A Foundation for Happy Siblings
People often ask me how at 13 years apart our children are so close, so bonded, so happy as siblings, so thoughtful with one another.
From the moment we told our 8th grade son I was pregnant, we made his comfort level & happiness our #1 priority.
I told him he would be her Superhero Big Brother! I also pointed out that the
benefit of the huge age gap was that there would be no sibling rivalry ever – she would never want his big teen guy stuff & he would never want her tea sets and Barbies. It was just easy from the very beginning.
I also put him in charge of the baby shower gift registry. Phillip showed him how to use the zapper in the baby section at Toys R Us. He took great pride in our confidence of his decision-making as he compared & contrasted each item. We also let him zap a few goodies for himself so he felt extra special, too!
The baby shower was a big party not just for ladies – we had family, friends…girls, guys, kids. We three opened the packages later that evening. Phillip read the cards, I wrote the list of names & we had our son open the packages. It was exciting because every present was so beautiful and HE chose each item himself. When he found a bonus package here and there for
himself, it was like a birthday or holiday. We made that shower so fun for him.
The following day, he & Dad built the crib, changing table, bassinet, play sets & anything else that needed assembling. Our son felt accomplished & connected!
On the day of her birth, he waited with my Doula, opening a surprise gift from his soon-arriving baby sister. He spent the time reading the instructions for his new IPod & testing all the cool features! What a sister!
When he first held the baby, he noted how tiny & delicate she was. He was in awe.
The Bright Spot – Our son has lived up to his incredibly important role as Superhero Big Brother! He was there for each milestone & helped teach her how to walk, go down a slide, tie her shoes & zip her coat. He saw her 1st missing tooth, took her on her 1st sleigh ride and taught her how to ride her bike. For every 1st, her Superhero Big Brother was there!
For a monumental event in our family’s life, click this link: BHUp
Click here for The Making of a Superhero: Superhero Big Brother
Our Soldier Surprises His Sister at School!
Our son is a Soldier in the Elite 82nd Airborne Combat Aviation Brigade.
Our B-e-s-t CHRISTMAS ever as he comes home unexpectedly & surprises his sister at school after being away for a year!
Starts off with a few kids, then hundreds gather to form a huge semicircle to witness the surprise! The Principal says he saw a horseshoe form with nearly 600 kids!
Thank you to all of the students who came up afterwards & thanked our son for his service!
Credit: Buddy Brown, Lyrics: Daniel Brown, Album: Deep South ~ Stop When You See a Uniform
Click this video below:
Our Son ~ I Blinked!
I’m afraid I blinked.
Our son is a young man now, working in Manhattan & making plans for his future.
A dashing big brother & owner of fast cars (yes, that’s him driving his car).
Sharing some treasured memories of a time gone way too fast from polo to the Grand Canyon to England, Caribbean, Florida, Boy Scouts, VFMA, Essex & some of the best hair-dos with every accessory!
Yup, it’s clear, I blinked!
I’m so proud he’s grown into a wonderful young man with strong character.
To see more on this Superhero Big Brother, click these 2 stories:
A Foundation for Happy Siblings
and
The Bright Spot – The job of a parent is to love, nurture, teach and guide so our little ones become independent and loving, kind parents in their future. Please remember to stay in the moment because those moments are passing so quickly. Almost anything can be replaced except time: http://www.theletstalkmom.com/tea-talk-momversations/i-am-here-for-you/
Busy Moms, Fluff Your Super Capes!
Many of our parenting shows leave me feeling profoundly grateful – visits by WishKids from the Make-a-Wish Foundation or interviews with the volunteers of orphaned children in hosting programs. Some shows make me feel enlightened by our expert guests on the subjects of hypnobirthing, equine-assisted therapy for children, boomerang kids, and conscious parenting.
After more than 400 interviews during our 15 seasons on-air, I can honestly say I get in the car on the way home from the radio station with a mix of emotions and I hope that our program affects our listeners the same way (after airing, the “Let’s Talk!†shows are archived on this site).
One guest, in particular, struck a chord with me. Busy working mom of three, Julie Zeff, MSW, CPCC, author of Vivid Living for Busy Moms: Coach Yourself to an Extraordinary Life, uses yoga and sensations in the body in her work as a life coach for the past 14 years. According to Julie, “she teaches her clients to access the wisdom of their body and mind to help them transform their lives.” She teaches about heart truths and ogres. Heart truths – what you truly desire; ogres – negativity replaying in your mind/burdens/negative patterns or should have’s/would have’s/must do’s!
Everyone knows what it’s like to feel the burden of the should have’s and must do’s, but Julie says everything is a choice. We either deal with those things with positive energy or a burden of responsibility. What you truly and absolutely love or wish to do is your heart truth. Your body knows it, your gut feels it, and yet so many of us, particularly the busy moms I know, stuff away what we really wish we could do in lieu of everything else we think we have to do.
So when I left the show the day of Julie’s interview, I listened to my body and felt the regular sensations of the day-to-day responsibilities I needed to get done: household tasks, family & school obligations, you know the drill.
But Julie suggested our listeners think about what they really love to do and then feel the difference in the body. I love to write. And when I thought about it, it made my heart beat a little faster and swell with joy. And yet it’s usually the first thing that I put on the back burner as I greet each day and my tidy list of things to do. I wanted my “Mom Super Cape” to soar ever higher; it was starting to feel dampened by mortgages & meetings, lighting bills & laundry. It needed airing & fluffing!
So I decided for my own personal growth it would be wise to spend time with Julie off air and see how her guidance and expertise would lead me to a continued vivid and extraordinary life – just on a higher level.
From Julie’s website: “Live a balanced, present, and passionate life on your terms at work, with your family and with friends.Â
• Know who you are at your coreÂ
• Uncover your life purpose
• Leap over self-sabotaging tangles
• Trust the unique wisdom of your bodyÂ
• See clearly where your life is in or out of balance
• Bring on the “me timeâ€
• Know what to do to transform your life into one you love
The Bright SpotTM  – Julie spent an hour and a half with me and can with you, too, her details are below. When I hung up the phone with her, I felt such a renewed sense of excitement that I started working on a chapter of a manuscript I shelved a while back. Because there lies my heart truth for work & having spent time this morning with Julie, I know it is time for that book to come to fruition.
Julie Zeff, MSW, CPCC, www.vividliving.net, julie@vividliving.net
Helping stressed/tired moms live vivid lives they love!
FREE Report Top 10 Tips to Vivid Living at: http://www.vividliving.net
Vivid Living for Busy Moms: Coach Yourself to an Extraordinary Life – https://www.createspace.com/3581207
My Mom
Thrown off a Connecticut beach for wearing a bikini, my Mom still rolls her eyes at that story & declares the beach keeper a crazy man.
Coming from a country where they play volleyball topless on the beach, they were lucky she even wore the bikini!
My parents met one evening at a beach club & married 2 1/2 months later. So it was no shock when I announced I was getting married after 4 days. “You know when you know,” she said. Phillip & I married after only spending 46 days in each other’s company and she was right.
Mom loves to garden, paint, decorate & read, read, read! She’s like a walking encyclopedia.
She’s an incredible photographer, interior designer, writer & artist. I love her drawings, portrait paintings, and my favorite, this ceramic chess set she painted nearly 40 years ago.
Mom’s a fantastic cook and prepared wonderful, healthy meals for me the entire 9 months I was pregnant!! She made sure I had the best foods when I was a baby and did the same for my kids.
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Mom & me 1960s             Little Petal & me 40 years later
               and, of course, she gave me my 1st chocolates & Easter goodies…yum!
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Folks who’ve met my Mom totally love her. She’s funny, talks straight and is the life of the party. She smokes, drinks, swears and gambles. She doesn’t apologize for any of it. She lives life to the fullest beating to her own drum.
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When she lost my father 15 years ago, it devastated her. Their love and building a life together for their children was unsurpassed. They were a team in everything they did.
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My Mom’s parents absolutely adored her.
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Those were some smoochable cheeks!!
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            My mother grew up on the water (the Baltic Sea and with Aunties & her Mom above at their beach guest house in Pommern) and could out row anyone. When she was young, she liked to ice skate, bike, dance and travel.
           And she always loved animals!
Mom was always very close with her parents, as were we all.
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My mother & father taught me I could be anything I wanted to be. They supported my achievements in school, my activities,    my music, my whims & fancies, my travels, my moves around the country for my career, and my exciting year as Miss Connecticut & all the wonderful memories of representing my native state at the Miss America…
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…including helping me pack trunks & boxes & shoes and shoes and shoes for the 2 weeks in Atlantic City for Miss America.
My Mom traveled with me to Vancouver to put me on a ship that circumnavigated the globe for 4 months.Â
Mom – who saves everything – threw away my clothes after a week’s caving trip…they were really dirty for her to have thrown them out!
We traveled around Spain, Gibraltar, Barbados & Germany together & tons of other places. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â (left with my sister)
Years later, Mom drove with my dog & me across the country & decorated a house I found for cheap…really cheap…only to find out it was a former drug depot…so I left the house a short while later along with all the painting, bordering, curtain-hanging and decorating she had done day & night the week she dropped me off for my new job.
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Mom sewed countless costumes (above) for me and for my sister & my sister’s students.
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Mom (her passport pic) Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â me (headshot taken by Mom)
She took photographs of my wedding in England when the photographer there slacked off and almost ruined the day. Phillip gave him an earful and my mother took the photographs and she and my sister created a surprise wedding album for me when I returned from England.
My mother also saved hundreds of newspaper clippings, magazine articles and memorabilia from my Miss Connecticut year and painstakingly glued them into several beautiful scrapbooks to cherish always. She did it for a year and I never even knew it. Another wonderful surprise. You can view some of the clippings here: Miss CT in the News.
She’s always there to goof around  and she’s there for all the tears like when we just lost my Uncle recently. He is with Daddy now.  🙁  🙁
                                                     (pregnant with my sister)
Mom has always been great at photography and even gave me her precious long-lens Canon in the 80s on the ship trip. A treasured item, so I was, indeed, very grateful.
She’s developed her own photography and taken headshots for actors & personalities over the years. Definitely helped save a bundle on my own headshots for TV over the years! Here are some snaps from Mom:
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Thanks, Mom, for making my life great growing up. Thanks for all you have done for me. I love you!
In tribute to her, I hope I captured my mother’s life in this pictorial. Please say a prayer for her. She had heart fibrillations recently and was rushed to the hospital. It’s been constant testing every day.
Seeing her weak & tired is unnerving. Fragile is not a word I would ever use to describe my mother. Sweet but tough, robust & resilient, soft-hearted but strong-willed.
My mother prides herself on honesty and has never lied a day in her life. She is someone you can trust. She loves her daughters, grandchildren and animals. And we all love her.
The Bright SpotTM Â – I believe in the power of prayer. Please pray.
The Dulcimer~Giving the Gift of Music
Our daughter just turned 7. For years, she’s always had an amazing ability to hear a tune on the stereo or radio & walk over to her keyboard, working out the song while she hums softly to herself.
The other day my dulcimer sprung to mind. Tucked away for years, I thought what better gift than to pass along this cherished and beautiful rosewood & mahogany instrument ~ custom made for me to every delicate specification. Sure enough, within 15 minutes she figured out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on her own.
Here is a quick 2-minute video of me playing the dulcimer years back…then the video transitions into just the other day when our daughter opened the case for the 1st time. We play Twinkle together that 1st hour with Dad proudly videotaping & at the end of this clip, she is playing the dulcimer for Grandma in England via Skype delighted with her special gift. Yes, very exciting for Mama, indeed. Thanks for sharing!  xo~b