Date Your Spouse

We do everything together with our kids.

We ski, skate, travel, bike, scout, dance, read, sing, play & pray together.

      

                   

            

And most of all, we just like to hang out with one another.

 

       

Our kids are our #1 priority, our focus, our love. But there is one thing we know is vital to a strong family unit and strong marriage – dating your spouse.

When couples first meet, it’s exciting, romantic & heart-pounding to be together.

And when you choose one another for a lifetime, that romance & thrill should last a lifetime, too. Of course, mortgages, work, time contraints, exhaustion, these all creep up on us. But taking the time to date your spouse will keep your love on fire!

My husband & I date once a week. We plan something fun like evening horsebackriding followed by hors d’oeuvers & dinner…

 

…or smooching at sunset on the beach…

…or just bopping the heck out of each other!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although we like to

 

 
 

sail, snorkel and snog,     

   

 party or chill…

         

…and even work together in our own company – choosing to sit in the same office – much to the shock of our staff and those who visited (“Don’t you two get sick of each other,” they’d chide, “working all day across from one another and then seeing each other at home?”)

Nope, we look at each day as a gift. We celebrate it with our children and with each other.

 

 

 

And sure, gala events are nice (scroll down to see more on this summer event in the next story),

 

but it’s our routine Friday night pizza & a movie at home that’s my all-time, hands-down favorite!!!

 

Just hanging out with my husband, putting our feet up, throwing on a sweatshirt or fleece, a ponytail & little white socks, snuggling under the covers and watching a movie on NetFlix, now that’s a good time!

 

The Bright SpotTM – So go grab your Honey, the one you chose for your lifetime and make memories just hugging & kissing and all the wonderful little things you used to do before the bills and the laundry and the dishes.

 

 

It doesn’t matter what you do – and it doesn’t have to cost a penny - just spend quality time with your One & Only.

 

 

More photos above under “Our Photos – Hand in Hand.”

 

Happy summer lovin’ on the last of these lazy, hazy 2011 summer days.

 

 

Daddy

My Daddy was my hero.

Kind and loving, generous and hardworking, he loved his family and we adored him.

Below is a photo tribute for my father. Happy Father’s Day, I miss you so.

 

The quote, “A Happy Childhood Lasts Forever,” sums up my father’s parenting style – an amazing storyteller, an excellent Santa, a funny Daddy who was bigger than a mountain and softer than a teddybear.

My father held us up and made us believe in ourselves. (Me in the 60s, my sister in the 70s):

 

One of 7 children,   (2nd in pic), he left his country and came to the USA in his early 20s, with no family, no friends, just a few dollars in his pocket, and worked tirelessly to put himself through college, met my mom, got his MBA,  

and they built & earned a life together living the American Dream.

 

                                                             (1st Christmas with mom)

He worked day & night to give my mom, sister & me an incredible life, for which we are forever grateful,  

 

but even with life’s ups & downs, there he was with a huge & brilliant smile – the most optimistic person I’ve     

ever known! My strength in “Mission: Bright Spot” (read above) comes directly from Daddy.

He founded 6 companies, and as busy as he was, he was never too busy for us. Daddy dropped everything if my sister or I phoned him or popped by the office. He would stop conferences mid-meeting and get up to kiss us & give us a great, big hug.

 

                                               

(Good eye if you recognized my favorite little blue daisy dress above in the picture from 23 years ago – it’s the same dress I wore last year for the photo in the above header of this website – I’ll never get rid of it! 🙂

 

Inventor of several patents, Daddy was a math genius and was there anytime we needed help with school work. Education was of the utmost importance to my father! Education and persistence.    

He always made it a point to pick us up at the airport. When we were little, he read to us at night, took us skiing, ice skating, sledding, horseback riding, boating, and every summer filled his car with neighborhood kids for a trip to Dairy Queen.

 

Daddy loved to dance…

 (gala in the 80s)

…but God needed him, so I never had the chance to dance with him at my wedding.

I met my incredible husband on FATHER’S DAY and Phillip & my Dad share the SAME BIRTHDAY! Signs everywhere!

At our wedding in England, Phillip’s wonderful father walked me down the aisle. Too weak to travel due to illness, my sweet father-in-law did not attend the wedding in the States.

God has called my dear father-in-law as well.  Now both Dads watch over us.

 

My father’s best friend, Ali, escorted me in the States.(Daddy and Ali goofing around in the 70s)

Many years have passed since my beloved father died suddenly and unexpectedly.

He was laid to rest on Valentine’s Day…appropriate for a man with such a big heart.

He was smart.

He was strong.

He was cool.

He was kind.

He was goofy.

And he was my hero.

My father loved children, it is clear.

   

He lives on in our family & our memories 

and I thank you for sharing this beautiful & poignant holiday with me.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Daddies in the world – no matter how busy you are, nothing can take the place of your quality time with your children. Nothing.

   

This note sits atop my computer screen. My father was an inspiration to me and to many whom he mentored. Charismatic, fearless, a visionary, entrepreneur, motivator, a true patriot, he was larger than life and is deeply missed by all who knew him.

The Bright SpotTM   –  

 

 

 

Soft Hands, Warm Heart, Now that is Strength!

Teach your children to be kind to animals, to use gentle hands and soft voices. A respect of nature and the world we live in will always serve them well. 

Meet our newest furry baby from the shelter. Her name is Purr.

The examples we set as adults have profound effects on our children. The way they treat each other and other living beings they learn from you.

It’s easy to be tough, cool and sometimes even mean, but to be big & strong and still kind and loving, now that’s a real gift! A treasure for a lifetime for all who receive that love.

The Bright Spot – I am proud of my children, my husband and my parents. Thank you, Mom & Dad, for giving me the gift of Soft Hands, Warm Heart. You were the greatest teachers and I love you!!

My Mom-Shirt Says It All!

Awakened by the sounds of supressed giggles & loud shhhushhing, the aroma of 24 roses and strawberry-cream chocolates, the sizzle of bacon, scrambled eggs & smoked salmon, the juiciness of a delightfully sweet fruit bouquet, and the sparkle of a gorgeous diamond droplet necklace, it was actually my new Mother’s Day t-shirt that said it all:   

Thank you to my dear husband for noticing…you know…how exhausted active Moms are!! Hahahahahaha!!!

 

But really, above and beyond all else, the cuddles & snuggles of my wonderful children, the sumputous kiss from my incredible husband, the birthday hats, the Mother’s Day song, the handmade cards & gifts created with such care, 

& the pure joy of sharing breakfast in bed as a family was the best Mother’s Day gift of all!

A Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there – now go put your feet up!! 🙂

The Bright Spot  – remember as you plow through the fog on a particularly tiring day – exhausted because everything you do is for your family because you love them so much, go ahead and take a moment to grab your kids and snuggle the daylights out of them, because time is short and those are the moments you’ll remember…not the dishes, not the laundry, but the special cuddle, the eskimo kisses, the sweet memories. Then go take a little time for yourself…the laundry will still be there when you get back!

Pixie Dust & Dolphin Kisses

Nothing can take the place of wonder & awe in a small child’s eyes.

Think back to a time when everything you believed in was true & sweet & simply pure magic.

 (3 years old)

Our little one just turned 6 ~ celebrate with us in this photo journey and thank you to everyone who has sent such lovely e-mails ~ I have shared every one with her!

It all started with a trip to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique: choice of gown, hair in a princess bun with shimmering pixie dust, a wand, glass slippers, and a beautiful sparkling wishing star.

Cinderella had just finished dancing with Prince Charming…Sleeping Beauty & Snow White. 

   

The Fairy Godmother greeted Little Petal and her Baby Bambi at the door.

                                 Following her gown presentation in the dressing room…

     

   …it was time to transform into a little princess. Hair, nails, the whole royal treatment for Little Petal and her Baby Bambi – who was also sprinkled with pixie dust and given a matching crystal cheek applique.

Then it was time to meet Cinderella and have lunch with her in her castle!

   

  Cinderella enjoyed meeting Baby Bambi.

Snow White, Belle, Ariel and Sleeping Beauty made our little princess feel extra special, too!

                       

  

After making a big wish on her birthday candle and a wonderful farewell hug from Cinderella,

we enjoyed the Magic Kingdom where dreams really do come true…

…because the next morning, Little Petal awoke to the news that her dream of swimming with dolphins was about to come true!! (For more on her incredible love of sea animals, go to the story “Harmony & Magic,” posted on November 3, 2010)

 We spent a beautiful day at Discovery Cove swimming with sting rays, swimming through an aviary – protected by 2 waterfalls…and Little Petal’s favorite – swimming with a very sweet dolphin named Jenny – what an amazing experience!

The Bright SpotTM  – Creating memories with your family, for in the end, all we have are our memories.

A Must-see Video for All Dads

For anyone who has a Dad, knows a Dad, IS a Dad, or wants to be a Dad, this is for you!!
Phillip & I haven’t laughed so hard in years! Honoring Dads everywhere…
COTM Tulsa presents “Dad’s Life!” Be one of the more than 3 million people who have already enjoyed this!

The Bright Spot  – Dads Rock!!

Is This The End?

We received the dreaded call on New Year’s Eve. The children’s Grandmother had a few days to live and the hospital now moved her to the nearby hospice.

Happily married for 60 years this year, Granddad looked at his daughter with deep, sad eyes and asked, “Is this the end?” when she drove him there that afternoon instead of the hospital.

Every day he sat next to her, held her hand, read her the newspaper,

or stood over her…everyday he must have thought will this be the last day I gaze on my bride.

Blind for the last 2 years, Grandma looked forward to hearing Granddad read to her.

We are proud of our son’s great strength and love of his grandparents.

Our daughter could stand for hours and just lovingly adore her grandmother.

 (This photo was taken 2 years ago)

We’ve explained to our 5-year-old that Grandma is growing her angel wings for her flight to Heaven.

She understands that when Grandma’s an angel, she would get her sight back and then she can fly into her playroom or room and watch over her as she has fun or sleeps. She would be the children’s special Guardian Angel. She could see us but we couldn’t see her. That gave our little one great comfort.

As these days grew longer with sorrow and Grandma’s breaths grew shorter with life, our little one would ask, “Is Grandma an angel today?”

With a very, very, very heavy heart and cheeks stained with burning tears, I write this late hour with the hopes of healing my aching heart…….Grandma took flight early today.

The Bright Spot  – Good God, unbelievably, I have a Bright Spot even in this darkest hour…I was able to tell her again, just 45 precious minutes before her passing, what an extraordinary, wonderful, incredible mother, mother-in-law and grandmother she was and how much I loved her, adored her, looked up to her, and how blessed I was to have her in my life, to model my marriage after hers, and to raise my children with the love she showed us. I was able to say good-bye.

(**Please see the next 2 stories, as a favor to me tonight, about love and time.** They are important to this story and, hopefully, important to you in your life.)

Oh, my heart grieves for Granddad. They shared every moment together for 60 years; Grandma’s cozy chair beside his in the den is now empty.

Why I Love You

When my beloved father died suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack, my sister’s and my life completely changed. He was the most special Daddy and we adored him.

Thanksgiving was the 1st big holiday without him and the empty dining room chair at the head of the table was a cutting reminder he wasn’t coming back.

One of the million things I learned from my father was to tell people why they are so special.

So when I learned earlier this year a close friend of 40 years was very ill from lung cancer, I not only rushed to her that day to tell her why I loved her so much, but I also wrote her a long letter of each and every little thing that made her special to me.

She loved my children like her own grandchildren and they even called her Nana.

It gutted me when she died, but I had no regrets. She knew how much I loved her.

We’ve just returned from Europe.

We took the children out of school and spent the Thanksgiving holiday in England. Of course, England doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving but it was a time to give thanks and tell a very special and significant woman in my life why she means the world to me.

Yes, it was that time again – Thanks…giving – a reminder to give deep thanks for why the people around me are so special and wonderful because there may not be another time – we had received a phone call that Grandma was in the hospital. So off we went!

We spent every day with her. She loved to have her arms stroked, and her grip was strong and purposeful as she hugged. She listened intently as our 5 year old sang her dozens of songs.

Grandma is blind. She lost her sight 2 years ago. She said to hear her grandchild’s voice in song was simply precious.

Every day her room was filled with grandchildren, aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws. Our visits were happy and loving, joyous and tender.

I spent my time with her telling her all the reasons I loved her. There are so many, it took all the days we were there to tell her.

The point is I learned the lesson my father taught me – tell those special to you how much you love them – you see, I didn’t wait until now to tell this incredible woman how much she means to me, I’ve been telling her throughout the years. But this week, I went over everything again just to reiterate how important she has been in my life, in my marriage and as a parent.

Next year will be 60 years with her husband, a beautiful role model of the most loving marriage.

The Bright Spot  – You have time right now to call that special someone in your life and tell them why you love them so much. Don’t wait. Because life can change in a flash and you don’t want to have any regrets.

 

How Do You Measure Time?

(This is a special 3-part post that runs from December 21 – December 28th. As you read down the page, you’ll know what I mean.)

I am so tired of people being offended by holiday greetings, holiday decorations, holiday traditions.

I just heard in the news yesterday that some people in England want everyone to take down their outdoor Christmas decorations because it depresses and offends them because they don’t celebrate Christmas and have no decorations.

Please read Mission: “Bright Spot” in the navigation bar above – just click on the flower.

There you will learn much about me…including that I come from a very large, close-knit, multicultural, multi-religious, multi-international, multi-lingual family.

We were raised to be open and accepting of all cultures and religions; raised to be respectful and open-minded. To be kind and thoughtful of other families’ customs and celebrations.

If you want to put up a tree, put up a tree. If you want to light a Menorah, light a Menorah. If you want to drink from a Kikombe cha Umoja Unity Cup for Kwanzaa, drink from the cup, but for God’s sake, stop your cantankerous yammering, put on your happy face and let the world celebrate…together!

Embrace the differences.

(Our Snowy Village and Christmas Tree)

 

I remember one year buying a Mezuzah for my brother-in-law. I had one of the Rabbis explain what it was. I initially liked its beauty but when he explained what it was, I was doubly excited.

As it was December 22nd, the Rabbi asked me what it was for. “It’s a Christmas present for my brother-in-law,” I beamed.

I explained that my father was Muslim, my mother a Lutheran, my sister and I were baptized Protestant, we went to Catholic schools for 17 years and my sister married a Jewish man, and that was just a glimpse of my very unique family…then the Rabbi hugged me and said, “You are what the United Nations should be!”

Today, my sister called to tell me her husband collapsed and was rushed to the hospital unconscious. As I wait here with the children, I can only pray. And then pray some more.

One of my cousins had sent me the following in an e-mail. It asks “How Do You Measure Time?”

The author is unknown but the message is clear. We don’t know how long we have with one another, so enjoy every moment.

To realize the value of 4 years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize the value of 1 year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize the value of 9 months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize the value of 1 month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of 1 minute:
Ask a person who has missed  the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of 1 second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident.

To realize the value of a friend or family member: LOSE ONE.

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.

And hold on tight to the ones you love!

The Bright Spot   – I have the power of prayer in my belief system. You may believe otherwise, but that’s the beauty of this nation.

We are strong because we are different. Don’t worry about who’s celebrating what. Celebrate with them and enjoy  life!

UPDATE ON THIS STORY (the following morning):

As soon as the kids were off to school, I drove to the hospital which was more than an hour away (my husband went yesterday). And thank God I left so early! Here’s why:

My sister set off shortly after I left. We planned that I would visit my brother-in-law 1st in Intensive Care while she waited in the lobby with their little one. Then we would switch and I would watch their daughter while she visited with her husband. (Their little one wasn’t allowed upstairs because of a bad virus). 

During my visit I found out that he had been feeling very ill, had picked up this virus while away on business, and then really felt ill yesterday morning. He felt so delirious, he could no longer make out the numbers on his phone to dial 911, so he called out to a neighbor nearby, waving, “Help me! Help me please!” She looked at him and drove off. He said he felt like he was dying and he didn’t want to die at home alone, he wanted to get to the public so he went to the nearby coffee shop and staggered in, telling the owner he was a diabetic and needed help.

The owner yelled at him that he must be drunk because he was slurring his words so the owner called the police – not an ambulance!! Then he threw my brother-in-law out the door and told him to wait outside for the police – excuse me, it’s 20 degree weather here!!  No longer able to stand, he waited on the ground, delirious, weak and shivering.

The police arrived. My brother-in-law had just his last ounce of strength left to mumble he was a diabetic and was feeling very strangely and then he passed out.

Doctors told us when the ambulance arrived, glucose levels in a healthy body are supposed to average 100, his count was 1,700 and that he was close to slipping into a coma and was 10 minutes from dying. They actually say he is a “prime case study” because none of them knew how he didn’t die. Now I ask you – where is all this holiday spirit of love and giving and kindness and helpfulness? I was just sick when I heard all this!

So then, while I was visiting him in Intensive Care, a call came in from a hospital staff member telling me that my sister had slipped in the lobby, cut her hand on some rusty metal and was in the Emergency Room undergoing treatment, a Tentanus shot, and x-rays and could I come and get the little one.

The day was long for all of us. So what’s the Bright Spot  in all this??

I remembered my own blog post above from yesterday – how do we measure time, how do we value time? I was with my sister, brother-in-law and niece. I was there to be a helping hand. I was there for a reason. It’s 2 days before Christmas Eve, our big celebration, when I could have been flitting about with last-minute preparations. And tomorrow is a big show on our radio program, I could have been preparing guest questions, etc…

But I was with family ~ and there was no other place I would have rather been but right there in the hospital…valuing my time with my loved ones.

UPDATE December 28th:

My brother-in-law has now finally been moved out of the Intensive Care Unit, thank God. He will be in the hospital for quite some time. Thank you so much for all of the e-mails that were sent to us last night – we appreciate it!

Thank you from my family to yours. Hold those you cherish close to you as you celebrate the New Year.

Tea Cups

Our sweet, adorable “Uncle” George passed away at the age of 95. 

He was the consummate gentleman.

Always held the door open, always in a suit, tie and outdoor hat to go to dinner – no complaints or excuses even as he wearied in his 90s.

He was a devout religious man, a boy scout, an engineer, a loving husband, an incredible man.

My husband’s father and my father had both passed away and George became the

Patriarch of our family. 

His beloved wife, Mildred, had passed away about 16 years ago and we met George the following year ~ he lived next door to my sister on the beach – this is her lovely house at sunset – simply glorious.

Mildred and George had no children; we “adopted” George into our family and for 15 years we shared every holiday, every birthday and every regular day in between as family.

He even had a cell phone on our family plan. 

For George’s 90th birthday, we had more than 80 people at our home to celebrate. We set up huge foam poster boards with photos from his youth – he kept those boards all around his home for years.

Whenever we visited George at his home, he would make tea. It was our very own special tradition – he always had delicious goodies and a fine story to tell.

But the time came when George wasn’t feeling well. He asked us what we would like from him to remember him by.

He knew very clearly we never wanted anything but his love, strength, model of life for our children and model of love and communication for our marriage. But he asked more persistently as he was dissolving his material things so I said we would be honored to have his tea cups.

We would enjoy them throughout our lifetime and think of him.

Little Petal’s Fairy Princess Tea Party for her 4th birthday was inspired by George ~ for he gave us these gorgeous porcelain tea cups that he and Mildred had collected from all around the world.

We honored his gracious gift by telling that story to everyone at the tea party

and we all clapped in his honor.

Below is Little Petal turning 4 and her adorable friend – all the little princess were

so naturally gentle with the porcelain. So sweet and beautiful to see.

We miss our Uncle George very much but we know he longed to be with his dear wife so much.

Phillip and our son were pallbearers, carrying George to his final destination beside his beloved. Both said doing so was very healing for them.

George had brought flowers to Mildred’s resting site every single Saturday for 16 years. He is a model for all of us.

The Bright Spot  â€“ If we all bring one lonely person into our lives, we can change this world one snuggle at a time.

Please go to the Radio Show flower in the navigation bar above and listen to the show we broadcasted Live on November 4, 2010 – it’s now archived on this site ~ we talked about this wonderful way to integrate our Senior Citizens into our families, our lives (and the conversation after the elderly and children about World Vision reduced me to tears.)

Our Senior Citizens are the walking treasures of history, story-telling and love from a time gone by. Grab hold before their story is gone. Everyone in the family benefits and your experience will last for a lifetime!

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