Is This The End?

We received the dreaded call on New Year’s Eve. The children’s Grandmother had a few days to live and the hospital now moved her to the nearby hospice.

Happily married for 60 years this year, Granddad looked at his daughter with deep, sad eyes and asked, “Is this the end?” when she drove him there that afternoon instead of the hospital.

Every day he sat next to her, held her hand, read her the newspaper,

or stood over her…everyday he must have thought will this be the last day I gaze on my bride.

Blind for the last 2 years, Grandma looked forward to hearing Granddad read to her.

We are proud of our son’s great strength and love of his grandparents.

Our daughter could stand for hours and just lovingly adore her grandmother.

 (This photo was taken 2 years ago)

We’ve explained to our 5-year-old that Grandma is growing her angel wings for her flight to Heaven.

She understands that when Grandma’s an angel, she would get her sight back and then she can fly into her playroom or room and watch over her as she has fun or sleeps. She would be the children’s special Guardian Angel. She could see us but we couldn’t see her. That gave our little one great comfort.

As these days grew longer with sorrow and Grandma’s breaths grew shorter with life, our little one would ask, “Is Grandma an angel today?”

With a very, very, very heavy heart and cheeks stained with burning tears, I write this late hour with the hopes of healing my aching heart…….Grandma took flight early today.

The Bright Spot  – Good God, unbelievably, I have a Bright Spot even in this darkest hour…I was able to tell her again, just 45 precious minutes before her passing, what an extraordinary, wonderful, incredible mother, mother-in-law and grandmother she was and how much I loved her, adored her, looked up to her, and how blessed I was to have her in my life, to model my marriage after hers, and to raise my children with the love she showed us. I was able to say good-bye.

(**Please see the next 2 stories, as a favor to me tonight, about love and time.** They are important to this story and, hopefully, important to you in your life.)

Oh, my heart grieves for Granddad. They shared every moment together for 60 years; Grandma’s cozy chair beside his in the den is now empty.

A Letter From My Love

My darling husband, Phillip, underwent a major surgery ~ what was to be a 3-hour surgery turned into over 5 hours because of complications.

I was very scared.

But the support from our family, friends and community was overwhelming – letters, e-mails, prepared dinners, child care, phone calls, hospital visits, you name it, people were there.

Because of this incredible support, he wrote a long letter to everyone when he was finally home recuperating – I’d like to share a part of it with you now.

When I married Phillip, he was a widower. He knows the deep heartache of losing one’s spouse.

This letter will give you an idea of why I love this man so much. Why it was so easy to fall in love with him instantly and marry him after only being in his company 46 days.

 

My Dear Friends,

These last few weeks have been quite daunting for me. Thankfully, when it comes to surgeries, I do not get fazed. If it needs to be done, get on with, just get it right.

My deep concern has been for my wonderful wife, Bianca, and for my children. Should anything go wrong with the surgery, frankly, I wouldn’t know a thing about it. 

But I know, only too well, the pain left behind for loved ones when the unexpected happens and your spouse is suddenly gone.

Without going into too much detail, the operation ran to almost twice its planned time; the surgeon told me it was the most complicated case he’d ever seen in his career.

During all this time, I needed to prepare myself physically, and most importantly, mentally for a speedy recovery.

Also during this time, Bianca was preparing so she could help me get through this. So many of you overwhelmed us with your help, your kind words, your compassion and your prayers. I am thankful for your concern for my health and for Bianca’s well-being. We are truly blessed to have friends as great as each and every one of you.

What has gone unseen during this time is the enormous amount of stress this has put on Bianca.

She has kept on the brave face, looked after the kids, looked after me, and made the house extra welcoming and cozy for my recuperation.

But I see the pain in her face at the thought that something horrible could have happened.

I cannot bear to see my beautiful wife suffer after the amount of goodness she has brought into my life.

 

I love her more than life itself and if I spend the rest of my life loving her as much as she has loved me, I will still not be able to repay her in full.

I truly am THE luckiest man on the planet to have found such an incredible person to share my life with.

Thank you,

Phillip

The Bright Spot  – my friend, Susan, told me about a quote she heard and I love its truth, “The greatest gift a father can give his children is loving their mother.”

 

The Diamond Celebration

My Grandparents were married 61 years. It was a beautiful model of love and kindness that I model my marriage after.

My Grandmother says their recipe to a long and happy marriage was communication and holding hands, walking arm in arm through a lifetime.

  

My Grandfather told me years ago what the key to a beautiful marriage is, “Don’t marry someone you can live with. Marry someone you can’t live without.” (Below: My Grandparents with my Mom)

A few years after my Grandparents’ Golden Anniversary, my Grandfather said, “I am looking forward to our 60^th wedding anniversary – our Diamond Anniversary.”  (Below: my Grandfather & I dancing the night I was crowned Miss Connecticut)

He worked hard until he was about 85 and then Lyme Disease and cancer hit him aggressively.

But he affirmed, “I will be with My Love for the Diamond celebration!”

And he was, thank God!

We all flew to Europe for the big event. The province they lived in together for over 6 decades presented them with a beautiful certificate and a large bronze medallion along with a mention in the newspapers and on the television.

A year later, he passed away.

That’s the marriage I strive for – I found the right man for me. It took a long time and a lot of crazy boyfriends – not all – but enough to make me realize that when I found him, I knew what my Grandfather was talking about – Phillip’s not just someone I can live with, he’s someone I can’t live without.

My Bright Spot  – my husband, my lover…

« Previous Page