Paradise for Families

Peace, tranquility, a vacation like none other Рclich̩ by no means! Let me explain.

We were looking for a family vacation & what we found was something above & beyond in Runaway Bay, Jamaica.

It wasn’t the cozy sleep on the flight or the magnificent sunsets or the spa on the stone jetty in the     <Caribbean Sea. It wasn’t the climb to the awesome 100′ slide or the fire-breathing master.

The FDR resort is an all-inclusive, 78-suite, ultimate family experience consistently rated among the best in the Caribbean. It is Jamaican-owned, Jamaican-operated with Jamaican restaurants so you get the true flavors of this beautiful, tropical island and its people. 

It’s not an oversized resort with a Starbucks, Burger King or Payless Shoes. I didn’t leave the States to find a mini-USA. 

What took the experience at the FDR resort to the level of “phenomenal” was an intrinsic feeling of being transported back to the days of summer holiday camps like Kellerman’s in Dirty Dancing. Everyone knew everyone at the resort, and if you didn’t, you were welcomed with warm smiles and a handshake.

I was stunned to find that families have been going there for 25 years. Folks e-mail each other dates of when they’re returning. Families plan around other families they don’t otherwise see but once a year. We’ve been e-mailed by guests – now friends – about the next holiday. Unless I’m visiting friends, I never go back to the same places on Earth so I can explore new territory. So I was intrigued when the 1st family I met said they had been coming for the past 10 years. “Why??” “You’ll see,” smiled the father. By week’s end, I was looking forward to re-visiting this very special & unique place.

The owner, Franklyn D. Rance, for whom the FDR resort is named, says he has welcomed repeat international families for 25 years, he has watched couples come when young Moms were pregnant, and then watched their children grow up year after year, and then watched those children marry and come back annually with their own kids. I’d never heard of such a thing; it was fascinating to me.

I felt like I was back in the 60s or 70s ~ where parents of other children cared for, bandaged up, and guided with love the children in their midst. If you’re 40 and over, you’ll know that comforting feeling – a mix of common sense, “old school neighborhood,” and family amongst friends. And all the staff members knew everyone’s name, had fun with the parents, and the lifeguard swam with the kids.

     

Frank was one of the original 3 partners to found “all-inclusives” 30 years ago. He and his partners built resorts throughout the Caribbean and, now retired, he enjoys his days at the FDR sitting under a palm tree with his advisors. He envisaged a relaxation haven for parents when he created the Personal Vacation Nanny service.

Each family is matched with a specially-trained, private nanny to follow, entertain, swim with, play with, keep safe and care for every need of your child or children so parents can completely relax – body & mind. Your personal nanny takes care of your suite as well, bedding, towels and even brings up platters of evening treats you request. 

I wasn’t into it at first. I watch my kids. I play with my kids. This is family time.

Well…guess what…there’s plenty of family time and one can always play and swim with the kids, Nanny is there to assist from 9-4. She will run back to the room if you forget your sunscreen or hat, she’ll get a drink for you at the bar and, once I was completely comfortable and knew how happy my little one was with all her new friends and their nannies, I could actually take a romantic morning walk on the beach with my husband… or a little afternoon siesta…imagine that…on a family vacation!

We loved our nanny so much that we asked she bring her child to work so we could spend time with her 2 year old.  We gave her a little dollie and hope she remembers us till we return. We love FDR. It’s not a mega-huge resort. It’s kid-friendly and families are welcomed back year after year with handmade signs on their door.

Another delightful and unusual thing about this trip was that each night dinner was served in a different restaurant, or on the beach or on one of the piers throughout the resort. Location & time were listed on the chalkboard by the pool. We didn’t get that at first and went downstairs when we felt like it for dinner. Everyone was finished and going to the dance floor area for entertainment. Whoa, what happened? Families came up and said, “Hi, we missed you at dinner.”

You did??

The next night we came down between the 6:30-9:00 time for cocktails on the pier and dinner. Everyone was there.

Children ran around & played and parents talked about their great day. Amazing! It was so delightful. So friendly. So engaging. So comforting. So not the era we’re all living in now where everyone’s consumed by their handhelds, Facebooking, texting, tweeting, blah, blah, blah. Here everyone was unplugged and relaxed – Eating together. Dancing together. Singing together. And, in Phillip’s case, entertaining us with some funky stick dance on his butt~! LOL! 

The trip was simply wonderful, rejuvenating & exciting. We enjoyed the resort’s glass-bottom boat, spa, our private wedding anniversary dinner with our 7 year old on the pier, the children’s talent show, the daily activities, the Rum treasure hunt at the bottom of the pool, board games, water trampoline, swimming with the dolphins & stingrays, snorkeling, diving and all the exciting adventures the Caribbean has to offer. 

 

 

 

The Bright SpotTM – It was hard to leave Jamaica but e-mails from other families we met there have been flying in: “When are you going again?” I can tell you it will be very soon. A real pleasure and, indeed, the ultimate family experience!

 

Little Notes~~~Lasting Memories

                                                    Daddy left me this note decades ago.

  Phillip left this surprise note for our little one yesterday before he headed away for a business trip.

Small gestures, time well spent together, little notes…they all go a long way.

   

                                      These notes mean something when we find them.                                               They mean a whole lot more when we lose those we love so dearly.

 Daddy, I miss you!!!!   

                                  I see so much of my father’s tenderness & care in my husband.                            I don’t take any of these moments for granted.

                    

The Bright SpotTM  – Write your kids a little note today. It may be something they cherish for the next 40 years.

Kite Flying & Laughter

Indeed, the cards, poems, drawings, gifts, flowers, those are all very appreciated, loved & cherished on Mother’s Day.

 

 

 

But the best part of the day was not the wonderful breakfast with smoked salmon or our afternoon in New York City, it was watching my children’s silliness & laughter wrapped in hugs & snuggles topped by kite flying with my kids in the early evening.

Running, playing, enjoying a gorgeous Spring day with the family. 

   

   The Bright SpotTM  – Be present with your kids, they are your future memories, they are what makes Mother’s Day possible, they are the gift. Happy Mother’s Day, Moms~!!  🙂

The Magic of Reading

Dianthus!!  The magical unicorn trapped in the tapestry came to life – not only in the Magic Tree House book, Blizzard of the Blue Moon - but for our young reader on a visit to the Cloisters in New York City where the circa 1495AD woven masterpiece graces the hall today.

Our daughter’s expression cannot deny the power of words coming to life. And no children’s author makes history come more alive than Mary Pope Osborne. She is a literary hero in our home, a master wordsmith, prolific and creative, funny and warm.

Anyone who knows me knows Children & Literacy are paramount:  http://www.biancatyler.com/childrenliteracy.htm
Our little one started reading the Magic Tree House books in 1st grade.
For her 7th birthday, my mother gave her the entire set. She was thrilled!

Dad & the Birthday Girl are checking out each book.
Book stands & baskets throughout the house, this series commands a special shelf on her favorite bookcase in her room.       

It helped, too, that our daughter was 7 when Jack’s little sister, Annie, was 7 in the series. And when our little one turned 8, Annie was just turning 8!

Annie’s brave and smart, kind and loves animals. She’s a delightful role model for any little girl. Jack is bright and funny, loves to research and jots handy notes in his journal. I have found boys are entertained by the series as much as girls are…and that’s a great first step in fostering a lifelong love of reading. 

Every book has been a joy to read. For 1st & 2nd grade, our daughter participated in the Governor’s Challenge reading over 2,000 pages each summer. Much of it, of course, the exciting Magic Tree House stories. And when she had to tell the Governor what her favorite book was it came as no surprise that it was a Magic Tree House story!

        

It’s been fun taking her to places she’s read about – the Cloisters to see the unicorn tapestry. The 1930s structure resembles medieval abbeys and is situated on the northern tip of Manhattan island. It’s breathtaking views overlooking the Hudson River and the gardens surrounding it make the trip simply wonderful.

                    The Cloisters house over 5,000 European medieval works of art from the 12th – 15th centuries. It is under the care of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Cloister’s Library contains over 15,000 volumes of books.

 

Our next trip was to Plymouth Rock in Massachusetts after reading Magic Tree House #27, Thanksgiving on Thursday. The stories of Squanto, Priscilla, Governor Bradford, the pilgrims & the Native Americans came to life through words only Mary Pope Osborne can weave. As we sailed into the harbor, we tried hard to imagine what the pilgrims were thinking in 1620 as they approached land.

Next roadtrip…Valley Forge – Jack & Annie’s story with General George Washington, Revolutionary War on Wednesday, book #22.

And from there, any family trip we can drive to…Gettysburg, Sturbridge, the Titanic exhibit at Mystic.

The Bright SpotTM  – If you are looking for a wonderful series for your young reader, I highly recommend the Magic Tree House series. The wind started to blow. The tree house started to spin…

I Am Here For You

It’s no secret children need their parents’ attention. Unconditional love, devotion, affection, warmth, trust, mutual respect and communication. Put down your handheld and be present when you’re with your kids. Nothing makes me sadder than to see a child at a playground looking longingly at his parent texting hoping the adult will play with him soon. They know you’re really not present. Or when a child bounds out of school with a look of excitement bursting to tell his parent about his day and he’s greeted with an obligatory wave while still looking down texting. How long do you think that excitement is going to last? How long do you think the communication lines will stay open? It can be forever if you always give your child the message “I’m here for you, I’m present.”

 Our son so long ago & today,

nothing’s more comforting than just being there…  

           

Hanging out or hanging in…

     

             

        

     

And our little one…

        

  

     

   

     

Teens are notorious for keeping to themselves, mumbling when spoken to, hanging out in their room rather than the den, etc., you know the drill if you have a teen. But if they have that secure feeling that you will give them 100% of your attention when they do open up about their world, their happenings, their loves and their heartaches, what a lucky parent you are! Drop everything and lend your ear and your heart. I never felt my parents didn’t hear me. They not only heard, they listened.

There’s a large, soft, pale green armchair next to my desk. I love when our son slumps into the chair, tossing his legs over the armrest ready to confide in me. Of course, it’s usually when I’m working or on a deadline, but nothing swells my heart more than knowing I’m the one who he chose to speak to at that very moment. I’ll stop anything I’m doing, swivel my chair in his direction and look into his deep, thoughtful eyes.

The Bright SpotTM  – The great communicator in my life taught me this line of communication can stay open through all stages of my life and I can pass that gift on to my children. So can you. Click here http://theletstalkmom.com/tea-talk-momversations/daddy/ to read the special Bright SpotTM of that story to see what I mean - the message in that Bright SpotTM is important for ALL parents. So important it’s bold & underlined. It’s a lesson for us all in this modern world!

After you have taken a look at the link in the above paragraph, please read the quote below from the Dalai Lama about “being present:”

When asked, “What thing about Humanity surprises you the most?” the Dalai Lama answered: “Man…because he sacrifices health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future. He lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” – Dalai Lama XIV

Be in a “present” state of mind when you are with your children. They will grow and leave before you know it. And when you are old, what greater gift than for them to be in a “present” state of mind when spending time with you.

You will be leaning on them one day.   xo~b

Live & Let Love

I was finishing up a really great day trip with my daughter & one of her closest friends. The girls met more than 6 years ago in a baby lapsit music program. The little friend’s grandmother was with us on this particular day and my husband called to see when we would be home.              

“It shouldn’t be more than an hour now,” I said and we each finished with “I love you very much, too.”

The grandmother turned to me when I hung up. “I didn’t mean to listen in but it was really nice to hear you talk like that with your husband.”

To me, it’s just normal. My husband and I are tender & loving in our daily routine. It’s good for us & it’s good for the children. Affection is part of their daily life, and I hope that their partners one day in the far future are just as loving & warm.

I remember advice from some folks when I first married: “Don’t call your husband at work, just let him just do his job.” “Don’t tell your husband you love him all the time, he’ll bore of you.” “And don’t be overly mushy, guys don’t like it.”

But I grew up in a loving home with smoochy parents & grandparents and I went with my gut. To me, men are just as deep as women are and most people, I believe, desire attention, recognition & hugs.

And what I find is that many people wish they had a more loving relationship. Or that they connected more with their spouse.

It’s really not hard. It’s the little things that add up to the wonderful bond between you & your significant other.

A brush past your partner with a soft touch across the shoulders. A little kiss as you pass in the kitchen or while your husband is working late into the evening. I leave him notes in his briefcase, he’s left me notes in the pantry, across my computer screen, in my coat pocket or the bottom of a soup pot!

Arm in arm when you walk, hand holding when you talk, a little text here & a little Google Chat there. It all adds up.  Communication – touch, voice, writing – text or by hand. It all matters.
And nothing beats the kiss! 

 

Don’t think your kids don’t notice. They want that comfort of a loving environment.

Of course, when they’re preteens, a kiss might evoke a look of disgust or even a groan, but in reality, it gives your children quiet inner peace to know their parents are close & loving and, with a divorce rate of nearly half of all marriages nowadays, don’t underestimate the great security it gives them.

So reach out to your partner. Physically & emotionally. And have fun!   

It will not only be super for your relationship, but it will teach your children what a loving family is and what a great partnership looks like.

And the kindness your children experience they will share because they know it as their norm.

   

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – You already know your children model your behavior.

You have the power to mold their framework for a loving marriage and a connected family structure in their future.

 So go on now…smooch the daylights out of your kids and your spouse!  Happy Parenting!™

Our World Community Comes Together!

Born & raised in picturesque Connecticut just 30 minutes from Newtown, I was devastated to hear the news on December 14th. I sat in church longing for words from our clergy to help make sense of the tragedy. My heart was so heavy, my eyes and cheeks burned with tears for the parents, siblings, grandparents and friends who lost 20 of America’s babies and 6 heroic adults that fateful morning.

Christmas was about a week away and the kindly folks of that small, beautiful town felt grief beyond measure. Understandably, the holiday lights remained unlit.

Our church held several prayer vigils for the victims & surviors that horrific night, the very next morning and throughout the week. A Christmas concert had been planned for later that week and the question came up, “Should it be cancelled?” I and the rest of the congregation were so heavy-hearted. I expected the pastor to say it was cancelled.

But instead he said, “If we do not sing, evil wins. If we do not help our community move forward, we lose. If we do not light our trees and our candles, evil wins. If we do not help others to start healing, we lose.” “Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you!” (Isaiah 60:1)

The Litany: “I live, at times…grieving the loss of loved ones…” “Oh Lord, You are my Light! Come, dispel my darkness!”

Closing Litany: “If we walk in the Light, as He is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another…”

A fellowship from around the globe! Calls poured in from our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends shocked by the news. The world community mourned the little children & brave adults all together and everyone’s wishes for strength, love, healing and comfort are flooding the families in Newtown.

456 children attended the school. There was only 1 homicide in that charming, rural town in the last 10 years. The parents will need help. The siblings will need help. Not talking about it to trusted friends or professionals could repress feelings and cause future problems. Many may feel “Survivor’s Guilt.” This tragedy has hit many adults and children in many parts of the world. We had a friend whose 8-year-old son didn’t want to go to school. Children need to feel safe. Parents need to address this in age-appropriate terms and only you, as a parent, know what your child can & cannot handle informationwise.

Phillip & I wanted to do what we could to help promote healing. We asked family therapist & trauma expert, Melissa Cook, to speak on our Live call-in radio program, “Let’s Talk!” on 1490am to give specific advice on steps families & individuals - directly & indirectly – could use to start to heal and repiece their lives. All shows are archived on this site, just click here:

Which One Are You?

Janet Jackson’s catchy tune “What have you done for me lately?” and John F. Kennedy’s famous quote from his inaugural address, “…ask not what your country can do for you — ask what can you do for your country,” can symbolize your view of a relationship. Where do you fall in your marriage?

For us, we try to do whatever we can to please one another. If I grab a bottle of water for the car or our room for the night, I grab one for Phillip, too. It’s not even a thought, it’s just automatic. And it goes for anything. If he makes a cup of tea, he always makes two. If I can make my husband’s life more comfortable with simple, loving gestures, I do. And vice versa.

Sometimes I’ll warm a towel or his robe in the dryer for him shortly before he steps out of the shower, or I’ll chill a wine glass in the fridge before he comes home from work. These aren’t hard things to do, they don’t take effort, and are so appreciated. My husband sometimes leaves little notes in the big soup pot that say, “I love you,” and I leave naughty notes in his briefcase. 

I learned very early on in our marriage that Phillip was a giver and a pleaser, and it made me want to do things for him in return. And so it went back and forth, back and forth. Now that’s a relationship cycle one would want to keep going!

Years back when I was about 20, there was a significant holiday – I can’t remember which one at this point – but I bought two cards and gave one to my grandmother and one to my grandfather. My grandmother smiled at me tenderly as she gave her card back. She put her arm around me and said, “Your grandfather and I are one; we share everything. We love your thoughtfulness, but we only need one card.” Then she kissed me on the forehead and that was that.

Married 61 years, they were loving and kind to each other every day. They held hands when they walked, when they sat on the couch, whenever they could. The memories are beautifully indelible. Their diamond celebration story: http://theletstalkmom.com/romance-and-spice/the-diamond-celebration/

So as I went into my marriage, I thought to myself I could think, “What have you done for me lately?” …or I could be a thoughtful spouse and say to myself, “What can I do for my husband?”

I know there are some people that might think I’m a wimp. Oh, contraire! When you are great to your significant other and your significant other is great to you, you are united, you are strong, you feel loved, and you are on the 61-year path.

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – When parents are strong together, the whole family benefits and thrives.

 

Wings

 
This month marks the anniversary of Daddy’s passing. It’s been many years now, but I can still picture that shocking moment like it was yesterday. Sudden, unexpected, heartbreaking.

I grieved deeply, crying a sea of sorrow…and I emerged strong, sturdy and resilient. Why?

Well, there are two main reasons. The first is because he was the most incredible father in the world to my sister and me and gave us unconditional love, time, tenderness and devotion.

The second reason dates back to when I was in college. His mother passed away and sometime later I was talking to him and asked him how he was not falling apart.

My father, one of seven children, said, “Although you haven’t seen my tears and pain, my parents raised me to be strong and independent; they gave me wings so one day I could start my own family and teach my children to be independent and give them wings. If I fell apart, my mother’s teachings would have failed, and there I will not fail her. That is completely different to my emotions which I feel deeply.”

                                                   So sometimes, especially the years close to when my father passed away, those poignant feelings would pierce my heart, but I wouldn’t fall apart, because that would fail him.

 

He gave me wings and I am blessed to be a mother now having the honor to teach my own children to be strong, loving future adults with wings.

    

Daddy’s legacy is indelible. And this lesson is true: Be present with your children. Of course you love them, but give them 100% of your attention, be truly present. You know, push the swing without the handheld…rather than texting someone who’s not there, focus on the one who is there – the person who thinks you’re the world! The person you are giving wings to.

The Bright SpotTM  – Daddy was kind & generous, and loved by his community. He was laid to rest on Valentine’s Day…appropriate for a man with such a big heart. To read all about my father’s story & see one of my *favorite pictorials*, click right here: http://theletstalkmom.com/tea-talk-momversations/daddy/

I miss you, Daddy, here’s to you!     xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blind Kitty ~ Humanity at its Finest!

We have rescued many animals (you can see more on the Moussie Tales side bar on the left-hand column of this site) & our family was so touched by this video.

God bless the folks who adopted this blind little kitten. Watch this tender video as Oskar discovers his very 1st toy:

Flippin’ Freezing!

Okay, what’s up with that surprise Autumn Nor’easter that pelted New England this weekend! Heavy wet snow, no power, no water, no heat, I could go on but really just click here & read http://theletstalkmom.com/tea-talk-momversations/hurricane-irene-pushes-my-bright-spot/ – then insert FLIPPIN’ FREEZING at the end of that story!!

I was at a bridal shower when the lights went out. It was pretty watching the snow flutter past the picture windows as we toasted the bride-to-be by candlelight.

But the ride home wasn’t pretty at all.

Trees still full with colorful Autumn leaves were heavy with snow and easily snapped over power lines and across roadways.

Yes, crazy me snapped photos so I could blog it for you.

It was daunting and awesome at the same time.

I was thankful when I finally got home. Our road looked very beautiful.

A Winter Wonderland in October…that doesn’t even sound right. Didn’t look right either with pumpkins under snow, it wasn’t even Halloween yet. Bright red Autumn leaves dripping in glistening ice, flowers covered in a blanket of snow.

 

 

 

 

 

The Bright SpotTM  – The power is now back on, thank God. Since I enjoy the snow (not the power cuts!), sledding is always fun with the kids. My window where I write is pretty to look out of, we had friends over during the outage who brought wine & cheese, apples and dips, we ate dinner out each night and we did a lot of extra snuggling to stay warm. 😉 b

« Previous Page — Next Page »