A Foundation for Happy Siblings
People often ask me how at 13 years apart our children are so close, so bonded, so happy as siblings, so thoughtful with one another.
From the moment we told our 8th grade son I was pregnant, we made his comfort level & happiness our #1 priority.
I told him he would be her Superhero Big Brother! I also pointed out that the 
benefit of the huge age gap was that there would be no sibling rivalry ever – she would never want his big teen guy stuff & he would never want her tea sets and Barbies. It was just easy from the very beginning.
I also put him in charge of the baby shower gift registry. Phillip showed him how to use the zapper in the baby section at Toys R Us. He took great pride in our confidence of his decision-making as he compared & contrasted each item. We also let him zap a few goodies for himself so he felt extra special, too!
The baby shower was a big party not just for ladies – we had family, friends…girls, guys, kids. We three opened the packages later that evening. Phillip read the cards, I wrote the list of names & we had our son open the packages. It was exciting because every present was so beautiful and HE chose each item himself. When he found a bonus package here and there for
himself, it was like a birthday or holiday. We made that shower so fun for him.
The following day, he & Dad built the crib, changing table, bassinet, play sets & anything else that needed assembling. Our son felt accomplished & connected!
On the day of her birth, he waited with my Doula, opening a surprise gift from his soon-arriving baby sister. He spent the time reading the instructions for his new IPod & testing all the cool features! What a sister!
When he first held the baby, he noted how tiny & delicate she was. He was in awe.
The Bright Spot – Our son has lived up to his incredibly important role as Superhero Big Brother! He was there for each milestone & helped teach her how to walk, go down a slide, tie her shoes & zip her coat. He saw her 1st missing tooth, took her on her 1st sleigh ride and taught her how to ride her bike. For every 1st, her Superhero Big Brother was there!
For a monumental event in our family’s life, click this link: BHUp
Click here for The Making of a Superhero: Superhero Big Brother
Busy Moms, Fluff Your Super Capes!
Many of our parenting shows leave me feeling profoundly grateful – visits by WishKids from the Make-a-Wish Foundation or interviews with the volunteers of orphaned children in hosting programs. Some shows make me feel enlightened by our expert guests on the subjects of hypnobirthing, equine-assisted therapy for children, boomerang kids, and conscious parenting.
After more than 400 interviews during our 15 seasons on-air, I can honestly say I get in the car on the way home from the 
radio station with a mix of emotions and I hope that our program affects our listeners the same way (after airing, the “Let’s Talk!†shows are archived on this site).
One guest, in particular, struck a chord with me. Busy working mom of three, Julie Zeff, MSW, CPCC, author of Vivid Living for Busy Moms: Coach Yourself to an Extraordinary Life, uses yoga and sensations in the body in her work as a life coach for the past 14 years. According to Julie, “she teaches her clients to access the wisdom of their body and mind to help them transform their lives.” She teaches about heart truths and ogres. Heart truths – what you truly desire; ogres – negativity replaying in your mind/burdens/negative patterns or should have’s/would have’s/must do’s!
Everyone knows what it’s like to feel the burden of the should have’s and must do’s, but Julie says everything is a choice. We either deal with those things with positive energy or a burden of responsibility. What you truly and absolutely love or wish to do is your heart truth. Your body knows it, your gut feels it, and yet so many of us, particularly the busy moms I know, stuff away what we really wish we could do in lieu of everything else we think we have to do.
So when I left the show the day of Julie’s interview, I listened to my body and felt the regular sensations of the day-to-day responsibilities I needed to get done: household tasks, family & school obligations, you know the drill.
But Julie suggested our listeners think about what they really love to do and then feel the difference in the body. I love to write. And when I thought about it, it made my heart beat a little faster and swell with joy. And yet it’s usually the first thing that I put on the back burner as I greet each day and my tidy list of things to do. I wanted my “Mom Super Cape” to soar ever higher; it was starting to feel dampened by mortgages & meetings, lighting bills & laundry. It needed airing & fluffing!
So I decided for my own personal growth it would be wise to spend time with Julie off air and see how her guidance and expertise would lead me to a continued vivid and extraordinary life – just on a higher level.
From Julie’s website: “Live a balanced, present, and passionate life on your terms at work, with your family and with friends.Â
• Know who you are at your coreÂ
• Uncover your life purpose
• Leap over self-sabotaging tangles
• Trust the unique wisdom of your bodyÂ
• See clearly where your life is in or out of balance
• Bring on the “me timeâ€
• Know what to do to transform your life into one you love
The Bright SpotTM  – Julie spent an hour and a half with me and can with you, too, her details are below. When I hung up the phone with her, I felt such a renewed sense of excitement that I started working on a chapter of a manuscript I shelved a while back. Because there lies my heart truth for work & having spent time this morning with Julie, I know it is time for that book to come to fruition.
Julie Zeff, MSW, CPCC, www.vividliving.net, julie@vividliving.net
Helping stressed/tired moms live vivid lives they love!
FREE Report Top 10 Tips to Vivid Living at: http://www.vividliving.net
Vivid Living for Busy Moms: Coach Yourself to an Extraordinary Life – https://www.createspace.com/3581207
Our World Community Comes Together!
Born & raised in picturesque Connecticut just 30 minutes from Newtown, I was devastated to hear the news on December 14th. I sat in church longing for words from our clergy to help make sense of the tragedy. My heart was so heavy, my eyes and cheeks burned with tears for the parents, siblings, grandparents and friends who lost 20 of America’s babies and 6 heroic adults that fateful morning.
Christmas was about a week away and the kindly folks of that small, beautiful town felt grief beyond measure. Understandably, the holiday lights remained unlit.
Our church held several prayer vigils for the victims & surviors that horrific night, the very next morning and throughout the week. A Christmas concert had been planned for later that week and the question came up, “Should it be cancelled?” I and the rest of the congregation were so heavy-hearted. I expected the pastor to say it was cancelled.
But instead he said, “If we do not sing, evil wins. If we do not help our community move forward, we lose. If we do not light our 
trees and our candles, evil wins. If we do not help others to start healing, we lose.” “Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you!” (Isaiah 60:1)
The Litany: “I live, at times…grieving the loss of loved ones…” “Oh Lord, You are my Light! Come, dispel my darkness!”
Closing Litany: “If we walk in the Light, as He is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another…”
A fellowship from around the globe! Calls poured in from our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends shocked by the news. The world community mourned the little children & brave adults all together and everyone’s wishes for strength, love, healing and comfort are flooding the families in Newtown.
456 children attended the school. There was only 1 homicide in that charming, rural town in the last 10 years. The parents will need help. The siblings will need help. Not talking about it to trusted friends or professionals could repress feelings and cause future problems. Many may feel “Survivor’s Guilt.” This tragedy has hit many adults and children in many parts of the world. We had a friend whose 8-year-old son didn’t want to go to school. Children need to feel safe. Parents need to address this in age-appropriate terms and only you, as a parent, know what your child can & cannot handle informationwise.
Phillip & I wanted to do what we could to help promote healing. We asked family therapist & trauma expert, Melissa Cook, to speak on our Live call-in radio program, “Let’s Talk!” on 1490am to give specific advice on steps families & individuals - directly & indirectly – could use to start to heal and repiece their lives. All shows are archived on this site, just click here:
