It Would Be Our Honor

I answered my cell on a sunny Friday while I was upstate with the kids. “I’m going to marry my sweetheart on Tuesday,” said the voice. “I was wondering if you & your family would come and represent my family since I’m alone here.”

Incredibly touched, I said it would be our honor! And with that, we attended a beautiful wedding         4 days later. Our friend was from Haiti and his family could not fly in for the ceremony.

My husband was father-brother-friend all wrapped into one, our daughter was a flower girl & I took delight in capturing memories on film.

Our friend was marrying into a loving, close-knit family.

      

His bride was stunning.

 

His in-laws were welcoming & kind. And we were moved by the warmth & joy that surrounded all of us this beautiful August afternoon. May we all be so blessed to have such an affectionate family.

       

    

The Bright SpotTM  - Blessings to you, our friend, and your radiant wife. Peace on your journey of life together. See update 2015 below 🙂 b~xoxo

It’s been a few years & look who’s arrived! The sweetest, darling little baby boy for this wonderful couple. Love those eyes, love those cheeks!

 

My Mom

Thrown off a Connecticut beach for wearing a bikini, my Mom still rolls her eyes at that story & declares the beach keeper a crazy man.

Coming from a country where they play volleyball topless on the beach, they were lucky she even wore the bikini!

My parents met one evening at a beach club & married 2 1/2 months later. So it was no shock when I announced I was getting married after 4 days. “You know when you know,” she said. Phillip & I married after only spending 46 days in each other’s company and she was right.

Mom loves to garden, paint, decorate & read, read, read! She’s like a walking encyclopedia.

She’s an incredible photographer, interior designer, writer & artist. I love her drawings, portrait paintings, and my favorite, this ceramic chess set she painted nearly 40 years ago.

Mom’s a fantastic cook and prepared wonderful, healthy meals for me the entire 9 months I was pregnant!! She made sure I had the best foods when I was a baby and did the same for my kids.

            

Mom & me 1960s                         Little Petal & me 40 years later
                         and, of course, she gave me my 1st chocolates & Easter goodies…yum!

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Folks who’ve met my Mom totally love her. She’s funny, talks straight and is the life of the party. She smokes, drinks, swears and gambles. She doesn’t apologize for any of it. She lives life to the fullest beating to her own drum.

   
           

 

 

When she lost my father 15 years ago, it devastated her. Their love and building a life together for their children was unsurpassed. They were a team in everything they did.

                       

    

    

   

My Mom’s parents absolutely adored her.

 

 

Those were some smoochable cheeks!!

      

                                                             

                    My mother grew up on the water (the Baltic Sea and with Aunties & her Mom above at their beach guest house in Pommern) and could out row anyone. When she was young, she liked to ice skate, bike, dance and travel.

                    And she always loved animals!

Mom was always very close with her parents, as were we all.

 

My mother & father taught me I could be anything I wanted to be. They supported my achievements in school, my activities,      my music, my whims & fancies, my travels, my moves around the country for my career, and my exciting year as Miss Connecticut & all the wonderful memories of representing my native state at the Miss America…
    
…including helping me pack trunks & boxes & shoes and shoes and shoes for the 2 weeks in Atlantic City for Miss America.

My Mom traveled with me to Vancouver to put me on a ship that circumnavigated the globe for 4 months. 

Mom – who saves everything – threw away my clothes after a week’s caving trip…they were really dirty for her to have thrown them out!

We traveled around Spain, Gibraltar, Barbados & Germany together & tons of other places.                   (left with my sister)

Years later, Mom drove with my dog & me across the country & decorated a house I found for cheap…really cheap…only to find out it was a former drug depot…so I left the house a short while later along with all the painting, bordering, curtain-hanging and decorating she had done day & night the week she dropped me off for my new job.

           
Mom sewed countless costumes (above) for me and for my sister & my sister’s students.

       
Mom (her passport pic)                            me (headshot taken by Mom)

She took photographs of my wedding in England when the photographer there slacked off and almost ruined the day. Phillip gave him an earful and my mother took the photographs and she and my sister created a surprise wedding album for me when I returned from England.

My mother also saved hundreds of newspaper clippings, magazine articles and memorabilia from my Miss Connecticut year and painstakingly glued them into several beautiful scrapbooks to cherish always. She did it for a year and I never even knew it. Another wonderful surprise. You can view some of the clippings here: Miss CT in the News.

She’s always there to goof around  and she’s there for all the tears like when we just lost my Uncle recently. He is with Daddy now.  🙁  🙁

                                                                                                     (pregnant with my sister)

Mom has always been great at photography and even gave me her precious long-lens Canon in the 80s on the ship trip. A treasured item, so I was, indeed, very grateful.

She’s developed her own photography and taken headshots for actors & personalities over the years. Definitely helped save a bundle on my own headshots for TV over the years! Here are some snaps from Mom:

                        

Thanks, Mom, for making my life great growing up. Thanks for all you have done for me. I love you!

In tribute to her, I hope I captured my mother’s life in this pictorial. Please say a prayer for her. She had heart fibrillations recently and was rushed to the hospital. It’s been constant testing every day.

Seeing her weak & tired is unnerving. Fragile is not a word I would ever use to describe my mother. Sweet but tough, robust & resilient, soft-hearted but strong-willed.

My mother prides herself on honesty and has never lied a day in her life. She is someone you can trust. She loves her daughters, grandchildren and animals. And we all love her.

The Bright SpotTM  – I believe in the power of prayer. Please pray.

 

Live & Let Love

I was finishing up a really great day trip with my daughter & one of her closest friends. The girls met more than 6 years ago in a baby lapsit music program. The little friend’s grandmother was with us on this particular day and my husband called to see when we would be home.              

“It shouldn’t be more than an hour now,” I said and we each finished with “I love you very much, too.”

The grandmother turned to me when I hung up. “I didn’t mean to listen in but it was really nice to hear you talk like that with your husband.”

To me, it’s just normal. My husband and I are tender & loving in our daily routine. It’s good for us & it’s good for the children. Affection is part of their daily life, and I hope that their partners one day in the far future are just as loving & warm.

I remember advice from some folks when I first married: “Don’t call your husband at work, just let him just do his job.” “Don’t tell your husband you love him all the time, he’ll bore of you.” “And don’t be overly mushy, guys don’t like it.”

But I grew up in a loving home with smoochy parents & grandparents and I went with my gut. To me, men are just as deep as women are and most people, I believe, desire attention, recognition & hugs.

And what I find is that many people wish they had a more loving relationship. Or that they connected more with their spouse.

It’s really not hard. It’s the little things that add up to the wonderful bond between you & your significant other.

A brush past your partner with a soft touch across the shoulders. A little kiss as you pass in the kitchen or while your husband is working late into the evening. I leave him notes in his briefcase, he’s left me notes in the pantry, across my computer screen, in my coat pocket or the bottom of a soup pot!

Arm in arm when you walk, hand holding when you talk, a little text here & a little Google Chat there. It all adds up.  Communication – touch, voice, writing – text or by hand. It all matters.
And nothing beats the kiss! 

 

Don’t think your kids don’t notice. They want that comfort of a loving environment.

Of course, when they’re preteens, a kiss might evoke a look of disgust or even a groan, but in reality, it gives your children quiet inner peace to know their parents are close & loving and, with a divorce rate of nearly half of all marriages nowadays, don’t underestimate the great security it gives them.

So reach out to your partner. Physically & emotionally. And have fun!   

It will not only be super for your relationship, but it will teach your children what a loving family is and what a great partnership looks like.

And the kindness your children experience they will share because they know it as their norm.

   

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – You already know your children model your behavior.

You have the power to mold their framework for a loving marriage and a connected family structure in their future.

 So go on now…smooch the daylights out of your kids and your spouse!  Happy Parenting!™

Which One Are You?

Janet Jackson’s catchy tune “What have you done for me lately?” and John F. Kennedy’s famous quote from his inaugural address, “…ask not what your country can do for you — ask what can you do for your country,” can symbolize your view of a relationship. Where do you fall in your marriage?

For us, we try to do whatever we can to please one another. If I grab a bottle of water for the car or our room for the night, I grab one for Phillip, too. It’s not even a thought, it’s just automatic. And it goes for anything. If he makes a cup of tea, he always makes two. If I can make my husband’s life more comfortable with simple, loving gestures, I do. And vice versa.

Sometimes I’ll warm a towel or his robe in the dryer for him shortly before he steps out of the shower, or I’ll chill a wine glass in the fridge before he comes home from work. These aren’t hard things to do, they don’t take effort, and are so appreciated. My husband sometimes leaves little notes in the big soup pot that say, “I love you,” and I leave naughty notes in his briefcase. 

I learned very early on in our marriage that Phillip was a giver and a pleaser, and it made me want to do things for him in return. And so it went back and forth, back and forth. Now that’s a relationship cycle one would want to keep going!

Years back when I was about 20, there was a significant holiday – I can’t remember which one at this point – but I bought two cards and gave one to my grandmother and one to my grandfather. My grandmother smiled at me tenderly as she gave her card back. She put her arm around me and said, “Your grandfather and I are one; we share everything. We love your thoughtfulness, but we only need one card.” Then she kissed me on the forehead and that was that.

Married 61 years, they were loving and kind to each other every day. They held hands when they walked, when they sat on the couch, whenever they could. The memories are beautifully indelible. Their diamond celebration story: http://theletstalkmom.com/romance-and-spice/the-diamond-celebration/

So as I went into my marriage, I thought to myself I could think, “What have you done for me lately?” …or I could be a thoughtful spouse and say to myself, “What can I do for my husband?”

I know there are some people that might think I’m a wimp. Oh, contraire! When you are great to your significant other and your significant other is great to you, you are united, you are strong, you feel loved, and you are on the 61-year path.

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – When parents are strong together, the whole family benefits and thrives.

 

Pending Withdrawals

Leave it to the English (& Canadians) to serve up a majestic dose of sumptuous cinematography in this heart-pounding period piece that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. The Tudors is outstanding!

The history, passion, betrayals and intrigue enveloped in this flawless production by the brilliant English screenwriter & creator Michael Hirst captures the agony of 1 man’s life journey in his ultimate quest for love and honesty. Yes, yes, power and all that, but fundamentally, as the years passed, love and truth reigned supreme.

In his prime, Henry – an educated author & composer – was known as charismatic, passionate and an attractive sportsman. He ruled with absolute power.

Why did Henry Vlll (1491 – 1547) have 6 wives? How did the Church of England come to be? Why are Henry Vlll and Elizabeth I the most famous monarchs in English history? Watch this 38-hour epic series and see the treacheries that cloak his kingdom unfold.

The voracious appetite of this happily married Mom was effortlessly satisfied with each hour I shared with my equally-engrossed husband. A perfect blend of desire & lust mixed with gross man stuff like Tower scenes and combat will captivate both men and women alike.

The Tudors is a magnificently edited work of art cast with absolutely incredible actors, extravagant costumes, opulent scenery and a twist at the end of each episode that leaves you breathless for more.

We’re about to wrap up our last hour of the series, I’m dreading it and the pending withdrawals. I just don’t want it to end. Bravo to all who made this chapter of history come to life!

The Bright SpotTM  – a delicious next few months with your special someone. Get it on Netflix or the DVD set and whisper in your love’s ear, “Let’s Tudor tonight!” with that knowing little smile and a naughty twinkle in your eye.

My Mom-Shirt Says It All!

Awakened by the sounds of supressed giggles & loud shhhushhing, the aroma of 24 roses and strawberry-cream chocolates, the sizzle of bacon, scrambled eggs & smoked salmon, the juiciness of a delightfully sweet fruit bouquet, and the sparkle of a gorgeous diamond droplet necklace, it was actually my new Mother’s Day t-shirt that said it all:   

Thank you to my dear husband for noticing…you know…how exhausted active Moms are!! Hahahahahaha!!!

 

But really, above and beyond all else, the cuddles & snuggles of my wonderful children, the sumputous kiss from my incredible husband, the birthday hats, the Mother’s Day song, the handmade cards & gifts created with such care, 

& the pure joy of sharing breakfast in bed as a family was the best Mother’s Day gift of all!

A Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there – now go put your feet up!! 🙂

The Bright Spot  – remember as you plow through the fog on a particularly tiring day – exhausted because everything you do is for your family because you love them so much, go ahead and take a moment to grab your kids and snuggle the daylights out of them, because time is short and those are the moments you’ll remember…not the dishes, not the laundry, but the special cuddle, the eskimo kisses, the sweet memories. Then go take a little time for yourself…the laundry will still be there when you get back!

A Letter From My Love

My darling husband, Phillip, underwent a major surgery ~ what was to be a 3-hour surgery turned into over 5 hours because of complications.

I was very scared.

But the support from our family, friends and community was overwhelming – letters, e-mails, prepared dinners, child care, phone calls, hospital visits, you name it, people were there.

Because of this incredible support, he wrote a long letter to everyone when he was finally home recuperating – I’d like to share a part of it with you now.

When I married Phillip, he was a widower. He knows the deep heartache of losing one’s spouse.

This letter will give you an idea of why I love this man so much. Why it was so easy to fall in love with him instantly and marry him after only being in his company 46 days.

 

My Dear Friends,

These last few weeks have been quite daunting for me. Thankfully, when it comes to surgeries, I do not get fazed. If it needs to be done, get on with, just get it right.

My deep concern has been for my wonderful wife, Bianca, and for my children. Should anything go wrong with the surgery, frankly, I wouldn’t know a thing about it. 

But I know, only too well, the pain left behind for loved ones when the unexpected happens and your spouse is suddenly gone.

Without going into too much detail, the operation ran to almost twice its planned time; the surgeon told me it was the most complicated case he’d ever seen in his career.

During all this time, I needed to prepare myself physically, and most importantly, mentally for a speedy recovery.

Also during this time, Bianca was preparing so she could help me get through this. So many of you overwhelmed us with your help, your kind words, your compassion and your prayers. I am thankful for your concern for my health and for Bianca’s well-being. We are truly blessed to have friends as great as each and every one of you.

What has gone unseen during this time is the enormous amount of stress this has put on Bianca.

She has kept on the brave face, looked after the kids, looked after me, and made the house extra welcoming and cozy for my recuperation.

But I see the pain in her face at the thought that something horrible could have happened.

I cannot bear to see my beautiful wife suffer after the amount of goodness she has brought into my life.

 

I love her more than life itself and if I spend the rest of my life loving her as much as she has loved me, I will still not be able to repay her in full.

I truly am THE luckiest man on the planet to have found such an incredible person to share my life with.

Thank you,

Phillip

The Bright Spot  – my friend, Susan, told me about a quote she heard and I love its truth, “The greatest gift a father can give his children is loving their mother.”

 

The Diamond Celebration

My Grandparents were married 61 years. It was a beautiful model of love and kindness that I model my marriage after.

My Grandmother says their recipe to a long and happy marriage was communication and holding hands, walking arm in arm through a lifetime.

  

My Grandfather told me years ago what the key to a beautiful marriage is, “Don’t marry someone you can live with. Marry someone you can’t live without.” (Below: My Grandparents with my Mom)

A few years after my Grandparents’ Golden Anniversary, my Grandfather said, “I am looking forward to our 60^th wedding anniversary – our Diamond Anniversary.”  (Below: my Grandfather & I dancing the night I was crowned Miss Connecticut)

He worked hard until he was about 85 and then Lyme Disease and cancer hit him aggressively.

But he affirmed, “I will be with My Love for the Diamond celebration!”

And he was, thank God!

We all flew to Europe for the big event. The province they lived in together for over 6 decades presented them with a beautiful certificate and a large bronze medallion along with a mention in the newspapers and on the television.

A year later, he passed away.

That’s the marriage I strive for – I found the right man for me. It took a long time and a lot of crazy boyfriends – not all – but enough to make me realize that when I found him, I knew what my Grandfather was talking about – Phillip’s not just someone I can live with, he’s someone I can’t live without.

My Bright Spot  – my husband, my lover…

Hello & Welcome!

In a world of curdling sippy cups, crushed gold fish crackers under the car seats, and perhaps even your white-knuckled grip on your last ounce of sanity after a day with the kids, the boss or both, this is an exciting day!!

I personally invite you to journey with me together ~ through this blog, its stories, tips, videos, photo galleries & the upcoming radio show ~ as we discuss life, love, parenting, relationships, and empowerment by finding your Bright Spot.

What is the Bright Spot?

When the world deals you a rough hand, it’s looking for the good in any situation. You know, the silver lining, the lesson learned, the insight, the blessing, the take-away value…ultimately, the hope!

But how can I help empower you?” Oh, believe me, I’ve been there -click on Mission “Bright Spot”  in the navigation bar above to get the whole story, but here’s just a glimpse of finding that brilliant spot of hope in my life to empower myself over and over again.

Oh, the extremes!!

I’ve dined at Parliament, and have grabbed dollar burgers at Mickey D’s.

I’ve been chauffeured around England in a Rolls Royce, and I’ve had my finely-coiffed hair sucked out of a tornado-ravaged-blown-out back window of a pick-up truck driven by a wannabe cowboy on a first date. Dear Lord, help me empower myself!

I’ve been served decadent dinners on Caribbean beaches by full moon; and served up my own mac&cheese at home on the fly.

I’ve been interrogated by the FBI (nerve-wracking!) and I’ve been hit by lightening (more nerve-wracking!!); when store registers freeze, my husband smiles at the cashiers, “Oh, that’s just my wife; she’s electric!”

I’ve kissed fools and I’ve kissed princes (yep, the kind with crowns and egos) and sometimes the fool was the prince.

I’ve enjoyed scrumptious escargot within Ascot’s Royal Enclosure, and sputtered up chunks of meat when I found out it was black snake soup in China.

I’ve traveled in private planes, & have been scrunched in the back row of economy class next to the toilets.

And I’ve certainly dated my share of losers and learned the hard way what the lesson – the Bright Spot  – in each sour relationship was – finding out exactly what I didn’t want in a man or a relationship!

So when my husband came along, I knew instantly. We were only in each other’s company 46 days when we married.

Look, I love flowers but I’m no gardener. I love to eat but I’m no cook.

So who am I? Ultimately, I’m a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a woman seizing every minute with gratitude. Enjoy these moments with those you love.

Look at the lesson, the gift, the blessing in every situation – good or bad – find your Bright Spot  and start empowering yourself today!

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