What You Give The World Gets

“The love you take is equal to the love you make,” oh, how I love this passage from The Beatles!

Like sponges, with unconditional love, your children will not only pass your love back to you a million-fold, but to their children and to the world. Ode to a good, ole fashioned snuggle!!

 

They are the mirrors of your life…set the examples of love, kindness, gentleness,

 

They are the Superheros to each other…

And with love…

and understanding…

they will blossom into giving and nurturing young folks.

 

Snuggle your children and it will come back to you and the world many times over.

 

 

The Bright Spot   – the natural and giving nature of children.

Such a joy! So grab your kids and snuggle away!! And watch the sun shine in your life with smiles!

Stroke at 47!

An interesting turn of events 26 years ago would wind & wiggle and eventually lead me to my dream man. I lived in England with a woman who would not only become one of my very best friends in the world…like a sister, but who would introduce me to my husband. I am the Godmother of her sweet daughter (seen here in her arms which also happens to be her 1st birthday) and my sister is Godmother to one of her sons. I’m indebted to her forever for my amazing husband & darling children.

So when I received the phone call that she had had sudden hemorrhaging in her brain and was in the hospital’s acute stroke ward, we immediately booked a flight to England. As I stared out the window, I felt a rush of emotions & memories flood my mind.

I thought about the day we met under bizarre circumstances that led me to live in her house for 6 weeks; even though she had just gotten married.

It was supposed to be an overnight. Both she and her husband said I could stay as long as I’d like.

So I did.

     
I remember them taking me sightseeing around England (above: York) and I took them apple picking in Vermont (left), trips to the City, and tours through the colonial towns of Connecticut.

I remember blasting their stereo to my Madonna cassettes I toted to England in my plastic pink cassette case – it was the 80s, you know. They worked by day & I danced in long t-shirts around their house to Bon Jovi, Def Leppard and the Talking Heads.

I’d jog around their little village and chit chat with the neighbors, shop owners and the folks gardening along my way. By evening, I was all abuzz with the latest goings on.

Then back in the States, I remember the train ride to New York City to see a George Michael concert – gotta love those glasses!

And I was so happy my friend & her husband were there the night I earned the Miss Connecticut title heading to the Miss America competition & at the party for my parent’s 25th wedding anniversary.

I remember the excited but weary phone call from England the moment her 1st son was born…he’s now 22 and lived with us for 7 weeks this past year. I was thrilled when she requested I be there for the birth of her daughter. Long story for another day…

And after my dear friend suffered several miscarriages & was experiencing a very high-risk pregnancy, she still boarded a plane immediately to be by my side the day my beloved father died (click this link for pictorial: Daddy).

 

 

So there was no way I was not going to get on a plane as soon possible so I could hug a woman I admire and love so much.

………….Home with us relaxing                         My friend, Goddaughter, sister & me in England

The Bright SpotTM  – Cherish those you love. Give all of your heart to those who love you. Don’t waste time with people who aren’t sincere. There’s an expiration date on life, don’t miss any opportunities to hug those you love.

Doctors say they cannot operate on my dear friend because the bleeding is too close to the stem and one wrong move would end her life. Later today she undergoes another MRI. Prayers needed. With 3 children and a great husband, she’s taking life one day at a time. Doctors say the best thing she can do now is slow down. Perhaps a lesson for us all…to slow down…look around & give thanks for who you have in your life. I am grateful to have such wonderful friends. xo~b

Reunited After 23 Years

Long before Facebook, Twitter, email, Smartphones & Androids, there was the regular land line.

I made a phone call to my Uncle in London that I was in Lancashire for the summer. “You must come and visit, we’ll pick you up.” He and my Auntie drove 4 hours north to get me. They had 5 girls and the summer was one I’ll never forget!

 

But, eventually, Autumn came and I headed back to the States and into my routine. Days turned into months and months into years. Before I knew it, 23 years had flown by.

In that time, my 5 cousins had married and everyone had moved, even their parents; some to other parts of London, others to California & Florida. 

I was reminiscing one evening about that summer and my son asked why I didn’t get in touch with them.

“How? We lost touch more than 20 years ago.” He asked me their names and worked his Facebook magic. I didn’t use Facebook at the time and was skeptical.

Within 24 hours, one of my cousins who had moved out West responded and we were on the phone for ages!

 

A short while later, our family was reunited in London with 2 of the sisters who had stayed in England. I was just bursting with joy! An event to remember forever!

The Bright SpotTM   –   I am so thankful to my Uncle & Auntie for making that visit one of the most treasured summers of my life. Interestingly, that summer would cause a chain of events that would lead me to my husband more than a decade later. Amazing how our lives are so intertwined then, now and always.

The girls now with their parents & one of my favorites of them when they were little. I love you all, my dear family!! xoxo

(Below) With my Uncle 23 years ago and Uncle’s portrait over my Cousin’s & my shoulder

Reverent & Peaceful

Our 8-year-old was asked to be Mary at Christmas Eve candle light services.

It was such an honor.

An orchestra played and a harpist filled the air with melodic sounds of yesteryear.

   

    
……………. She was so reverent and checked on her baby often during the hour.

   

The children sang like angels and the bell ringers sounded heavenly.

The Bright SpotTM – Everything. Our daughter made us proud. Our family felt blessed. And the Sanctuary was filled with love, light & joy. Merry Christmas!

And to all who celebrate different creeds, let’s enjoy one another’s traditions and learn about the beauty of each other’s beliefs.

Granddad with his Beloved Once More

It was a long 2 years without Grandma but she came calling for Granddad in his dreams this week.

 

 

 

 

 

He      He became deaf, and she turned blind just a few years ago, but they always sat beside one another for 60 years, and when she was gone, he lived in silence beside an empty chair in the den. Click here: Is This The End?

Granddad fell in love with Grandma instantly. She was engaged, but that didn’t deter him. He knew she was his only one and promised to love her till the end of her life. They married and he fulfilled that promise day after day.

He was determined like that. He fibbed about his age to defend his country in World War II saying he was 18 when he was really 16.

He was stationed in France, and worked as a specialist sending morse code messages when his communication’s truck was hit by a mortar and his arm was blown off.

                      A female physician – rare to have a female doctor in the war zone in France at that time – sewed it back on…it functioned perfectly!

     

   

  

Granddad was sharp as a tack with very dry humor. Once, he was in the hospital for a respiratory illness that required a chest x-ray. The doctor came into his room looking shocked. “I don’t know how to tell you this,” he said, “but you only have 1 lung and it appears where your other lung should be is a black mark that could be a tumor.” “Oh, that other lung shriveled up years ago,” Granddad answered matter-of-factly, “forgot to tell you.”

Grandma & Granddad gave our little one Tidmouth Sheds for her train table. I put a photograph of them next to it so she could link that the gift was from them. I do that with many special presents so the kids know from whom it came.

Our daughter said she will never give up her piano from Granddad even if she plans for a grand piano in her future. “It will go somewhere special in my house and I will keep it forever!”

Just as Granddads do, he was the explainer of all things.

 

 

No place was better than on Granddad’s knee…

 

 

                                      …& on his back!

Or hanging out grabbing a drink at the pub.

 

Granddad slowly went deaf in his late years. Soon he could only hear female voices. Later, on the phone, he could only hear mine – high-pitched & loud, I’m told. But then came the day when even my voice was inaudible.

 

 

It was crushing for me because I like family to stay connected especially because we are so far away.

Granddad was 88 years old. He wasn’t on a computer. I immediately printed out this website and Phillip had it bound and we sent these 300 pages of family stories and photos to Granddad in book form so he could read them over time at his leisure and keep up with family news he could no longer hear. 

He was kind and sweet and dear and loving. He will be deeply missed by the family. But he’s in his beloved’s arms once again and that gives us great solace. 

The Bright Spot TM –  We did not lose Granddad, for someone is only lost if their memories aren’t kept alive. We’re a picture-snapping, video-taking, storytelling family, so Granddad lives on. Thank you for sharing his story.

My Mom

Thrown off a Connecticut beach for wearing a bikini, my Mom still rolls her eyes at that story & declares the beach keeper a crazy man.

Coming from a country where they play volleyball topless on the beach, they were lucky she even wore the bikini!

My parents met one evening at a beach club & married 2 1/2 months later. So it was no shock when I announced I was getting married after 4 days. “You know when you know,” she said. Phillip & I married after only spending 46 days in each other’s company and she was right.

Mom loves to garden, paint, decorate & read, read, read! She’s like a walking encyclopedia.

She’s an incredible photographer, interior designer, writer & artist. I love her drawings, portrait paintings, and my favorite, this ceramic chess set she painted nearly 40 years ago.

Mom’s a fantastic cook and prepared wonderful, healthy meals for me the entire 9 months I was pregnant!! She made sure I had the best foods when I was a baby and did the same for my kids.

            

Mom & me 1960s                         Little Petal & me 40 years later
                         and, of course, she gave me my 1st chocolates & Easter goodies…yum!

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Folks who’ve met my Mom totally love her. She’s funny, talks straight and is the life of the party. She smokes, drinks, swears and gambles. She doesn’t apologize for any of it. She lives life to the fullest beating to her own drum.

   
           

 

 

When she lost my father 15 years ago, it devastated her. Their love and building a life together for their children was unsurpassed. They were a team in everything they did.

                       

    

    

   

My Mom’s parents absolutely adored her.

 

 

Those were some smoochable cheeks!!

      

                                                             

                    My mother grew up on the water (the Baltic Sea and with Aunties & her Mom above at their beach guest house in Pommern) and could out row anyone. When she was young, she liked to ice skate, bike, dance and travel.

                    And she always loved animals!

Mom was always very close with her parents, as were we all.

 

My mother & father taught me I could be anything I wanted to be. They supported my achievements in school, my activities,      my music, my whims & fancies, my travels, my moves around the country for my career, and my exciting year as Miss Connecticut & all the wonderful memories of representing my native state at the Miss America…
    
…including helping me pack trunks & boxes & shoes and shoes and shoes for the 2 weeks in Atlantic City for Miss America.

My Mom traveled with me to Vancouver to put me on a ship that circumnavigated the globe for 4 months. 

Mom – who saves everything – threw away my clothes after a week’s caving trip…they were really dirty for her to have thrown them out!

We traveled around Spain, Gibraltar, Barbados & Germany together & tons of other places.                   (left with my sister)

Years later, Mom drove with my dog & me across the country & decorated a house I found for cheap…really cheap…only to find out it was a former drug depot…so I left the house a short while later along with all the painting, bordering, curtain-hanging and decorating she had done day & night the week she dropped me off for my new job.

           
Mom sewed countless costumes (above) for me and for my sister & my sister’s students.

       
Mom (her passport pic)                            me (headshot taken by Mom)

She took photographs of my wedding in England when the photographer there slacked off and almost ruined the day. Phillip gave him an earful and my mother took the photographs and she and my sister created a surprise wedding album for me when I returned from England.

My mother also saved hundreds of newspaper clippings, magazine articles and memorabilia from my Miss Connecticut year and painstakingly glued them into several beautiful scrapbooks to cherish always. She did it for a year and I never even knew it. Another wonderful surprise. You can view some of the clippings here: Miss CT in the News.

She’s always there to goof around  and she’s there for all the tears like when we just lost my Uncle recently. He is with Daddy now.  🙁  🙁

                                                                                                     (pregnant with my sister)

Mom has always been great at photography and even gave me her precious long-lens Canon in the 80s on the ship trip. A treasured item, so I was, indeed, very grateful.

She’s developed her own photography and taken headshots for actors & personalities over the years. Definitely helped save a bundle on my own headshots for TV over the years! Here are some snaps from Mom:

                        

Thanks, Mom, for making my life great growing up. Thanks for all you have done for me. I love you!

In tribute to her, I hope I captured my mother’s life in this pictorial. Please say a prayer for her. She had heart fibrillations recently and was rushed to the hospital. It’s been constant testing every day.

Seeing her weak & tired is unnerving. Fragile is not a word I would ever use to describe my mother. Sweet but tough, robust & resilient, soft-hearted but strong-willed.

My mother prides herself on honesty and has never lied a day in her life. She is someone you can trust. She loves her daughters, grandchildren and animals. And we all love her.

The Bright SpotTM  – I believe in the power of prayer. Please pray.

 

Little Notes~~~Lasting Memories

                                                    Daddy left me this note decades ago.

  Phillip left this surprise note for our little one yesterday before he headed away for a business trip.

Small gestures, time well spent together, little notes…they all go a long way.

   

                                      These notes mean something when we find them.                                               They mean a whole lot more when we lose those we love so dearly.

 Daddy, I miss you!!!!   

                                  I see so much of my father’s tenderness & care in my husband.                            I don’t take any of these moments for granted.

                    

The Bright SpotTM  – Write your kids a little note today. It may be something they cherish for the next 40 years.

Kite Flying & Laughter

Indeed, the cards, poems, drawings, gifts, flowers, those are all very appreciated, loved & cherished on Mother’s Day.

 

 

 

But the best part of the day was not the wonderful breakfast with smoked salmon or our afternoon in New York City, it was watching my children’s silliness & laughter wrapped in hugs & snuggles topped by kite flying with my kids in the early evening.

Running, playing, enjoying a gorgeous Spring day with the family. 

   

   The Bright SpotTM  – Be present with your kids, they are your future memories, they are what makes Mother’s Day possible, they are the gift. Happy Mother’s Day, Moms~!!  🙂

The Magic of Reading

Dianthus!!  The magical unicorn trapped in the tapestry came to life – not only in the Magic Tree House book, Blizzard of the Blue Moon - but for our young reader on a visit to the Cloisters in New York City where the circa 1495AD woven masterpiece graces the hall today.

Our daughter’s expression cannot deny the power of words coming to life. And no children’s author makes history come more alive than Mary Pope Osborne. She is a literary hero in our home, a master wordsmith, prolific and creative, funny and warm.

Anyone who knows me knows Children & Literacy are paramount:  http://www.biancatyler.com/childrenliteracy.htm
Our little one started reading the Magic Tree House books in 1st grade.
For her 7th birthday, my mother gave her the entire set. She was thrilled!

Dad & the Birthday Girl are checking out each book.
Book stands & baskets throughout the house, this series commands a special shelf on her favorite bookcase in her room.       

It helped, too, that our daughter was 7 when Jack’s little sister, Annie, was 7 in the series. And when our little one turned 8, Annie was just turning 8!

Annie’s brave and smart, kind and loves animals. She’s a delightful role model for any little girl. Jack is bright and funny, loves to research and jots handy notes in his journal. I have found boys are entertained by the series as much as girls are…and that’s a great first step in fostering a lifelong love of reading. 

Every book has been a joy to read. For 1st & 2nd grade, our daughter participated in the Governor’s Challenge reading over 2,000 pages each summer. Much of it, of course, the exciting Magic Tree House stories. And when she had to tell the Governor what her favorite book was it came as no surprise that it was a Magic Tree House story!

        

It’s been fun taking her to places she’s read about – the Cloisters to see the unicorn tapestry. The 1930s structure resembles medieval abbeys and is situated on the northern tip of Manhattan island. It’s breathtaking views overlooking the Hudson River and the gardens surrounding it make the trip simply wonderful.

                    The Cloisters house over 5,000 European medieval works of art from the 12th – 15th centuries. It is under the care of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Cloister’s Library contains over 15,000 volumes of books.

 

Our next trip was to Plymouth Rock in Massachusetts after reading Magic Tree House #27, Thanksgiving on Thursday. The stories of Squanto, Priscilla, Governor Bradford, the pilgrims & the Native Americans came to life through words only Mary Pope Osborne can weave. As we sailed into the harbor, we tried hard to imagine what the pilgrims were thinking in 1620 as they approached land.

Next roadtrip…Valley Forge – Jack & Annie’s story with General George Washington, Revolutionary War on Wednesday, book #22.

And from there, any family trip we can drive to…Gettysburg, Sturbridge, the Titanic exhibit at Mystic.

The Bright SpotTM  – If you are looking for a wonderful series for your young reader, I highly recommend the Magic Tree House series. The wind started to blow. The tree house started to spin…

Hide the Candy!

Easter is my favorite holiday.

I love that our daughter was born the day after Easter.

I sometimes call her my Little BunnyChickie.

 

I love that Spring just started. Everything awakens from Winter’s long freeze & is born anew. The air smells fresh & green baby leaves are

slowly unfurling. I love pussy willows and forsythia, big blossoms and tiny crocuses.

I love the Easter story of Jesus’ Resurrection & I love the trumpets at church that glorious, Holy morning when we all celebrate together in song & praise. I love & appreciate the religious traditions of other folks as I am a member of a very large, close-knit, multicultural, multi-religious, multi-international, multi-lingual family.

I love coloring eggs & decorating them with the kids. I love the little 50-year-old, wooden, hand-painted European Easter decorations from my grandparents. I love to mix those decorations with our little one’s pretty, handmade decorations from preschool. Old & new crafts together.

I love the Easter Bunny, the delicate, ceramic decorations, fragile Easter eggs, egg-citing hunts & yummy candies.

I particularly love pastel M&Ms!! I like all chocolate, but those tiny, pale- colored little chocolate dots of joy always seem to find my lips, hummm… I admit, I will steal bites here & there from my children’s baskets in passing. I’ll pass a lot – cover those baskets!!

I love the Easter egg hunts at farms, in fields, at church & at friends.

   Parties, celebrations, the Easter Bunny arriving on the fire truck!

I love Biblical epics on TV at this time of year and was particularly pleased with Mark Burnett’s The Bible miniseries ~ simply outstanding!!

The Bright SpotTM  – I love Spring & all the cheeriness of the season!

Live & Let Love

I was finishing up a really great day trip with my daughter & one of her closest friends. The girls met more than 6 years ago in a baby lapsit music program. The little friend’s grandmother was with us on this particular day and my husband called to see when we would be home.              

“It shouldn’t be more than an hour now,” I said and we each finished with “I love you very much, too.”

The grandmother turned to me when I hung up. “I didn’t mean to listen in but it was really nice to hear you talk like that with your husband.”

To me, it’s just normal. My husband and I are tender & loving in our daily routine. It’s good for us & it’s good for the children. Affection is part of their daily life, and I hope that their partners one day in the far future are just as loving & warm.

I remember advice from some folks when I first married: “Don’t call your husband at work, just let him just do his job.” “Don’t tell your husband you love him all the time, he’ll bore of you.” “And don’t be overly mushy, guys don’t like it.”

But I grew up in a loving home with smoochy parents & grandparents and I went with my gut. To me, men are just as deep as women are and most people, I believe, desire attention, recognition & hugs.

And what I find is that many people wish they had a more loving relationship. Or that they connected more with their spouse.

It’s really not hard. It’s the little things that add up to the wonderful bond between you & your significant other.

A brush past your partner with a soft touch across the shoulders. A little kiss as you pass in the kitchen or while your husband is working late into the evening. I leave him notes in his briefcase, he’s left me notes in the pantry, across my computer screen, in my coat pocket or the bottom of a soup pot!

Arm in arm when you walk, hand holding when you talk, a little text here & a little Google Chat there. It all adds up.  Communication – touch, voice, writing – text or by hand. It all matters.
And nothing beats the kiss! 

 

Don’t think your kids don’t notice. They want that comfort of a loving environment.

Of course, when they’re preteens, a kiss might evoke a look of disgust or even a groan, but in reality, it gives your children quiet inner peace to know their parents are close & loving and, with a divorce rate of nearly half of all marriages nowadays, don’t underestimate the great security it gives them.

So reach out to your partner. Physically & emotionally. And have fun!   

It will not only be super for your relationship, but it will teach your children what a loving family is and what a great partnership looks like.

And the kindness your children experience they will share because they know it as their norm.

   

The Bright Spotâ„¢  – You already know your children model your behavior.

You have the power to mold their framework for a loving marriage and a connected family structure in their future.

 So go on now…smooch the daylights out of your kids and your spouse!  Happy Parenting!™

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