heart. You were the greatest teachers and I love you!!

My Mom-Shirt Says It All!

Awakened by the sounds of supressed giggles & loud shhhushhing, the aroma of 24 roses and strawberry-cream chocolates, the sizzle of bacon, scrambled eggs & smoked salmon, the juiciness of a delightfully sweet fruit bouquet, and the sparkle of a gorgeous diamond droplet necklace, it was actually my new Mother’s Day t-shirt that said it all:   

Thank you to my dear husband for noticing…you know…how exhausted active Moms are!! Hahahahahaha!!!

 

But really, above and beyond all else, the cuddles & snuggles of my wonderful children, the sumputous kiss from my incredible husband, the birthday hats, the Mother’s Day song, the handmade cards & gifts created with such care, 

& the pure joy of sharing breakfast in bed as a family was the best Mother’s Day gift of all!

A Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there – now go put your feet up!! 🙂

The Bright Spot  – remember as you plow through the fog on a particularly tiring day – exhausted because everything you do is for your family because you love them so much, go ahead and take a moment to grab your kids and snuggle the daylights out of them, because time is short and those are the moments you’ll remember…not the dishes, not the laundry, but the special cuddle, the eskimo kisses, the sweet memories. Then go take a little time for yourself…the laundry will still be there when you get back!

Tea Cups

Our sweet, adorable “Uncle” George passed away at the age of 95. 

He was the consummate gentleman.

Always held the door open, always in a suit, tie and outdoor hat to go to dinner – no complaints or excuses even as he wearied in his 90s.

He was a devout religious man, a boy scout, an engineer, a loving husband, an incredible man.

My husband’s father and my father had both passed away and George became the

Patriarch of our family. 

His beloved wife, Mildred, had passed away about 16 years ago and we met George the following year ~ he lived next door to my sister on the beach – this is her lovely house at sunset – simply glorious.

Mildred and George had no children; we “adopted” George into our family and for 15 years we shared every holiday, every birthday and every regular day in between as family.

He even had a cell phone on our family plan. 

For George’s 90th birthday, we had more than 80 people at our home to celebrate. We set up huge foam poster boards with photos from his youth – he kept those boards all around his home for years.

Whenever we visited George at his home, he would make tea. It was our very own special tradition – he always had delicious goodies and a fine story to tell.

But the time came when George wasn’t feeling well. He asked us what we would like from him to remember him by.

He knew very clearly we never wanted anything but his love, strength, model of life for our children and model of love and communication for our marriage. But he asked more persistently as he was dissolving his material things so I said we would be honored to have his tea cups.

We would enjoy them throughout our lifetime and think of him.

Little Petal’s Fairy Princess Tea Party for her 4th birthday was inspired by George ~ for he gave us these gorgeous porcelain tea cups that he and Mildred had collected from all around the world.

We honored his gracious gift by telling that story to everyone at the tea party

and we all clapped in his honor.

Below is Little Petal turning 4 and her adorable friend – all the little princess were

so naturally gentle with the porcelain. So sweet and beautiful to see.

We miss our Uncle George very much but we know he longed to be with his dear wife so much.

Phillip and our son were pallbearers, carrying George to his final destination beside his beloved. Both said doing so was very healing for them.

George had brought flowers to Mildred’s resting site every single Saturday for 16 years. He is a model for all of us.

The Bright Spot  â€“ If we all bring one lonely person into our lives, we can change this world one snuggle at a time.

Please go to the Radio Show flower in the navigation bar above and listen to the show we broadcasted Live on November 4, 2010 – it’s now archived on this site ~ we talked about this wonderful way to integrate our Senior Citizens into our families, our lives (and the conversation after the elderly and children about World Vision reduced me to tears.)

Our Senior Citizens are the walking treasures of history, story-telling and love from a time gone by. Grab hold before their story is gone. Everyone in the family benefits and your experience will last for a lifetime!

A Letter From My Love

My darling husband, Phillip, underwent a major surgery ~ what was to be a 3-hour surgery turned into over 5 hours because of complications.

I was very scared.

But the support from our family, friends and community was overwhelming – letters, e-mails, prepared dinners, child care, phone calls, hospital visits, you name it, people were there.

Because of this incredible support, he wrote a long letter to everyone when he was finally home recuperating – I’d like to share a part of it with you now.

When I married Phillip, he was a widower. He knows the deep heartache of losing one’s spouse.

This letter will give you an idea of why I love this man so much. Why it was so easy to fall in love with him instantly and marry him after only being in his company 46 days.

 

My Dear Friends,

These last few weeks have been quite daunting for me. Thankfully, when it comes to surgeries, I do not get fazed. If it needs to be done, get on with, just get it right.

My deep concern has been for my wonderful wife, Bianca, and for my children. Should anything go wrong with the surgery, frankly, I wouldn’t know a thing about it. 

But I know, only too well, the pain left behind for loved ones when the unexpected happens and your spouse is suddenly gone.

Without going into too much detail, the operation ran to almost twice its planned time; the surgeon told me it was the most complicated case he’d ever seen in his career.

During all this time, I needed to prepare myself physically, and most importantly, mentally for a speedy recovery.

Also during this time, Bianca was preparing so she could help me get through this. So many of you overwhelmed us with your help, your kind words, your compassion and your prayers. I am thankful for your concern for my health and for Bianca’s well-being. We are truly blessed to have friends as great as each and every one of you.

What has gone unseen during this time is the enormous amount of stress this has put on Bianca.

She has kept on the brave face, looked after the kids, looked after me, and made the house extra welcoming and cozy for my recuperation.

But I see the pain in her face at the thought that something horrible could have happened.

I cannot bear to see my beautiful wife suffer after the amount of goodness she has brought into my life.

 

I love her more than life itself and if I spend the rest of my life loving her as much as she has loved me, I will still not be able to repay her in full.

I truly am THE luckiest man on the planet to have found such an incredible person to share my life with.

Thank you,

Phillip

The Bright Spot  – my friend, Susan, told me about a quote she heard and I love its truth, “The greatest gift a father can give his children is loving their mother.”

 

A Beacon of Love

It may seem so obvious. Turn the lights on when your teen is out.

But to me it’s more than just a safety issue.

It’s a beacon from home when he rounds the corner on his way back from the firehouse or walking with his buddies. It’s a glow from the porch lights that says “Welcome, you’re back!” It’s a light that shines from our home that embraces him upon return.

 

To him, it’s probably just a light thing and he switches it off without thinking when he enters the house.

But ages from now, I hope it will be a warm memory of the early years in his life when coming home was a comforting feeling; I hope it gives him a content sentiment in his heart…

…that when he turns on the lights for his teens many years from now, may he remember his Mom and Dad waiting for his safe return to our cozy home so many years before.

I love you, Honey. You are one of my most Brightest Spots  in my life. 

I’m going now to turn the light on. Love, Mom

« Previous Page